Denise Richards is scared of AIDS

deniseaids.jpgCharlie Sheen’s hookering around has finally scared Denise Richards into visiting a medical facility for some testing:

A terrified Denise Richards has secretly taken an AIDS test because she’s convinced that her soon-to-be-ex-husband Charlie had been cheating on her with hookers throughout their attempted reconciliation.

What’s shocking to me isn’t her concern for having AIDS, but her apparent lack of concern for all the other diseases she probably has. I doubt there are streets that have seen as many hookers as Charlie Sheen. He’s likely the largest collection of venereal diseases in the country. He’s the Ellis Island of STD’s, his penis standing at the gates, proudly welcoming one and all. At its base is the small inscription: Give me your syphilis, your gonorrhea, your huddled masses of small, itchy bumps. The wretched refuse of whatever that is on your inner thigh. As long as I’m paying for it, I’ll take all I can get. And you’d wonder how he could fit it all, but damn that man has a wide crotch.