Demi Moore Was Doing Whip-Its

January 26th, 2012 // 35 Comments

Apparently Demi Moore was knocking back whip-its the night she was hospitalized because she’s 18 and living in her parent’s basement while working a dead-end job at Arby’s. A fact I’ve secretly suspected for years now, but lacked the journalistic integrity to follow through on. Gotta start trusting my gut more. TMZ reports:

Sources tell TMZ … one of Demi’s friends who was at her home told emergency workers Demi was doing whip-its. A whip-it is a street name for a type of nitrous oxide inhalant.
The friend said she became upset when Demi had a reaction to a whip-it and lapsed into semi-consciousness.
It appears Demi had symptoms of a seizure — after inhaling the nitrous.

And if you’re wondering what could cause a wealthy 49-year-old woman with access to every pharmaceutical goodie known to man to resort to snorting Cool Whip to feel young again, Ashton Kutcher‘s new haircut of course. Hollywood Life reports:

When Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher saw each other at a CAA Golden Globes party Jan. 13, they both acted calm, cool and collected. However, two specialists tell HollywoodLife.com the awkward encounter could have triggered Demi’s unfortunate spin out of control.
“She is probably still in love with him. Its just like anybody, when there is a break-up and one person doesn’t want to break-up and you see that person in a social situation or if you see him with another woman it could throw things into a whole cascade of events,” addiction specialist Gregory A. Smith MD explains to us.

In Demi’s defense, Ashton did look like a douchebag Jesus for a long time and was probably doing it to push her away on account of her advanced age frightening the shit out of him, so to see him looking so fresh-faced and handsome again would cause anyone to shove an aerosol can up their nose in a fit of manic depression. Not really, of course, but that just seemed like the right thing to say in this situation. I’m a healer of souls.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. blueberry

    she was devouring whippet puppies. the secret to glowing skin.

  2. Ha ha! Fuck, I’m lame… I thought she was knocking back these things :0

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chocolate-coated_marshmallow_treats#Whippets

  3. She’s like Ann Coulter’s brunette doppelganger..

  4. Frank Burns

    “one of Demi’s friends who was at her home” = dealer

  5. maeby

    Not cool whip cans, fuckin’ keyboard cleaner or gtfo -my 14 year old self.

  6. So the Kabbalah bracelet is supposed to do what again? Not eat and party like a frat boy?

  7. Demi Moore Skinny Divorce
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, not done yet. Needs more hipbones.”

  8. cc

    Whatever happened to the time honoured tradition of drinking and banging random dudes to get over trauma like this?

    Please someone tell me that hasn’t gone out of fashion.

    • pornstar

      if it’s gone out of fashion, then last night I was ‘out of fashion’. My head hurts… I plan to be ‘out of fashion’ again, this weekend, until it becomes fashionable again.

  9. whim

    psst: c’mon Whip it, whim!!!

  10. Evil Dick Tater

    Sounds like she had a normal reaction to a whip-it. I don’t do them anymore because the high is mostly the result of starving your brain of oxygen which seems uh, like a bad idea. Still, if I were Demi I’d murder the “friend” who got the authorities involved.

  11. MarkM

    “But Ashton…ALL the kids are doing them!”

    “Just cut it out, mom, you’re embarrassing me!”

  12. Fish got it right, she acts entirely too much like she’s still young. Time to cut off the hair and cut your losses, lady. Hate to break it to you Demi, but 50 is old enough to be a grandma, honey!

  13. Evil Dick Tater

    Wow, that’s quite the zinger. You even tied it to Mary Kate and Heath Ledger to give it that fresh topical element. I must say, denying your application was Mensa’s loss.

  14. Deacon Jones

    She was doing the canister “whip-its”, with the cracker….they fill up balloons with them, not that canned shit.

    We used to sell them at college partiues all the time, 25 to a case. Bakeries use them for icing cakes.

    You do too much, you turn purple, flop on the floor for 5 seconds, then sit up and everybody laughs. SHe’s fine.

    • mrsmass

      that sucks. i was picturing her like that awful chick from Intervention who was doing the dusters & singing “walking on sunshine.”

  15. Devo: When a younger man dumps a couger
    you must whip it

  16. Demi Moore Skinny Divorce
    Mando
    Commented on this photo:

    /join #Rehab

  17. Is one of the side effects of whip-it induced euphoria a sudden affection for grade-school art projects?

  18. claire rochford

    im a dumbass shemale

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