Denise Richards is never low on sperm

May 21st, 2008 // 39 Comments

Denise Richards may be a walking amalgamation of dumb, but she knows where to find sperm. During her divorce from Charlie Sheen, he claimed that Denise e-mailed him asking for sample of his Hot Shots. In a blatant effort to promote her new reality show Denise Richards: It’s Complicated, she stopped by The Today Show this morning (video after the jump) and dusted off the old e-mail rumor by questioning its authenticy. Fun fact: Denise Richards can neither say nor spell any of the words in that last sentence:

That e-mail is not legitimate. It’s a doctored e-mail. I would never send an e-mail to his girlfriend, and, at the time of that e-mail, I was with Richie. If I wanted anybody’s sperm, I’d have asked for Richie’s.”

To which Richie Sambora replied: “I’ve got sperm?” Then he drunkenly drove his kids to school only to wind up in Mexico instead. But, I mean really, what’s more educational than tequila shooters? The answer: Jagerbombs. Ha ha, I love learning.

Photos: Splash News, Video: MSNBC
superficial

  1. It's me Fuckers

    stupid, psycho cunt.

  2. someguy

    Second. Damn, why did I read first instead of going right to the comments? Must think more.

    .

  3. Ted Mosby

    I’d hit that.

  4. It's me Fuckers

    I’ll rephrase that…

    Super psychotic bitch from Hell

    That’s better.

  5. Boring Site This Week!

    This site is boring this week! This is more amusing!

    Espinal, 44, was drinking beer and playing poker with his buddies in Fort Worth when he got an itch he couldn’t scratch, The Dallas Morning News reports.
    But instead of rubbing against a chair or asking one of his friends for help, he walked into another room and used a revolver to relieve the itch.
    That’s when … Bang!

  6. ph7

    True story: I dated a girl once who asked for my sperm in a ziploc, so she could sniff it when I was not around. As you might imagine, I dumped that freak after the sex got boring.

  7. noneyobeezwax

    she can have my sperm, but she’s gonna have to scrape it from the corner of her eye. booyah! count it.

  8. ph7

    Just watched the video. She’s a whole barrel of batshit crazy, but you know what? Definitely fuckable.

  9. mimi

    And FISH-GUTZ is never low on bad taste.

  10. Fashion Police

    I approve of her dress

  11. norton

    Let’s see…. extremely attractive Hollyweird “actress” and a whore.

    That’s unique.

  12. brett

    > authenticy

    who is it that can’t spell again?

  13. Tom Cruise

    The chick is smoking hot despite the level plane at her chest area.

    but would you put your dick where dirty Charlie and drunkie Richie put theirs before??
    fuck yeah i would. after i ziploc-ed my schnitzel airtight. the fact that she’s a total bitch and could go postal at any moment makes for a crazy ass fuckfest.

  14. janex

    @7 – Brilliant!

  15. Cindy

    Damnit! Now I need a new tablecloth.

  16. SoYeah

    So disgusting. “Oh I’m not saying anything! But while we’re on the subject….” Mmhmm. Just shut your mouth.

  17. SoYeah

    So disgusting. “Oh I’m not saying anything! But while we’re on the subject….” Mmhmm. Just shut your mouth.

  18. Alicat

    #10- What about those hideous sunglasses?

  19. tp

    I’m sorry…am I missing something here?? WTF would she need sperm for?!?!

  20. Howie

    These two need to stop making their private lives so public. When you’re arguing about sperm on national television, it is time to take a step back.

  21. Ted from LA

    She should just check her curtains if she wants some of Charlie’s sperm. I heard she was also obtaining sperm in a quest to get pregnant. She ate almost half a quart of it and no pregnancy, so she gave up.

  22. Yes!

    that is amazing for something that is amazing and such

  23. BunnyButt

    I thought maybe she requested the sperm so she could determine, through DNA testing, if Charlie’s actually her kids’ father. No point in giving the ex custody/visitation if he’s not your babies’ daddy.

  24. pondering

    #20 so true! They’re both pathetic people.

  25. Kra-Z

    Get this girl fitted for a jacket that ties in the back. She is chock full o nuts!

  26. Kingsley Amis

    Sorry, Fish, but she isn’t the only one challenged by the big words. “authenticy?”

  27. Billy "Bucky" Sheen (the unknown brother)

    Psychologically speaking:

    Charlie Sheen has had very publicized battles with sex addiction. Namely, paying for sex with cheap Hollywood hookers (or maybe not-so-cheap). The fact that Denise Richards even married Charlie Sheen, may be that she either has worked as an escort before herself?

    Whatever the case may be, these two individuals are evenly yolked, which is why they just can’t seem to keep their “private lives” private. And let’s not begrudge this Hollywood Whore her last 15 minutes in the spotlight. Next she’ll be gracing the cover of Hustler, that is after her Shannon Tweed-esque soft porn career takes off.

    I live in Hollywood, and find myself ashamed of all of the crap that whores like her perpetrate. This town needs an enema!

    Side Note: I actually had dinner with Martin Sheen one evening. He is the loveliest man, which makes me wonder how he spawned such a useless piece of crust like Charlie. Do you think that during Charlie’s and Denise’s’ wedding ceremony, Martin leaned in his wife’s ear and whispered, “this is going to be one messy divorce.”

  28. Billy "Bucky" Sheen (the unknown brother)

    Psychologically speaking:

    Charlie Sheen has had very publicized battles with sex addiction. Namely, paying for sex with cheap Hollywood hookers (or maybe not-so-cheap). The fact that Denise Richards even married Charlie Sheen, may be that she either has worked as an escort before herself?

    Whatever the case may be, these two individuals are evenly yolked, which is why they just can’t seem to keep their “private lives” private. And let’s not begrudge this Hollywood Whore her last 15 minutes in the spotlight. Next she’ll be gracing the cover of Hustler, that is after her Shannon Tweed-esque soft porn career takes off.

    I live in Hollywood, and find myself ashamed of all of the crap that whores like her perpetrate. This town needs an enema!

    Side Note: I actually had dinner with Martin Sheen one evening. He is the loveliest man, which makes me wonder how he spawned such a useless piece of crust like Charlie. Do you think that during Charlie’s and Denise’s’ wedding ceremony, Martin leaned in his wife’s ear and whispered, “this is going to be one messy divorce.”

  29. ApacheRose

    Dammit #12 got there first.

    AUTHENTICITY.

    If you’re going to pick on other people for not being able to spell, you might want to spell check your own stuff.

  30. Cashmere

    Check out Denise Richards from her point of view….her hit new reality show premieres on Memorial Day on the E! Network!! Dont take our word for it….judge for yourself at the link…http://youtube.com/deniseitscomplicated…: )!!

  31. havoc

    I’d watched maybe, just maybe. Like if she blew her brains out while topless.

    Maybe…..

    .

  32. Knee Ya Ha Ha

    Well ‘Bucky #28 ‘ both Martin and Chuck have said 9/11 was an inside job – so you’ve got to give these friendwee thespians cu-wed-it 4 something.
    (Oh. Ladies – don’t necessarily marry first boy who happens by…)

  33. HereIambaby

    she is a style of wonder and beauty. I guess a women can get out of jail and style look fabulous.i signed in the site ~~blackcentury.com~~ and some men were talking about her and said she is attractive.

  34. SHE FLOSSES AFTERWARDS?

  35. Cashmere

    Denise is ready to let us know who she really is so we can judge for ourselves! Watch It’s Complicated on E! this Memorial Day!

  36. Ashlee

    Does anybody know what her sunglasses are??
    thanks :)

  37. Fillup

    She can have my sperm anytime for free !!

  38. rogue 525

    with tits like hers, she doesnt need brains!!!

  39. Bushwacker

    she has a right to her opnion….as long as i can get between her legs that is, BANG! i shot the monkey

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