Apparently This Day Can Get Sexier

July 14th, 2011 // 162 Comments

You know what I admire most about the creators of Jersey Shore? They dared to look at Snooki and say, “What if we had two drunk, slutty Ewoks?” And yet no Emmy nom. God, I hate this country.

Photo: Splash News

superficial

  1. God is Black

    Ewoks eat pizza?

  2. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    Commented on this photo:

    The kid laughing in the background about sums it up perfectly. It’s like a monkey fucking a football in how they decide what to wear.

  3. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    Kinny
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s with the tampon string in photo 8?

    • Fletch

      That’s the jeans fraying. Apparently, you have never cut the legs off of a pair of jeans to use as shorts.

  4. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    Kinny
    Commented on this photo:

    And I just noticed Crotch-gobbler in the background.. Holy smokes, this picture is full of fail.

  5. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    BSting
    Commented on this photo:

    Chupacabra! I yield!!

  6. Snooki's Taint

    Come to mamma. That’s it, eat the taint.

  7. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    Commented on this photo:

    Imagine the horror of Deena approaching your all-you-can-eat buffet.

  8. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    Commented on this photo:

    How many times was the phrase, “I think the fat one is Snooki” uttered today?

  9. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    Commented on this photo:

    “Folks, stand clear of the vapor trail.”

  10. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    FamousPlastic.com
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t stand Jwowws stomach. The liposuction is so obvious and her belly button looks weird. Just do some sit-ups already

  11. Snack pack

    In every picture . . . guy named Paco serving fried food . . . wishing he called in sick today.

  12. Those yard gnomes sure are ugly.

  13. Dirk Digler

    Emmy nom?

  14. Chewbacca and Kathy Bates procreated this bastard child?

  15. Deacon Jones

    Call me a pig, but I think J-wow looks hot. The sluttier the outfit, the better.

    If I want to jerk off to Ms. Susie Homemaker, I’ll drive to the grocery store and watch some miserable housewife decide which jar of pickles to buy while her rugrat wails like a siren in the shopping cart.

    • Fletch

      DJ, I hate to say it but I have to reluctantly agree.

      • I say j-woww is not hot. Her tits were purchased on discount and her face looks like she fell out of her trailer and subsequently got run over by it, again and again. Bitch can’t even afford a decent grade wig/weave or whatever the hell is attached to her ugly head. The only pretty one is that Sammi character, who evidently paid premium for her rack.

    • Venom

      No one has ever said J-Woww does not look hot.
      It is the two little trolls there that are the problem.
      J-Woww is highly fuckable.
      The rest of the cast can get hit by a Mack truck and I could care less.

    • well if i call you a pig then i have to call myself a pig as well. i would so wreck her it is not funny.

    • Dani

      Pig.
      = 0

  16. Dan

    I really thought that was Snooki from behind. That is crazy.

    JWow looks nice but trashy as always.

  17. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    Amir
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone please explain the attraction to these women… i really don’t get it.

  18. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    MisterSuccint
    Commented on this photo:

    Underboob is (usually) fine.
    Underbuttock here is not.

  19. DOucHe BaGELs

    Where’s Dexter when you need him!

  20. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d better roll up the bottoms of these sweet ass cut-off shorts half an inch. Ah perfect.

  21. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    ptGunz
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this what an adult Snooki looks like?

  22. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    How do the short one’s inner thighs not burst into flames when she walks? Does she carry her own fire supression system? I see no bottle of beer here.

  23. General Disarray

    The wookies around here are getting SO trashy.

  24. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, all i can see in every picture is that missed belt loop.

  25. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    DOucHe BaGELs
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF AM I LOOKING AT HERE!!?? Rememeber when they used to burn women because they suspected them of being witches, well that wasn’t such a bad idea…..

  26. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    DOucHe BaGELs
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s adjusting the eight tampon strings she has hanging out her shorts.

  27. gooch

    Wow, Dan Cortese certainly let himself go. Wait… who’s Deena?

  28. whit

    her ass and thighs are surprisingly free of cellulite. i am surprised.

    • I took note of the oddity myself. I guess she was thrown a bone by the gods for all the crimes they committed when structuring her heinous figure.

  29. scott

    that is the grossest ass ever, short women always have gross asses 90 percent of the time, sorry…wow, yeah that fricken distgusting…

  30. bonnieux

    Why dear god? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

  31. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    Melanie
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like she just walked off the set of “Clueless” …for more than one reason.

  32. Fletch

    OK, put up a new post already. I’m so sick of coming back here seeing that disgusting pig’s ass on my screen.

  33. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    Fundamentals of roughing
    Commented on this photo:

    I feel sorry for evil doers in the seaside area.

  34. miles

    it’s ookla the mok!
    seriously though, i’d totally fuck her, i’d totally fuck snooki too. you guys are haters. at least they are like 22. when you’re fucking a chunky 22 year old it looks a lot different than fucking a fucking less chunky 32 year old. i’d go for the younger girl anyday… unless the older one takes it in the ass. i could be turning into a black man as i type this.

    • Obvious Troll

      +1 for the honesty. (and you’re right).

    • BE

      Comments that are almost always made by guys who can’t any women to look at them – much less a 32 year old or 22 year old.

      The thing about the older gals – immune to how y’all roll…that is, no longer young and dumb.

    • BE

      And FYI dope – If those “girls” are a day under 29, I’m Demi Moore! The biggest clue – Britney Spears called and wants her wardrobe from the 90′s back. If they’re not at least in they’re mid 30′s then they’ve both seen more miles than a Michelin tire…

      • miles

        sorry i offended you and your grey hair. btw, kudos on at least one correct use of “they’re,” the second should have read “their mid 30′s.” it took me a minute to make sure i was right, and i am. kisses!

      • twat

        Have fun with the 20 somethings – the 30 somethings know how to use their shit.

      • BE

        No offense. Just being the master of the obvious. I realized a long time ago men seem to have an extra bone that makes them think they are highly attractive to every woman. This revelation came after working with a guy who was sincerely upset that his favorite model had gotten married. Because THAT is supposedly what would ruin his chances with her!!! And I’m being kind about looks, height and attitude. But, who knows, huh? See, when I describe HIM —> “What a tool! Right?”

        Of course, we women all love how the older guys (often sporting man boobs and looking seven months pregnant are such authorities on the “young stuff.” Especially since Viagra. Y’all aim really high (or pay for it).

        As for grammar and spelling, physician heal thy self. I think much faster than I type, hence the dropped word (that you missed in your proof reading). But I won’t subject readers to some lame spelling and grammar lesson just because I need to find any come back like you did.

        And FYI my “gray hair” is with twat below – please feel free to spend all your money, time and energy on 20 somethings that don’t really enjoy sex yet or have a clue as to what their doing. Viagra won’t fix that. But it saves us a lot of time in weeding you out while you condemn yourself to a very mediocre sex life.

        That’s a win, win by some accounting…

      • miles

        hey BE! i think we are the only ones still looking at this. anyway, i could argue with some of the things you said, but i won’t. i’m in the wrong. i first posted because i got sick of everybody saying how gross those girls were. and they might not have great personalities but they aren’t ugly. and for the record, i like thicker women. i also think there is a double standard, chubby dudes call those women “fat” and they aren’t. but i got carried away and brought age into it… so i became a hater. and i’m not.
        btw, in my second retort i’m fairly sure i didn’t omit any words or have any grammatical errors.

      • BE

        Hey Miles- Hey this made it over to “So Freakin’ Hot” – people seem to love a good go round..

        And no problem, it’s not exactly keeping me up nights.

        As for my sad character output – I apologize to those who have to decode my poorly spun out grammar and spelling. I flip between computers/keyboards and since I don’t code anymore, it’s definitely degenerated into mess especially since I’ve been sleep deprived lately.

        I just do what everyone else does. Log on and throw my opinion out.

        Peace…

      • Bee Bee

        This site needs more fat ass dudes to scrutinize it’s always the women. Why can fat ugly guys get away from criticism so much?

  35. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    stratacat
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t even know where to begin.

  36. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d make her lick my ass

  37. Must be a hot day. Her ass cream cone is melting.

  38. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    Fundamentals of roughing
    Commented on this photo:

    Peter Linkage has got to beat the enforcer in height, couldn’t he?

  39. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    holy crap
    Commented on this photo:

    Motherfker…that face, oh God, that face!

  40. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    YeahYeah
    Commented on this photo:

    Why are they wearing those boots? Its hot as fuck out in Jersey right now.

  41. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    bday55
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m the fat kid in the green shirt

  42. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d hit it. First with a stick, but then sexually.

  43. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    rican
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s accommodating her dick

  44. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    grobpilot
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m suprised that’s not “the Shocker” on the front of that shirt

  45. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    Ono
    Commented on this photo:

    JWoww: “Why does my finger smell like fish and Vagisil?”
    Deena: “Don’t worry about it.”

  46. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    Mandi
    Commented on this photo:

    I know she’s a total mess ALL OVER, but can we seriously talk about her makeup for a second? WTF.

    • Gary

      “What’s wrong with it? It’s look fookin’ GREAT!” says only people that live in New Jersey.

      • Disgusting

        Hey Im from Jersey you assclown…don’t lump me in with these heteromorphic freaks of nature. Freakin miscreants should be locked up in a cage and fed raw meat like the creatures they are.

  47. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    grazer
    Commented on this photo:

    gah there be some ugly slappers.

  48. In order to appear taller she used live badgers as to add a good 8 inches. Sadly, it resulted in a loss of 8 inches from her “shorts”.
    In other news 12 children were hospitalized with retinal scarring, 4 others went to a Ranger’s stadium for their demise.

  49. cc

    The live action version of troll dolls. As offputting as you expected.

  50. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese Butt Cheeks JWoww
    McMama
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn flare ups.

Leave A Comment