Diablo Cody really loves that Oscar

February 27th, 2008 // 81 Comments

Diablo Cody’s tale is a touching story of feminine strength and following your dreams. It should really be turned into a movie that, fingers crossed, will air on the Spice Channel. Diablo used to be a stripper and managed to work her way off the pole to become an award winning screenwriter. She wrote Juno which earned this buxom writer a Spirit Award and a little something called the Oscar. Maybe you’ve heard of it. Her victory was an inspiration to a group of dancers who, in defiance of God’s will, were allowed to stop dancing and watch the Academy Awards. According to Page Six:

Meanwhile, the topless talents at Rick’s Cabaret NY were so excited about Cody being up for Best Screenplay Sunday night, they stopped dancing and stayed glued to the mammary mecca’s big-screen TVs as the winner was announced. They burst into tears when they heard Cody’s name. “She proves that if you follow your dreams, anything can come true,” gushed Charlotte, a busty brunette. The girls have even made a plaque for Cody that reads in part: “Dedicated to Diablo Cody, who has taken our calling to new levels.”

If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to help these naked dreamers get a little bit closer to their goal by throwing dollar bills at them. *looks in wallet* Did I say dollar bills? I meant pennies. Lots and lots of pennies. Or, as I like to call them, “tiny copper dream circles” that I may or may not have found in the restroom.

Photos: Getty Images
superficial

  1. havoc

    Never heard of her…..

    .

  2. D. Richards

    Cunt. Just an absolute cunt. ‘Diablo’, yeah, right..

  3. noly

    second, douche bags!!!!

  4. noly

    second, douche bags!!!!

  5. noly

    second, douche bags!!!!

  6. noly

    second, douche bags!!!!

  7. noly

    second, douche bags!!!!

  8. noly

    second, douche bags!!!!

  9. noly

    second, douche bags!!!!

  10. LeonIncognito

    lol, he messed up the bottom part of his post. Proofread, much?

  11. Mr Superficial, your spelling, grammar and attention to detail have gone right down the toilet today.

  12. Wait…strippers have dreams that don’t involve dollar bills and cocaine?

  13. Eh…he’ll edit soon..

  14. LL

    second, douche bags!!!!!!

  15. Dude

    second, douche bags!!!!!!

  16. mammary

    Hmmm… I see a “slight” difference between the twins here, and in the nudies that just leaked.

  17. LL

    Eh, I don’t really care if she fellates her Oscar… I feel sure that’s not the first time anyone’s done that.

    But why is she dressed like Betty Rubble?

    And strippers cheering her for winning an Oscar is about as dumb as when black people cheered the OJ verdict.

  18. Yeah, you guys are right. #2 is a douchbag.. haha

  19. Peppi

    I don’t think this was an ORIGINAL screenplay there is South Korean movie called “Jenny, Juno” (2005) which has the same storyline.

  20. ipanema_schuyler

    Ms. Busey comes from a rich, suburban family and stripped during one semester, to rebel against her parents, so to speak. this is also called a phony.

    put her for one day with the *real* crack-whore-single-mom strippers and see what will be left of her smug phony pierced being.

    plus, her eyes are not in line? O_o

  21. Dr. Hair Dick FACE

    *Cough* dykasaurus rex *cough*

  22. I quote a great philosopher:

    “I’ll tell you what’s not cool–killing strippers. Strippers are people too; naked people who may be willing to pleasure you for a price you negotiate later behind the curtain of a VIP room. Besides, there’s no reason to kill them, ’cause most of them are already dead inside…Good night, folks!” – Peter Griffin

  23. Will

    she’s attractive enough…. I’d watch her get naked…
    Hell, who am I kidding… I’d nail her too

  24. Holly

    OMG!!! did you hear theres going to be a new season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians March 9th on E!. Its going to be so much better than last season. I wonder if Reggie Bush is going to be on it. Heres the links that you asked for. Check out the game

    http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/kardashians/tushygame/index.jsp.

    http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/kardashians/index.jsp?sid=nav-shows

  25. @25 OMG!! tell me it is not true!!! I can’t wait!! I hope Reggie Bush is on the show too.

    Wait, who the fuck asked for that link? Let kill them!! That show sucks more than the Anna Nicole show.

    Holly please go find a dumpster, crawl in it and DIE!!!

  26. Tapeworm

    Holy fuck, that’s a round face!

  27. feg

    I think she’s pretty.

  28. Jodi.

    YEAH! Female spirit, rags-to-riches and keeping it real…American dream stuff there…oh wait, are those veneers?

    That print dress is horrific.

    ^Jodi

  29. Auntie Kryst

    @17 “Betty Rubble” that was funny! I couldn’t figure out my attraction to that woman, yup, she looks like Betty Rubble.

    @25 stealth marketing cunt stay off this site. Paid bloggers like you are the scummiest fucks on the planet.

  30. spiritkittykat

    I am guessing that she did more than just write this script to get it made into a movie…you know…something on a couch…like the casting couch for the screenwriters…no?

    Whatever. Lucky whore!

  31. El Diablo

    I rode her like Seattle Slew.

  32. dude

    The title should be, “Diablo Cody gives strippers everywhere false hope”.

    Strippers coast to coast are lamenting, “If I just take my clothes off enough times, maybe I’LL win an Oscar too”.

    Diablo Cody: Real name: Beth Schwartz

  33. whoa

    You should see this fuckin’ dog without Oscar makeup:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diablo_Cody

  34. Gerald_Tarrant

    She makes me think of nothing but cereal. I diggum. They’re grrrrrreat.

    Good thing the Oscars weren’t 3 days ago and this sincere hottie (make-up or sans make-up) got passed over in the weblog (fuck the term blog, I hate that word) world.

    I am shocked at how well received a teen pregnancy movie turned out to be. The Academy dicks were too afraid to give Marty Scorcese an award because his films were too violent. Like his films turn people into mass murderers. Like Juno will make Jamie Spears go get pregna…….nevermind.

  35. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    second, douche bags!!!!!!

  36. In a more perfect world, strippers would be admired and honored for skill at their complex profession, and there would be no need for them to aspire to anything else. Meanwhile, until that day comes, the tale of Diablo Cody and her startling ascent to the cinematic Olympus shall loom over the consciousness of peelers and non-peelers alike much in manner of a giant pterodactyl, or Godzilla stomping Tokyo…

  37. In a more perfect world, strippers would be admired and honored for skill at their complex profession, and there would be no need for them to aspire to anything else. Meanwhile, until that day comes, the tale of Diablo Cody and her startling ascent to the cinematic Olympus shall loom over the consciousness of peelers and non-peelers alike much in manner of a giant pterodactyl, or Godzilla stomping Tokyo…

  38. Tim

    I bet that Oscar has been inside her vagina.

    also, why don’t strippers look like her more often?!?!?! there should be a law that they have to be AT LEAST that hot!

  39. Izzat yer Oscar or are ya just glad to see me? Just kiddin… gimme da Oscar. mMmMm his head is sooo smooth…

  40. nini

    ITS TRUEEEEEEEEEEE !
    @19. Peppi
    “”I don’t think this was an ORIGINAL screenplay there is South Korean movie called “Jenny, Juno” (2005) which has the same storyline.”"

    written and directed by Kim Ho-joon…..

    THAT BITCH…..

  41. zuzuspetals

    Juno sucked.

  42. zuzuspetals

    Juno sucked.

  43. zuzuspetals

    I’m going to say it again:
    Juno sucked

  44. T. Whitfield

    Mammary Mecca??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  45. T. Whitfield

    Mammary Mecca??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  46. Ted from LA

    Kissing the head of Oscar? Call me when she can swallow him whole.

  47. Janeane The Acerbic Goblin

    #20 is correct. Diablo hails from Lemont, Illinois, a very posh suburb south of Chicago. I don’t know if she’s trying to pawn herself off as a poor white kid, but if she is, she’s full of it.

    As for fellating the Oscar, it’s not particularly shocking in this day and age, and it’s not really “out there”.

  48. croatiansensation

    she’s SO not indie and has 0 street cred with those bag tats. ew.

  49. FRT

    I hear she is so fucking happy she won an Oscar…that she is going back on the “exotic dancing” circut…meaning she should soon be performing in a strip club near you…sliding Oscar in and out of her love tunnel like a fucking Oscar-Meyer Wiener…!!!

    Poor fucking Oscar…!!!

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