Did Somebody Clean? This Place Looks Different….

June 10th, 2010 // 145 Comments

Welcome to the new The Superficial!

This is the reason I’ve been cutting out early this week and not because of my debilitating drinking problem. (Entirely.) I’d like to be like Kim Kardashian and take credit for everything that happened here, but I’ve never been urinated on, so huge thanks to Ron, Adam and Greg who practically killed themselves to make my dick jokes look pretty. Apparently you can do things with computers besides ogle tits. I had no idea.

So What’s New?

- The site received a much needed Brazilian wax while still maintaining all those classic curves you said you loved even though you were visiting other sites. (Cheater.) She also moves faster which means you can be twice as unproductive at work. You’re welcome, American economy!

- The picture galleries are improved in ways that still let you see nipples. I don’t see any point in elaborating further.

- Commenting is an all new sexy beast. You can create your own profile, see what posts you’ve left comments on AND directly reply to other comments. No more typing “@25 why don’t you shut the fuck up, darkie.” Haha! You kids and your anonymous racism.

- Oh, and less Spam. But don’t worry, you can always ask me where to find cheap boner pills and I promise not to laugh at you for more than five minutes. — Make it 10.

- Improved Bikini gallery. I probably should’ve made that the front page of the site, but journalistic integrity was never my strong suit.

- A new “Dirt” category which cuts right to the gossip without having to sift through bikini pics. I hope the three of you that applies to have a blast.

That about covers it. In the meantime, apologies in advance for any bugs or hiccups as we slowly roofie this baby into unconscious submission. (I really need to pick better metaphors.) Look for new little tweaks and polishes to appear over time, particularly something an annoying amount of you has asked for: A mobile version of The Superficial. All those friends and neighbors you’re going to stab for a new iPhone 4 won’t die in vain. Unless you get the white one. No one likes the white one.

You may now comment on how gay everything looks,

- The Superficial

Kelly Brook in a Bikini Getting Motorboated by Riley Steele in a Bikini – 6.9.2009


  1. SexyBrains
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I first? Bitches. lol

  2. SexyBrains
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh yeah. Boo-yah bitches.

  3. Mariah

    I like it :) congratulations

    • i hope the sidebar headlines arent permanently screwed up, please tell me they will look more like the other 2 sites before not too long

    • suckit

      Agreed. Epic fucking fail on the “more” link. It’s not like you’re writing a novel here. Just post the whole story on the same page. Way to make the site more of a pain in the ass to navigate.

    • justifiable

      Who designed this, Dr. Fucking Phil? And what sucks even harder is that the comments are stacked, which is the most ass-biting format out there. So now you have to start reading the whole fucking thread from the top to see anything new, LIKE THIS COMMENT, rather than just go to the end of the page.

      Way to make things just more unnecessarily dickish than they have to be, fucktards. TMZ looks good this time of year…

  4. thunderstud

    Looking good! :)

  5. sam

    site looks totally gay now. and since i’m gay, rock on!

  6. marshrat

    Fuck me the fucking fuckers fucked.

  7. chestertodd

    fuck !

  8. chestertodd

    anal. :)

  9. can we still say cunt and fuck and whatnot?

  10. Em

    Dig the new set up, but bring back the old photo of the blonde chick.

  11. This looks great! I like the look and new platform.

  12. becky

    I will be one of the three people (mostly) using the ‘dirt’ tab.

    Thank you! x

  13. Shuliett

    Would you believe me if I say I liked the older style?
    I’ve been a fan of The Superficial for years and I have to say I got really used to the old design.
    It will be missed :(

    But well, this won’t make me stop reading you.

  14. scustin femmeberlake

    this will do.

  15. i miss the boobs? pink stars are teh_ghey

    • Seriously! How do we see around the stars now?

      • Masturbating is so hard let me help you get your boner going. Here’s what you do to see the not safe for work stuff like the old days : click “view full size” upper right pink letter hyperlink. Keeping with the old stype view full size still opens up the uncensored goodies that we have come to love here.. okay that’s all I’m going to help you with your penis.

      • Anon

        Oh man, I just find it hilarious that you came in and scooped up Randal’s name, hahaha.

  16. No more pics of Lohan please? Sure is cleaner, but don’t go trashing the Superficial all up again.

  17. maomao

    oh fuck. I hate the new banner.

  18. Way better and faster already…it’s like the old site didn’t have that fresh feeling and now all that nastiness has been pumped into Heidi’s boobs…yippee-skip!

  19. Lenny


  20. asdfghjkl;!!

    So now u think ur all FANCEY NOW! , you think your better then me ok bye for now

  21. Okay, I’ll be the idiot and say it.

    I don’t think it looks any different.

    Clearly I need to start paying better attention to the things I’m reading. I guess I’ve just been oh-so-focused on whether Lindsay’s going to jail I’ve forgotten to take it all in.

  22. Valentina

    Please bring the old banner back.

  23. Yes, a mobile version would finally be nice!

  24. qwerty

    I thought I mistyped the adress at first..but then I saw the motorboat

  25. Roger

    No images in the RSS feed anymore?? :(

  26. Okay so you made Gadgets/Movies hyperlinks a fucking popup. I have a fucking popup blocker. Please dont make me change how I get on these sites. I have been coming on here for 3 fucking years, clicking geekologie just took you there, clicking movies would take you to iwatchmyselfmasterbating(u needed to fix that), and that’s how it’s been, for 3 fucking years.

    My eyes are also hurting from this new background color, please change it back to the old color. I calibrated my monitor to the old color. Either my monitor needs to be changed, i’m too high, or you fucked up with hex coding.
    if you dont know what I’m talking about, the color that needs to come back is the borderline gay pink color, and the color that needs to go is the period blood looking color

    Yours truly
    a guy who does not want to type http://www.geekologie.com ever..Again…

    P.S. Your bookmark is number 4 out of 50something. dont make me touch something which does not get touched

  27. Lens Flares give me a raging boner.

  28. Guilherme

    don’t know if it has been said already, but the middle click function (open in new tab) doesn’t work on chrome.

    the link to geekologie won’t work, also.

    looking good, BTW!

  29. Dedsas

    White background with that red yak. And the sidebar needs different background. Site looks like a mess now.

  30. datroof

    Everything looks gay.

  31. william antrim

    i hate change. everyone is always messing with the way my applications and databases interface. cable channels keep changing and the neighbor girls keep alternating their schedules. its like they’re worried someone is monitoring their movements………anyway………………….i like the new look.

  32. the 50 comments per page is teh suck

    having to click that fucking link just to see more retarded comments from short bus denizens is a gross inconvenience

    I much prefer the old version where I could see ALL of the stupidity on parade with just a lazy spin of my mouse wheel.

  33. dicrionage

    No more preview pics in the RSS feed? You just lost a reader.

  34. Darth

    The banner girl from a different angle?! Damn!

  35. jacob's latte

    Wow, this is pretty awesome, I wish the Iwatchstuff writer and the Geekologie writer follow in your footsteps, but i really doubt it!!

    im being very temped at making a profile

    Can you tell the Geekologie writer to do this?

  36. Rhialto

    I was just thinking about ‘change’ and then i stumpled upon this post! Coincidence?!

  37. lotech

    Good Shit. Love your work.

  38. Rhialto

    Take a look at the favicon (icon next to the url).The true story is that it doesn’t much differ from my real autograph.

  39. Gando

    Don’t tell me that the banner girl is the poster as well!? No! Wait,i mean yes!

  40. Nero

    I figured out that to cut the costs the banner girl was forced to make the postings as well!? Yes?

  41. Doc Schweinstrudel

    It’s ok. All is cool now. Btw, WHO is that banner girl?

  42. EroticHamster

    Why does changing pics still cause a complete postback? Why not a little AJAX that just quickly loads the next pic without loading the entire page again?

    That’s a bummer, because this means I’ll still have to CTRL+click the thumbnails to have the pics load fast.

  43. Very nice SF :)

  44. Erin

    Like the old version better, but whatever, I’ll get used to it.

    MAJOR new beef though- no longer being able to read all the text of a post without actually opening the link. WTF. I used to love being able to read all the stories without having to follow the jump. I don’t care about seeing 20 pictures of seeing Lindsay drunk, I just want to read the funny shit you say about them as quickly as possible. Now I’m in open-every-page hell. Boo. This will definitely reduce my frequency here.

    • satchmo

      This. Exactly this. It’s an obvious grab for page clicks and it makes me not want to bother reading anything anymore. Coitus interuptus for celebrity gossip? No thank you.

    • Following all of the jumps blows.

    • fred

      AGREED. In my neverending quest for procrastination, I visit this site SEVERAL times a day… having to click each article in order to read the full version will likely keep me from visiting with much frequency at all. Too much of a hassle. Please, please, please change this back!

  45. Now that you have changed everything on this website and it is a big wonderful improvement I’m left asking myself if me commmenting on a website filled with gay men and ugly fat women makes me gay, fat, ugly and female. As I struggle with this I am loving your new site design. I do not give a crap who the IT guy was that did it, adam grag bill and cindy great job but I don’t care who you are, this is your site Fish so the “great job” comments go to you.
    If only you could rid of the gay men who constantly bash all of the ass hot women who show us their titties. If only you could get rid of all the fat ugly chicks that go on non stop about how they think miranda kerr is hopelessly ugly. Hey you fatty I happen to love miranda Kerr and wet dream of her often. I think we all know how I feel now but at the same time I uderstand why homo and fatty comment here and that’s because they are ugly.
    So for you fatty and for you homo please lick up the sperm I jizzed all over my keyboard while looking at thesuperficial.com and lick it up with new found hope because the new site looks great. You fucking fat bitch I hate you and you too homo guy. Seriously what the fuck are gays looking at bitches tits for what is that about. Also hey fatty use the profile here to send me a message and we can get together and I’ll spluge your huge fat tits, love you stop commenting *kisses*.

    • Doc Schweinstrudel

      hahaha wow you’re crazy

    • fred

      Ironic that the guy who is bashing everyone else admits that he can get no ass and has to do it himself while looking at a website focused on celebrity gossip. They may be gay and fat, but you are obviously bringing the “still live at home in my mom’s basement” contingency front-and-center.

  46. Galtacticus

    Congrats! This looks very much 2010! Even tho i like the very,very first version best!

  47. Gj. I can finally not have to worry about my 6 year old brother ogling all the chicks in bikinis while I’m reading the site.

    Thanks a bunch.

  48. Yes! A profile all to myself. I can finally comment without worrying about that other whiny Victoria bitch making me look like a r-tard.

    Thanks Superfish!

  49. Galtacticus

    Cleaning out what!? The buttocks are on the other side!

  50. cmyk

    Meh. Needs more Desu. And oregano.

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