Sad news, everybody. The cast of Jersey Shore moved out of the beach house for the last time yesterday leaving a cannoli-shaped hole in our hearts that can only be filled with tanning oil and the clap. Fortunately, Deena Cortese saw fit to bless us one last time with the majestic brown canyon she calls an ass crack. (Fun Fact: That used to be a beach umbrella. Not a thong.) Also, Snooki wore a giant rabbit mask over her head the whole time which I’m sure is related somehow. “So at least half a pickle’s up there? I’m in.”
Adding… What you’re trying to think of right now is Station from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. Deena and Snooki are Station. I defy you to think of them otherwise from here on out.