I’m assuming this face helped.
While making the promotional rounds for her new book The Real Girl Next Door yesterday, Denise Richards revealed that she used a children’s book on addiction to explain Charlie Sheen to her two daughters. Via FOX News:
“I did have to have a conversation with them about addiction and got a book to read to them because I was just lying to them so much and covering up and telling lies, and it was just getting too confusing,” Richards told Matt Lauer Tuesday on the “Today” show.
The actress said while she tried to shield her two daughters– Sam, 7, and Lola, 6 — from media coverage over their father’s partying ways, they would still “hear things, through other kids.”
… “They are so young,” Richards, 40, said of her daughters. “I think they did comprehend some of it. And as they get older they’ll learn more as needed but I told them enough for them to make sense of some things that were going on.”
Somehow I get the feeling Elmo Needs a Taste isn’t going to come close to doing the job here. In fact, I’m pretty sure nothing short of taping her kids eyes open, pumping them full of LSD and forcing them to watch Requiem For a Dream and Bang Bus clips on loop would even begin to scratch the surface. Because even if Charlie appeared to them in their mind’s eye and told them about the time he built a woman out of pure cocaine, only to be forced to shoot her before the Vatican could use her against him in an epic spirit battle across time and space, they’d still have no fucking clue why their father literally believes he’s an F18 and drank gasoline on their birthday. “Need that to do my strafes later. Warlock strafes. Did that cake just move? DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!”