Debby Ryan Is Your New Selena Gomez

January 9th, 2014 // 24 Comments
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In 2013, Selena Gomez made it to two Best Of posts and was the runner-up for two more after that. But then just like Anne Hathaway, something terrible happened. She got back together with Justin Bieber, and even worse, I sat through Getaway. So here’s Debby Ryan who possesses almost everything you guys love about Selena: A squeaky clean Disney star with great breasts who’s perfectly legal yet looks like she’s 12. (Did I do that right?) And, frankly, the Internet should have been all over Debby way before this post. Sometimes I feel like you guys don’t even want to pee in butts anymore.

Okay, that was uncalled for. I didn’t mean that, I’m sorry. Gimme a hug.

Photos: FameFlynet


  1. brick

    Somehow I don’t think she’d look quite as good naked.

  2. Do we need a new Selena Gomez? I never liked the old one.

  3. Arlmlo Schlongfooster

    This broad is no Dora the Explorer

  4. Deacon Jones

    My penis just inflated like an inflatable mattress.

    Sound FXs and everything

  5. alex

    Seriously guys? This is sexy? She looks like a cartoon.

  6. fapper


  7. Debby Ryan Cleavage
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s not fair to compare her to Selena Gomez, unless she’s banging a pretentious douche bag with bad tattoos.

  8. You forgot to add redhead, which is always good for an extra point on the hotness scale.

  9. Mohawk Disco

    Looks like the reboot plague currently spreading in Hollywood finally reached the Superficial. But we don’t need another Selena. Fish should know by now we don’t like reboots or remakes. We are simple folk. Don’t confuse us. Just give us fresh new titties and douchbag jokes and we’ll be happy.

  10. Jack's Bauer

    I resent the implication that all that can get me off is a squeaky clean Disney star with great breasts who’s legal but looks 12. I don’t care if she has a squeaky clean image.

    (For the record I never liked Selena BECAUSE she looked 12. And not because her body guard pepper sprayed me climbing over her fence.)

  11. I want to jizz my initials on her forehead.

  12. Debby Ryan Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    She is pretty cute. The internet will tear her apart.

  13. Debby Ryan Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    High maintenance. Calling it now.

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