In her defense, I’m sober and it even took me an hour to realize she’s not hugging Snooki.
While filming an episode of Jersey Shore yesterday, Deena Cortese apparently looked down at her script and saw the words, “You’re the one who gets arrested this season,” so here she is horse-hammered drunk before being hauled off the boardwalk by the Seaside Heights police and bailed out by her parents an hour later who I’ll just assume handed her a fifth of Jack because “mortgage payments don’t grow on trees. young lady.” Also, they’re thinking about a pool. RadarOnline reports:
Patrolman Chris Linnel, allegedly spotted her in the middle of a street, slapping cars that were driving by.
“Nothing major, but we can’t put up with it,” Chief Boyd said.
Deena was taken in handcuffs to the Seaside Heights police station where she was served a summons and then released.
I like how the police are trying to downplay the severity of the situation when I happen to have a transcript of the 911 call right here in my hand:
Dispatcher: 911, what’s your emergency?
Caller: “It’s a minotaur with tits! A minotaur with tits is standing in the middle of the street letting cars run into it. They’re not even hurting it!”
Dispatcher: Sir, I need you to calm down. Where is your location?
Caller: “Ohmygod, it saw me! It saw me! No, no, get off my penis. NOOOO-”
[crunching sound]
Dispatcher: Sir? Sir? Are you alright? [pause] Sir?
[loud explosion, several voices screaming in the background]
Unidentified voice: “Our tanks are useless. Repeat. Our tanks are use- OH, GOD, IT’S HUMPING ME!”
[crunching sound]
END CALL
Photo: INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
She’s actually a lead expert on quantum chromodynamics.
All right, it’s time to poison their herpes medication and get it the hell over with.
The people who watch this shit haven’t gotten bored yet?
Can retarded people get bored? No, that’s a legitimate question.
Good point
Apparently “where the sun don’t shine” take on new meaning in a tanning booth.
My God! My eyes!
She looks like a 60+ year old tranny.
MAKESMOREMONEYTHANYOU!!!
Tell us more about how that means we should want to have her life.
Maybe but I don’t look like a 60+ year old tranny and I still have my soul.
Kid, she also swallows a lot more dirty cum than I ever will.
What’s your point?
“Dad, please drive me home”
Classy! With cigarette clutched in hand.
This chick makes a porn star specializing in DVDA look virginal.
Of course this was going to happen, the idiots just starting shooting the new season. In just a few days they had a fight in a bar and deena acting like snooki.
Next time put her ass in jail for a week and see how funny she thinks it is. MTV and their fake drama upsetting traffic and wasting the police and courts time.
Pretty much how I read into it too. They get arrested for the show. Notice how there is never any follow up news after they get arrested and the episode airs?
Lindsay meth farts in public and she received 3 court dates as punishment.
Did she damage any of the cars with her buttocks or face?
Just tryin’ to get her own spinoff…
Honey Badger don’t give a fuck!
no joke
I’m sorry, but did you say “slapping cars?”. Slapping? Cars? The fuck? And this whole time I’ve been lead to believe this is not a good show!
Led*. Oops.
“Snookiiiii!! I missed yoooouuuuu!”
I guess I should read Fish’s writeup before posting.
“Get the Clorox wipes…no wait…make that the flamethrower.”
Ashamed to be of the same species.
That’s arguable!
NO ONE wants to see YOU DEENA!!! GO AWAY!!!
Feels like it’s officially summer now.
I blame it all on MTV.
Does anyone what the M in MTV stands for? I forget.
Let’s try that again.
Does anyone remember what the M in MTV stands for ?
Apparently it stands for “Moosebutt.”
Letters in cable abbreviations don’t stand for anything anymore. AMC is not American Movie Classics (a lot of it’s not movies, and the movies often aren’t classics), TLC is not The Learning Channel (unless you think Cake Boss and Say Yes to the Dress are educational), and A&E is neither arty nor entertaining. Also, the History Channel has pretty much abandoned history.
Don’t forget Bravo, which may have had perfoming arts programs once, but is now either endless “West Wing” reruns or “The Fake-titted Skank Housewhores of Wherever the Fuck We Are This TIme”
Time to hock the TV and spend the proceeds on vodka.
Bravo stopped rerunning The West Wing two years ago.
*sigh*
I whip my hair back and fo…BLAAARRGHH!
“Ok, wow, that’s actually bigger than what I normally see from the greased up steroid freaks i usually hook up with on an hourly basis”.
They must be so proud.
And suddenly the summer dog-walking gig that Hunter’s mom made him take got interesting.
She definitely gets creative when it comes to cock sucking!
Is it bad that I want to pound that from the backside? Teach her a lesson or two?
It’s bad.
The desire to teach a lesson is understandable, but the type of lesson you’re planning would put you at high risk for STDs.
It’s smiling at me.
slippers, really?
So let me see if I understand this. Deena Cortese gets arrested for slapping cars with her hand, while Lindsay Lohan…
“Oh, JWoww. I think I’ll miss you most of all.”
Yay! A reference I get!
Every now and again, he throws us folks of average intellect a bone.
LOL—literally—you guys.
Awesome.
:/
I believe the technical term for this is “pulling a Lohan”.
Here’s your chance Toni. Bail her out and you can be in gunt slapping heaven by sundown.
I would fuck that!
I don’t care how nasty or crazy that bitch is I’d tap that ass all night.
Balls been slapping her chin like crazy but she can’t slap a few cars?
Wow… the backs of her knees have old woman skin…
exactly what i was gna say! from overtanning? or how old is this thing??
SAD…isn’t it… and she really should have lifted her checks for the spray tan.
cheek’s…opps! My bad.
Fish’s description is fucking classic.
Classy bunch of folks at MTV.
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/11/sdfsdfds-192_188.png[/img]
Remarkable…
I smell a “Parents-of-the-Year” nomina… wait, that’s not what I smell at all.
They must be so proud of their waste of life they call a daughter.
Even as he was about to be mauled by the beast, Danny never spilled a drop of that beer. He knew he’d need it. Either to break over the beast’s head to escape its clutches, or to drink away the tears after.
Thought going through the cop’s mind: “One taser’s not gonna be enough.”
“… Parents just don’t understand…”
She should have been arrested for raping a perfectly innocent baker bunny.
Yeah, I’ll never ever feel like shit about myself ever again. Thanks, Deena!
The waste of life is probably paying the mortgage of her low-life parents.
Police in USA are still arresting people for just being drunk and walking or sitting? A victimless crime?
Looks the same age as her Mom. Not a good thing.
trash