Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore attended the Sundance premiere of his new movie Spread on Saturday, and anyone else starting to get the overwhelming feeling Demi is with this guy for the publicity? I mean, the look on her face is clearly that of a woman who four years ago thought this kid was going to be more than just a punchline, so now she stays up all night calculating the best way to divorce him without looking like a goddamn Succubus.
Well, Demi, you’re in luck. I did the math and you have two options: Either somehow his sperm impregnates Rumer, or you wait five more years when who knows what you’ll look like. Jesus, you didn’t even hesitate for that turkey baster!