At an after-party for Madonna’s recently launched Sticky & Sweet Tour, her brother Christopher Ciccone felt the mood was right for sharing a lactating Demi Moore anecdote with The Sun. But, then again, when isn’t the mood right for a Demi Moore story about breast milk? (Answer: Christmas dinner. I’ve been shunned.):
He said: “We went out and Demi was dancing up on me and humping me from behind. She was lactating at the time and she was squirting breast milk at my lesbian friends.
“My friend Michelle called me the next morning and asked me: ‘How do I get breast milk out of my black dress?’
“I replied: ‘How the f*** would I know? Call Demi!’”
Try club soda. Now, keep in mind the source of this story is Madonna’s brother and The Sun. So the only place this really happened is my mind – and right now: “Look out, Demi, she wants you to sign a petition for gay adoption! PEW PEW PEW!”