In her defense, I’m sober and it even took me an hour to realize she’s not hugging Snooki.
While filming an episode of Jersey Shore yesterday, Deena Cortese apparently looked down at her script and saw the words, “You’re the one who gets arrested this season,” so here she is horse-hammered drunk before being hauled off the boardwalk by the Seaside Heights police and bailed out by her parents an hour later who I’ll just assume handed her a fifth of Jack because “mortgage payments don’t grow on trees. young lady.” Also, they’re thinking about a pool. RadarOnline reports:
Patrolman Chris Linnel, allegedly spotted her in the middle of a street, slapping cars that were driving by.
“Nothing major, but we can’t put up with it,” Chief Boyd said.
Deena was taken in handcuffs to the Seaside Heights police station where she was served a summons and then released.
I like how the police are trying to downplay the severity of the situation when I happen to have a transcript of the 911 call right here in my hand:
Dispatcher: 911, what’s your emergency?
Caller: “It’s a minotaur with tits! A minotaur with tits is standing in the middle of the street letting cars run into it. They’re not even hurting it!”
Dispatcher: Sir, I need you to calm down. Where is your location?
Caller: “Ohmygod, it saw me! It saw me! No, no, get off my penis. NOOOO-”
[crunching sound]
Dispatcher: Sir? Sir? Are you alright? [pause] Sir?
[loud explosion, several voices screaming in the background]
Unidentified voice: “Our tanks are useless. Repeat. Our tanks are use- OH, GOD, IT’S HUMPING ME!”
[crunching sound]
END CALL
Photo: INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
?????
Has she seriously not learned to lift up her asscheeks when she lays in a tanning bed? That’s taught at Jersey elementary schools the first day in Fake Tanning 101.
would have fun,riding that azz.
bet that can stink up a toilet!
Hahaha, shes having a goood time guys!
at least those other ladies are getting a cheap lul. yuck man.
wanna know how I got these scars?
I’d hit it.
/after a 6-Pack or two
If only one of the cars hit her back. It was totally self defense!
Not pictured – The midget who attacked her with an ice pick.
I don’t know who this bitch is, but she needs to invest in a treadmill if she plans on wearing shorts like that.
Some body should tell Dena to use BROZER on her BOOTY! or heck, how a bout longer shorts???