David Letterman harasses the mentally insane

dletterman_restraining.jpgDavid Letterman is trying to get his lawyers to remove a restraining order made against him by a Santa Fe woman who claims “the CBS late-night host used code words to show he wanted to marry her and train her as his co-host.”

A state judge granted a temporary restraining order to Colleen Nestler, who alleged in a request filed last Thursday that Letterman has forced her to go bankrupt and caused her “mental cruelty” and “sleep deprivation” since May 1994.

Nestler’s application for a restraining order was accompanied by a six-page typed letter in which she said Letterman used code words, gestures and “eye expressions” to convey his desires for her.

She wrote that she began sending Letterman “thoughts of love” after his “Late Show” began in 1993, and that he responded in code words and gestures, asking her to come East.

She said he asked her to be his wife during a televised “teaser” for his show by saying, “Marry me, Oprah.” Her letter said Oprah was the first of many code names for her and that the coded vocabulary increased and changed with time.

I don’t know what it takes to become a judge in Santa Fe, but apparently a brain isn’t one of the requirements. There’s no other explanation for how the restraining got approved in the first place, since the odds of David Letterman sending secret coded messages to an insane woman in Santa Fe are about as likely as me not having sex tonight with a half dozen supermodels. In other words, not very.