Dennis Rodman Bought A Ticket to North Korea Using Weed Money

Dennis Rodman visiting North Korea is nothing new. He’s been chumming up with his best bra, Kim Jong Un, since 2013. Rodman has stated in the past that his visits are purely to play basketball and bang North Korean models while drinking the most expensive tequila in the world (Kimbo Starve has a Versailles-like liquor cabinet). This time is a bit different, not only are tensions between the hermit kingdom and the U.S. akin to two children in the back seat of a station wagon crying out, “I’m not touching you!” but Rodman is legit acting as an unofficial U.S. ambassador between two of his friends: Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump. Rodman appeared on two seasons of Celebrity Apprentice and supported Donald’s campaign so he’s practically a cabinet member.

Trump aside, this is some fever dream news because Rodman somehow is having his trip sponsored by which is basically bitcoin for buying weed online. Keep in mind, North Korea is the type of place where they feed you to dogs if you are caught parting too hard. Please just read this next part nice and slow… Amid escalating tensions between two nuclear powers, a former NBA basketball player who has broken his dick in half at least three times, with a plane ticket sponsored by an online currency specifically for marijuana, is going to North Korea to try and ‘open a door’ for more diplomatic talks between the United States and Kim Jong Un by getting hammered and playing basketball with the supreme leader.

That’s not a log line from a dystopian cyber-comic, it’s real.

*The guy to Rodman’s left might be Hervé Villechaize reincarnate, but that has yet to be confirmed*

Upon arriving in Pyongyang, Rodman told reporters he was “just there to have a good time“… Translation: I’m here to break my dick for a fourth time and maybe talk Kim Jong Un into not being such an asshole… basically Rex Tillerson’s job.