Deena Cortese Gave Us a Parting Gift

August 2nd, 2011 // 182 Comments

Sad news, everybody. The cast of Jersey Shore moved out of the beach house for the last time yesterday leaving a cannoli-shaped hole in our hearts that can only be filled with tanning oil and the clap. Fortunately, Deena Cortese saw fit to bless us one last time with the majestic brown canyon she calls an ass crack. (Fun Fact: That used to be a beach umbrella. Not a thong.) Also, Snooki wore a giant rabbit mask over her head the whole time which I’m sure is related somehow. “So at least half a pickle’s up there? I’m in.”

Adding… What you’re trying to think of right now is Station from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. Deena and Snooki are Station. I defy you to think of them otherwise from here on out.

Photo: INFdaily, Splash News

superficial

  1. Deena Cortese Upskirt Butt Jersey Shore
    bassackward
    Commented on this photo:

    As the sun glistens off the cellulite rolls….you can hear the stairs creeeeeeek!

  2. terry

    I hate that show, guidos don’t associate with any race outside their insular Italian world but I’d smash that bitches ass like a motherfucker!

  3. Deena Cortese Upskirt Butt Jersey Shore
    Snack pack
    Commented on this photo:

    Blurry DJ in the background saying it all with the disgusted look on his face.

  4. Nick

    omg! her fart just blew off her skirt .

  5. Crusty Drawers

    Why is it that guidos are so obsessed with spending their lives in the gym and injecting steroids, but the guidettes are so damn fat?

  6. Deena Cortese Upskirt Butt Jersey Shore
    Commented on this photo:

    On the exclusion list for Aroma-Scope.

  7. Billy Rubin

    Can I request that we get it spayed?

  8. gumption

    If ANY of you bitches, female ones, call this pic gross, ugly, weird or any negative term, it is because you are so jealous and can’t handle someone being prettier than you. I’m talking to you @haha and @jealous bitches. Oh, and if you are male and say you wouldn’t do her then you are a “homo”.

    • kimmykimkim

      Gumption, the fuck is wrong with you? I’d put money on the fact that every single girl commenting on this is infinitely better looking than this Deena bitch. She’s has man-face for fucks sake. And drunk bitch bloat as well. There is nothing to be jealous of.

      • You know, she is on television BECAUSE she’s an awful mess. If she were attractive or had any class she wouldn’t be on this show. The whole point is to chronicle someone that’s self indulgent, ugly, and dumb, and yet somehow at the same time completely devoid of self-consciousness or shame. The entertainment is in the derision.

        But that appears to have been totally lost on you…which means you could probably get on a show like this. Congrats.

      • uh, it is called sarcasm…I was making a point regarding the fact that if a pic of a woman is up and you call out plastic surgery or pick on their appearance because this site is called the SUPERFICIAL, the women come back and say “you are jealous”, both “haha” and “jealous” write a lot of comments like that. And if a guy doesnt think a girl is pretty then he is called “homo”. Geez, do I have to spell it out for you? Yeah, I did…

    • Blech

      gumption is Deena’s mom.

      So we should settle, then, for biscuits wrapped in grease?

  9. Deena Cortese Upskirt Butt Jersey Shore
    kingofbeer
    Commented on this photo:

    site feature request – way to hide Jersey shore posts. -Thank you

  10. Snooki Rabbit Head Jersey Shore
    gumption
    Commented on this photo:

    looking good Snooks

  11. Scott

    The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin’
    That’s what I said
    The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
    Or so I have read

    My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
    I’d like to sink her with my pink torpedo

    Big bottom, big bottom
    Talk about bum cakes, my girl’s got ‘em
    Big bottom drive me out of my mind
    How could I leave this behind?

    I met her on Monday, ’twas my lucky bun day
    You know what I mean
    I love her each weekday, each velvety cheek day
    You know what I mean

    My love gun’s loaded and she’s in my sights
    Big game is waiting there inside her tights, yeah

    Big bottom, big bottom
    Talk about mud flaps, my girl’s got ‘em
    Big bottom drive me out of my mind
    How could I leave this behind?

    My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
    I’d like to sink her with my pink torpedo

    Big bottom, big bottom
    Talk about bum cakes, my girl’s got ‘em
    Big bottom drive me out of my mind
    How could I leave this behind?

  12. Deena Cortese Upskirt Butt Jersey Shore
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    I suddenly have a craving for ham.

  13. dork

    Somebody died and went to hell and came back as that g-string.

  14. Snooki Rabbit Head Jersey Shore
    FamousPlastic.com
    Commented on this photo:

    MTV paid Snooki to wear that mask in hopes that she would fall down the stairs to her hilarious death. Finally a Jersey Shore episode worth watching!

  15. PoorMaryKelly

    That reminds me. I’m taking the kids to the zoo this weekend.

  16. Deena Cortese Upskirt Butt Jersey Shore
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    Even her clothes don’t want to touch that ass.

  17. MarkinCA

    I’d hit it…

  18. TaT

    Great! I have to friggin buy another blanket now, puked all over mine when I saw fat midget ass. These girls actually think they’re hot. At least Snooki has a sort of cute face. Jwow looks like a friggin meth addict. The only decent one is Sammi.

  19. Station Bill Ted Bogus Journey Deena Snooki Jersey Shore
    Richard Cranium
    Commented on this photo:

    Excellent!!!

  20. Deena Cortese Upskirt Butt Jersey Shore
    TaT
    Commented on this photo:

    ROFL!!

  21. Mohammed 's taint

    Bent over a chair – probably a very mountable ass. Walking up stairs – not a good sight.

  22. Deena Cortese Upskirt Butt Jersey Shore
    Commented on this photo:

    Really, you look great. Come on in and meet my parents.

  23. haha station!

  24. Snooki Rabbit Head Jersey Shore
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    Bob Hoskins stars as Snooki in the summer’s surprise blockbuster: Who Hasn’t Fucked Snooki Rabbit?

  25. Deena Cortese Upskirt Butt Jersey Shore
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    She might be from Jersey, but that’s a textbook case of Delaware ass. Takes at least an hour to get from one side to the other.

  26. Angus

    This bitch looks exactly the same coming and going. How do you develop tits on your back?

  27. Deena Cortese Upskirt Butt Jersey Shore
    Ouch!!
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally!

  28. hahhap

    a wild snorlax appeared

  29. my God...

    Fish, was it really necessary to subject us all to this. Here we come to you looking for some much needed relief from work related bordom, and you subject us to this. This was completly uncalled for, and none of us here appreciate it one iota.

  30. kimmykimkim

    I’m beginning to think she’s doing this on purpose. That skirt is probably tucked into that thong. That nasty, pitiful thong.

  31. Snooki Rabbit Head Jersey Shore
    Commented on this photo:

    This just in: Furries everywhere abandon their fetish. Said one furry, who wished to remain anonymous, “At this point I think I’d rather fuck a real live Guinea pig than stick my dick in someone wearing soft, oh-so supple rabbit costume.”

    In related news pet stores across the nation are now reporting a shortage of Guinea pigs.

  32. How many asses does she have?

  33. Joe Blow

    Those shoes she’s shod with on her hooves must be made out of the strongest substance known to mankind.

  34. Problem?

    I have far from a perfect ass, but….jesus.

  35. Joe Blow

    Look at those poor panties… eaten by her ass. I guess crack really does kill.

  36. Between Deena, Snookie, and the Kardashian sisters, we can end Africa’s famine by sending them all over there to feast off their cottage cheese ass.

    • Joe Blow

      Won’t work.

      If Ebola can leave Africa and be anywhere in the world in a matter of days, it’d be easy enough, even for skanks with low IQs such as these, to do the same.

      They’d escape and come back.

  37. Snooki Rabbit Head Jersey Shore
    michael
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that cocaine on the bunnys nose?

  38. Snooki Rabbit Head Jersey Shore
    nuttebutter
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought Donnie Darko killed that thing?

  39. Snooki Rabbit Head Jersey Shore
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Funny…when you show someone from behind on this site, there’s always someone who says, “Oh, that could be anybody.” Yet I notice that no one here has asked you to prove that this is Snooki.

  40. Deena Cortese Upskirt Butt Jersey Shore
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently, her fart was powerful enough to do more than just blow her skirt up.

  41. Deena Cortese Upskirt Butt Jersey Shore
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, no one told me we were starting the good-bye blowjobs already!”

  42. Deena Cortese Upskirt Butt Jersey Shore
    Blech
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like… not even an ass.

    It’s like… a burnt omelette made of human skin. I bet there’s cheese and rotten spinach beneath those folds.

    UUUUGGGHHH.

  43. Station Bill Ted Bogus Journey Deena Snooki Jersey Shore
    Blech
    Commented on this photo:

    I just laughed so hard at these guys, I made my eyes well up.

  44. Cartman

    I don’t think I could get drunk enough to fuck that. And if I did I would pray I got whisky dick before I got herpes from that thing.

    Seriously, this chick is giving me the gay.

  45. Station Bill Ted Bogus Journey Deena Snooki Jersey Shore
    Samantha
    Commented on this photo:

    give it ten years… you’ll be using stills from the dark crystal

    i cant believe you managed to outdo yourself after “majestic brown canyon”… well played sir.. well played **starts slow clap**

  46. seals

    Come ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  47. Deena Cortese Upskirt Butt Jersey Shore
    Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    HAHAHAHAHA

  48. Station Bill Ted Bogus Journey Deena Snooki Jersey Shore
    Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    that’s so funny! THANK YOU!

  49. Deena Cortese Upskirt Butt Jersey Shore
    footballisus
    Commented on this photo:

    You know she”s got a thong song thats just full of shit!

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