Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore Are Probably Getting A Divorce

So remember when Demi Moore tweeted a naked picture of her back, and I jokingly insinuated it’s because Ashton Kutcher cheated again? Funny story… Here she is looking gaunt as hell at the premiere of Five on Monday admidst rumors he banged another chick who immediately ran to a lawyer to cash in. On top of that, the two have apparently hit the brakes on their normal amount of insane tweeting and spent their anniversary apart. People reports:

On Sept. 23, Moore shared a quote from Greek philosopher Epictetus, writing, “When we are offended at any man’s fault, turn to yourself & study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger.”
The pair also spent their sixth wedding anniversary – Sept. 24 – apart.
Kutcher arrived in San Diego on Sept. 23 for a weekend of partying with his former That ’70s Show costar Danny Masterson. Among their stops: Fluxx nightclub, where they had a VIP table. The actor also refrained from Tweeting anything on his wedding anniversary.

What I find amazing is that Ashton and Demi study Kabbalah while his best friend Danny Masteron is a Scientologist, yet none of them could solve the age old conundrum of, “New vagina is better than old vagina.” It’s almost as if they’re both fad religions that don’t really do anything, but that can’t be right. Madonna is clearly a better person because of Kabbalah, and John Travolta only doomed one son because Scientology thinks antidepressants steal your space-soul. Had it been three or four, then maybe people should be a little more skeptical. Maybe.

Photos: Splash News