Dexter Was Cheating With Julia Stiles

December 15th, 2010 // 63 Comments

Full Disclosure: I’ve yet to watch anything past the first episode of Dexter, so to me this news seemed all kinds of insane considering I’ve been under the impression Julia Stiles died in 2006. Turns out she’s actually on Dexter along with Michael C. Hall and his soon-to-be ex-wife Jennifer Carpenter which is kind of scandalous, too. I guess. Anyway, Lainey Gossip has the details on how a cancer-survivor stared death in the face and realized he’s not having sex with enough women which, wow, does he want a medal? Because that’s literally my reaction to everything.

BARISTA: How would like your coffee, sir?
ME: I’m not having sex with enough women.

PIZZA GUY: That’ll be $12.50.
ME: I’m not having sex with enough women.

CONSENTING FEMALE ADULT: Want to go back to the bedroom?
ME: I’m not having sex with enough women.

Etc., etc.

Photos: Getty


  1. McFeely Smackup

    well, she’s cute enough to have sex with…so what’s the surprise? Are we still getting blindsided by “rich famous man has sex with more women than previously thought”?

  2. Sizzle

    I don’t usually get invested in the celebrity couple crap, but I was legitimately a bit sad to hear Dexter and Deb were breaking up. And he was cheating on her with Lumen? WTF?

    What are their real names again?

  3. scarlett leaf

    what?! if this is true, it wasn’t an upgrade or a downgrade…he literally just moved laterally, ha.

  4. Julia Stiles
    Commented on this photo:

    i believe it. the dogface strikes again!

  5. Wait, so…
    Brother and Sister on tv show get married irl.
    Brother sleeps with girl in the show.
    Brother sleeps with the girl irl.
    Brother and sister getting divorced.

    …There is something very wrong with all of this.

  6. Elliott

    I think the wife forgot that those sex scenes on the show weren’t atually real.

  7. Julia Stiles
    Commented on this photo:

    Observer: “So Michael C. Hall is nailing you?”
    Julia Stiles: “Yeah he’s so sweet… he leaevs a 20 for me to take a cab home”

  8. Rita's Inner Thigh

    Fish, seriously – set your DVR to record all your iCarly and Victorious episodes and go pick up seasons 1 & 2 of Dexter.

    Between Dexter’s outlook on people and Masuka’s outlook acceptable sexual behavior, I’m sure the show is a bull’s eye for you.

    • Deacon Jones

      I’m a huge fan of Masuka (obviously)

      Big fan of Dexter as well, but I can’t justify paying the $16.99 a month for Showtime year round, especially when this is the only decent show of theirs I watch. I’m dumping Showtime and will just watch the upcoming seasons on DVD.

      • Jon

        Hasn’t seen Dexter but notices when an actress changes hair colour. Forget Travolta giving blowjobs, what about the writer for this site? Haha.

  9. Matty

    I’m 99% sure this chick and the girl from Chuck are the same person. It will take a threesome to convince me otherwise.

    • anonymous

      Face looks the same but the chick from Chuck has one hell of a body. Julia Stiles has the body of Justin Beiber.

  10. saltydog

    haven’t seen the last 2 eps of the season yet, but she’s fucking great on the show and is going to win the Golden Globe just like John Lithgaw did last year

  11. Savalas

    I like her. She looks like Julie Meadows.

    Or maybe that’s why i like Julie Meadows – she looks like Julia Stiles.

    I’m going to have to go think about that.

  12. edez

    moon pie face *vomits*

  13. eatme

    holy fuck if this is true. it will mean the end of dexter.

  14. stevebeagle

    she has that inbred look about her lately.

  15. Juiol

    Ugh, she’s so irritating. At least “Debra” was an attractive man.

  16. GravyLeg

    She’s cute but she has dude voice….

  17. How soon before Jennifer Carpenter becomes the first choice for every shitty RomCom and Hall/Stiles start stealing foreign children?

  18. GravyLeg

    Does this mean Lili Sobieski will be next to make the “twenty something actresses with men’s voices who are pulled out of obscurity” list????

  19. dobbs

    That chick on Dexter is one of the worst actors of all time. Of all time!

    And why is Stiles standing next to someone who looks suspiciously like M Ward.

  20. itk

    Cheats on a chick with a hot body and a dudish face with the chick from the show with the Gilmore milf and Coach? Even Masuka would be ashamed of Dexter’s taste in women.

  21. Julia Stiles
    Dr. Rhino
    Commented on this photo:

    All I can say is that M.C. Hall must have a thing for ugly, skinny girls with no breasts. Having sex with either of them would be like riding a girls bike…it’s all fun until your friends find out you’re doing it!

  22. pessimism

    He traded a pit stained man-face for a man-voiced dinner plate-face. Weird. Dexter can do better.

  23. Corny Culo

    The fact that he was married to a woman is surprising to me! I always thought the guy was gay–from his face and his overall demeanor. And now, it gets released that he was cheating and with another woman!? I would have thought it would be with a dude.

  24. jojo

    Out of the frying pan face and into the fire of Hell.

  25. fappuccino

    Dexter has a thing for ugly chicks, Julia Stiles is pretty fucking ugly though, damn.

  26. Parker

    Now, I realize this is going to sound whacky but given 30 seconds for a free-for-all, I’d quickly pack my weiner into Julia Stiles’ butt and fill her rectum with DNA. I mean fill it to overflowing. I bet she loves all anal all the time.

  27. ChaosCat

    He cheated on her with face-like-a-frying-pan? Michael – have some standards!!

  28. Which one is Julia Stiles?

  29. Man, everybody’s baggin’ on the chicks I like today. Julia Stiles has always been a cutie to me. She seems real, laid back, smart, and indeed, I like the shape of her melon ball head.

    • Rex

      I agree with you. I have always thought that she was hot, and if I had to pick any actress to marry it would be her. She is one of the few whom I feel is not being fake physically or mentally. So she is my number one. I don’t care what anyone says.

  30. I thought everyone in this equation was gay. Still do, sort of. Lainey Gossip isn’t exactly the New York Times.

    Of course neither is the New York Times.

    Anyway, I’ve always thought Carpenter was cute. Always hated Julia Stiles. Kind of Leelee Sobieski without the legs and boobs. And if you take away Sobieski’s legs and boobs all you’re left with is….ummm…Julia Stiles.

  31. Randal(l)

    When you come face to face with death you tend to realize life is so very short, and you should spend every possible moment bumping uglies with whatever piece of ass comes your way. I’m pretty sure I read that in the bible.

  32. she is so classy

    Great actress . go julia you”re Hot

  33. MrsEllis

    You guys are mean. I love her face. There’s something about it that makes me just want to stare at her. Plus she used to date Joseph Gordon-Levitt (hottest. guy. ever.) while they were both at Columbia. I wish I had her life…

  34. Sahroni

    I don’t know if I am making this up, but wasn’t this guy caught in one of those embarrassing and/or compromising incidents with a ‘dude that looked an awful lot like a lady’? I could’ve sworn that rumor/story was floating around right before the news of his cancer diagnosis hit the media, which seemed to quickly squelch it.

  35. Kmac

    Hey nerds. I think that’s M. Ward, not Dexter. Which makes me feel really cool for picking out the indie rock fella. Even though I read celebrity gossip daily. So I’m not above anyone. I get it.

  36. Kmac

    And I’d be really embarrassed if you knew that all along and I just didn’t get the joke. Oh my, my my.

  37. Mark B

    I thought Stiles only liked dark meat??

  38. Pangulin

    (inside courtroom at divorce proceedings; MCH to judge0
    MCH: Your Honor,I thought it was my wife all those times I was with Ms.Stiles. They all look the same when they got no boobs, especially in the dark of the closet. I truly believed we were just adding spice to our marriage with some kinky sex games.

  39. wim

    BOY’S are such weak/fragile creatures, YOU DON’T WANNA KNOW!!

  40. Britton

    Two flat chested women…he must really hate boobies……..

  41. Julia Stiles
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs some tooth whitning

  42. JustDex

    I think Julia and Jennifer were having an affair and Michael found out about it.

  43. you cats are nuts! Julia is very sexy. I guess nobody has seen the cover of last month’s Cosmo (didn’t read it, just looked). She looked very tasty in that dress!

  44. Sarah

    I don’t know…
    She looks like Butt Head, with that thing in her lips….
    And her face is so familiar…. I think there’s some of “Heath Ledger”….

    I don’t know man….
    She’s just like Butt Head (from beavis and Butt-Head) and Heath Ledger….

    So FUGLY!

  45. Julia Stiles
    Commented on this photo:

    M. Ward is allsome.

  46. Ehab

    Hiii world!! Thats bogus tho

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