David Letterman stuck his penis in things. Also, something about extortion.

David Letterman candidly revealed on his show last night that he was involved in a sting operation to stop a $2 million blackmail/extortion plot revolving around affairs he had with staffers, according to PopEater:

“In the back seat of my car, there’s a package that I don’t recognize. What this is is a guy is going to write a screenplay about me and he’s going to take all the terrible stuff that he knows about my life and he’s going to put it into a movie unless I give him some money,” Letterman explained to the audience.
“Now of course we get to what is it. What was all the creepy stuff that he was going to put into the screenplay and the movie, and the creepy stuff that I had … sex with women who work for me on the show. Now, my response to that is yes, I have,” he continued.

CBS has confirmed the extortionist was a former 48 Hours producer Joe Halderman who RadarOnline reports lived with one of the staffers Letterman had sex with:

The affair happened a long time ago, before his son Harry was born, and before he got married, but he was living with his wife to be at the time.
Halderman needed money police say and decided to target Letterman.
The woman still works on the show but is no longer involved with David.

You know what the worst part about this whole ordeal is? I keep envisioning Paul Shaffer standing there with a keyboard during each romantic interlude:

And that’s Dave coming, that’s Dave coming, that’s Daaaaaaaave coming.
Now go call a cab. Doo waa!

Photo: WENN