David Letterman stuck his penis in things. Also, something about extortion.

October 2nd, 2009 // 73 Comments

David Letterman candidly revealed on his show last night that he was involved in a sting operation to stop a $2 million blackmail/extortion plot revolving around affairs he had with staffers, according to PopEater:

“In the back seat of my car, there’s a package that I don’t recognize. What this is is a guy is going to write a screenplay about me and he’s going to take all the terrible stuff that he knows about my life and he’s going to put it into a movie unless I give him some money,” Letterman explained to the audience.
“Now of course we get to what is it. What was all the creepy stuff that he was going to put into the screenplay and the movie, and the creepy stuff that I had … sex with women who work for me on the show. Now, my response to that is yes, I have,” he continued.

CBS has confirmed the extortionist was a former 48 Hours producer Joe Halderman who RadarOnline reports lived with one of the staffers Letterman had sex with:

The affair happened a long time ago, before his son Harry was born, and before he got married, but he was living with his wife to be at the time.
Halderman needed money police say and decided to target Letterman.
The woman still works on the show but is no longer involved with David.

You know what the worst part about this whole ordeal is? I keep envisioning Paul Shaffer standing there with a keyboard during each romantic interlude:

And that’s Dave coming, that’s Dave coming, that’s Daaaaaaaave coming.
Now go call a cab. Doo waa!

Photo: WENN

  1. yo bub


  2. BoBo

    World Wide Pants

  3. KC

    Dave can now recycle all of his Clinton jokes on himself.

  4. KIKI

    Why is this a big deal? Of course he screws around, he is in the entertainment industry right? Who cares! He is not a polition like Palin.

  5. roman polanski

    Great show host, for most of his run, but his personal life is a mess. You don’t diddle the staff. Creepy.

  6. The Rough report

    Ill bet Jay Leno, beat him by a mile in that department too…

    Funny how the American audience get squeamish when in sex is mention…in public of course!

  7. havoc

    Must have needed a ratings boost.

    The guy had already been arrested. Why bring this shit out into the open?

    See ratings boost.


  8. dubba

    hes a more awesome guy now than ever for manning up to it in this way

    dave’s got my respect

  9. yan

    @7 because it was going to be leaked when they guy got out of jail like 3 hours later and lettermasn beat him to the punch to remove any satisfaction

    dave is a class act

  10. Weird reactions from the crowd.

    And did anyone else get a Vaseline commercial before the clip? Awk-ward.

  11. dogface

    This confirms my opinion of him…. He’s a dick!!

  12. dogface

    This confirms my opinion of him…. He’s a dick!!

  13. Polk

    You don’t diddle the staff, #5? I understand the policy reasn for this, but c’mon. People spend 8 hours a day plus with other in the office. Right now, have you co-workers are powing each other, or have in the past. It’s reality. Sex flows through the workplace like the Mississipi river flows through the Heartland. Don’t begrudge him a bit.

  14. bill

    After he said “why yes I did have sex with staffers” he should have then shown pictures of him with Paul, Biff, and the late great Larry Bud Melman. But really who cares? Like it’s a surprise that an unmarried man with lots of power and dough has sex with women. BFD. And as for the poster that “you don’t have sex with the staff”. I’ve never worked anywhere where people didn’t have sex with each other. Sometimes the relationships work out to loving marriages. Sometimes it’s a quickie on top of the copy machine. Either way, who cares?

  15. Oliver Chester The Molester Lester

    It was consensual. I think he did the right thing by speaking about it. Comedians/Talk Show Hosts shouldn’t be held to a higher standard so I don’t see what the fuss was.

  16. Kanye "Toolboy" West

    “Yo Dave, I’m really happy for you…Imma let you finish with dat bitch too. But South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford had one of the affairs of all time! One of the affairs of all time!”

  17. sarah

    dave letterman is an aaaaaaasssshole!! everyones known it forever, but at least he didn’t seem like the typical hollywood douchebag, kinda sorta. surprise! turns out he’s just as sleazy as all the people he makes fun of. so dave you’re a judgmental prick and also a slimeball? when i’m famous, i’m never going on your show!!!

  18. Angus Parvo

    The big question: How did someone get a package into Letterman’s car? Dave’s a psycho magnet. He had that crazy stalker bitch breaking into his house for years, some crazy tried to kidnap his kid in Montana, so I’ve got to think he’s got some kind of security that goes beyond a $12 car alarm he picked up at a flea market one weekend. How did the package get in there?

  19. dude_on

    He is definitely a dick but screwing the help doesn’t factor into that equation. If the lesser of our society do not submit to the desires of those who wield the power really …. where are we as a society?

  20. No I'm not like that

    He was living with his girlfriend of 23 years. I bet she cares. Apparently at least this one woman he slept with was also in a relationship with someone at the time. I bet he cares.

  21. Madalyn

    Dave Letterman is immoral. He is also a hipocrite. He has no class, and he is also a liar.

  22. RipOne

    Okay, so he was poking some of the lady staff. Lots of people do it–he just got caught. Move on.

  23. Max Weinberg

    I’d fuck him.

  24. AnonWhatever

    Who cares? If I were in his position, I would do the same thing. Who wouldn’t use their status to get women?

  25. mo

    The audience just cracking up is so retarded. “Someone tried to extort me and I had affairs with multiple women who work for me in a highly inappropriate way.” AHAHAHAH! So glad we didn’t go to see Leno now!

  26. ®usty

    I wonder if he banged howard stern’s wife as she used to work on the show… maybe that’s why she’s in cali now to give leno a chance at bangin’ her out.

  27. christopher's girl

    This too…is Obama’s fault

  28. quake

    I’m just glad to hear he gets laid.

  29. wtf

    Hello, Mr Kettle?
    Sir, it’s the Pot on line 2, he says he needs to speak with you.

  30. Dude Love

    I’m sleeping with someone at my workplace…

  31. blp

    Paul Shaffer looks like a de-shelled tortoise.

  32. Killboybands

    @4 KIKI: Polition? LMAO!!!!!!!!! Spelling FAIL! EPIC! CLASSIC!

    Way to go Dave! I wonder if he talked them into sex by reading them a “Why you should bang me instead of Leno” Top Ten List.

  33. KIKI

    @ 32 Killboybands~ EPIC FAIL is a something only retards and 12 year olds say. Go stick your head up Palins twat. EPIC!

  34. Killboybands

    Did you have to use spell check to write that comment or did you call your local polition? LMAO!

    My head up Palin’s twat…. I’ll consider it.

  35. Dar

    You go, Dave! You smarmy, hypocritical asshole!

  36. KIKI

    @34 I’ll bet you would, that is why you are being derisive in the first place. LMAO is another overplayed thing to say gramps. Get a clue asshat.

  37. Ben Dover

    Ha! Hope he caught an STD or two, what an NE elitist prick! Take your money & go away…

  38. Larry Budd

    God bless Dave. He acts/talks like a human being. He and Carson were the last ones. He will be missed.

  39. Tanzarian

    I’m glad he kicked the blackmailer in the balls by announcing it. I don’t care if you banged the staff, just don’t try to pretend you didn’t – or be ashamed of it. Good for Dave.

  40. Letterman is even more awesome now.

  41. jeremiah

    Someone fucked letterman? Seriously? WOW wonders never cease

  42. AtomicCoffee

    I hope Letterman had the decency to give the underlings some champagne and Quaaludes before making tender old-guy love to them. Nonetheless, I’m sure it was a good career move for the Late Night hos he banged!

    It’s a man’s World(wide Pants), BABY!

  43. Good for Dave. Pop that pussy.

  44. farty mcshitface

    letterman is pure garbage. never was funny- not even by accident.
    he was always a smug, far-left limosine liberal. i wish he would get fired but i don’t really care because i never watch his show anyway.
    now he is just some crotchety old man who is known for screwing around on his wife. i hope she divorces his crappy old ass and gets half of everything.
    i bet he was also getting cornholed by some of the fags who worked on the show and gave him a staff of their own!
    fuck you letterman!!!

  45. cc

    What farty mcshitface said. x2

    I hope his wife kicks his smug, hyprocritical ass to the curb. And cleans out his fucking bank account.

  46. Rhialto

    I’ve seen guys doing this worse.He still could run for president.

  47. mj

    Letteman is such a bore. I definitely recommend him in lieu of Ambien.

  48. Darth

    He should have paid the guy in cash with Monopoly money.Just for the fun and to see his facial expression.

  49. alex

    What a class act! Cheating on your girlfriend of many years with people who work under you. I just can’t wait for the “will it float” segment!

  50. Turd the third

    I guess this scandle gives new meaning to “she is going to be ON Letterman tonight”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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