Demi Moore Was Doing Whip-Its

Apparently Demi Moore was knocking back whip-its the night she was hospitalized because she’s 18 and living in her parent’s basement while working a dead-end job at Arby’s. A fact I’ve secretly suspected for years now, but lacked the journalistic integrity to follow through on. Gotta start trusting my gut more. TMZ reports:

Sources tell TMZ … one of Demi’s friends who was at her home told emergency workers Demi was doing whip-its. A whip-it is a street name for a type of nitrous oxide inhalant.
The friend said she became upset when Demi had a reaction to a whip-it and lapsed into semi-consciousness.
It appears Demi had symptoms of a seizure — after inhaling the nitrous.

And if you’re wondering what could cause a wealthy 49-year-old woman with access to every pharmaceutical goodie known to man to resort to snorting Cool Whip to feel young again, Ashton Kutcher’s new haircut of course. Hollywood Life reports:

When Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher saw each other at a CAA Golden Globes party Jan. 13, they both acted calm, cool and collected. However, two specialists tell the awkward encounter could have triggered Demi’s unfortunate spin out of control.
“She is probably still in love with him. Its just like anybody, when there is a break-up and one person doesn’t want to break-up and you see that person in a social situation or if you see him with another woman it could throw things into a whole cascade of events,” addiction specialist Gregory A. Smith MD explains to us.

In Demi’s defense, Ashton did look like a douchebag Jesus for a long time and was probably doing it to push her away on account of her advanced age frightening the shit out of him, so to see him looking so fresh-faced and handsome again would cause anyone to shove an aerosol can up their nose in a fit of manic depression. Not really, of course, but that just seemed like the right thing to say in this situation. I’m a healer of souls.

Photos: Splash News