Diane Sawyer Is Out There Blowing People

August 28th, 2014 // 18 Comments
Diane Sawyer
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Appropriate pictures: I haz them.

Whenever I teach my non-accredited journalism course “Internet Money Make You I Can” at the local Sheraton, the first thing I teach my students is that 95% of all reporting is dicks in mouths. Later, I’ll ask for a volunteer which usually ends in me yelling, “Well, maybe if everyone stopped laughing, it’d get hard!” Except you know what? I don’t remember any of you cutting me a cashiers check for $500, so no more freebies. Anyway, thanks to Sheila Weller‘s new tell-all book The News Sorority, the Internet learned that Katie Couric allegedly liked to accuse Diane Sawyer of blowing people to get ahead, so naturally we’re all going to pay close attention to that because, circling back to my main point, dicks in mouths. Via The Daily Beast:

When Diane beat Katie on an interview with a 57-year-old woman who’d given birth to twins, Katie mused aloud, according to a person who heard the comment: “I wonder who she blew this time to get it.”

There’s also a whole bunch of anecdotes about Katie Couric wooing Walter Cronkite over dinner at her house, Diane Sawyer and Barbara Walters basically vowing to murder each other, and something about Sam Donaldson getting prostate cancer, but none of those possessed a rich fellatio backstory that informs as much as it entertains. Journalism is a proud, noble profession, fuckshitbags.

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Photo: Getty

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  1. Arlmlo Schlongfooster

    Dan Rather’s blonde?

  2. Sure, as if Couric never use that huge mouth of hers to get a scoop.

    People in glass houses…

  3. At this point I’d rather get a BJ from Elmo…you know he knows what a man likes.

  4. Swearin

    Tentative title for the Anderson Cooper chapter: “The Silver Fox Who Hunted for Cocks”

  5. cc

    Is there a web site out there that lists jobs where people blow you to get ahead? I want one of those jobs.

  6. I’d let her blow me. It won’t get her anywhere but I would none the less.

  7. 5guysburgersnfries

    So that’s where the writers of kotaku learnt their craft.

    5 guys burgers and fries! google it!

  8. I swear I think that picture’s of Breaking Bad’s Anna Gunn. Then again, I usually don’t stare at the faces on any of these pictures, so what do I know?

  9. I stopped reading the article when they claim the news reporting industry is sexist. My eyes rolled to hard to continue.

  10. Diane Sawyer is a pretty good looking old gal. In her youth she was a knock-out. Blowjob? Oh, HELL yeah!

  11. gfhng

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  12. zomgbie

    ever notice those muppets are always so happy whenever Diane is around.
    and she always has the best muppet scoops.

  13. Walter Peck

    How many facials did I give Diane Sawyer? Let’s count!
    ONE! hah hah hahhhhhhh.
    TWO! hah hah hahhhhhh.
    THREE! hah hah hahhhhhh.
    THREE FACIALS!

  14. donkeylicks

    So, in season six Skyler develops cancer?

  15. The television news industry is not about news, it is about entertainment. “What do we have to do to get people to tune in?”
    That Diane Sawyer blowjob thing would make a great interview show. Who knows, if it is successful, Katie Couric can steal the idea.

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