Here’s an image from what is apparently an ad campaign in Australia. It looks like the Hoff is about to get raped by a giant Pepsi bottle. And he’s decided to sing about it. I don’t know what in god’s name he’s doing with the microphone stand, but the bottle sure seems to enjoy it. If that doesn’t make you thirsty, nothing will.
Thanks to Andrew for the tip.
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Binky | February 10, 2006 at 10:28 am
Judging from his vids and singing career – it’s probably ok if he’s off the coke.
tofts | February 10, 2006 at 10:30 am
Shouldn’t he be facing the other way for his “big surprise”?
Go Sip | February 10, 2006 at 10:33 am
The HOFF, what do you mean what is he doing with the microphone? He is making hot HOFF love to that thing. This guy never ceases to amaze me. Why doesn’t he just come out and say, “I miss being Knight Rider” “I miss Kit”, we all know he still pines for the days when he had the most fierce crime fighting car. He was like Hutch without Starsky and now he is mounting an oversized pepsi bottle as it comes out of the floor. What happened? Wheres Kit?
Meh Toole | February 10, 2006 at 10:39 am
Raped by a giant Pepsi bottle…
Classic.
Spindoc | February 10, 2006 at 10:43 am
The Large Pepsi bottle is supposed to be a symbolic penis. It’s supposed to make you think of sex….sex with Dave Hasslehoff, with his big bottle, which the advertisers what you to think he has….yes, a big bottle, and he knows how to use that big bottle. Or, I guess he could be coming out of the closet and admitting that he likes giant Pepsi bottles up his ass…which reminds me of a funny story a nurse who works in an emergency room once told me…
playahater101 | February 10, 2006 at 10:48 am
You just gotta love David Hasselhoff for just being David Hasselhoff and giving us reason to laugh. Has anyone else noticed that he never ages? I swear he looks the same as he did in Knight Rider
Fatty Boom-Batty | February 10, 2006 at 10:49 am
Are you guys sure this is a Pepsi ad? Because from now on I am drinking Coke. This is the perfect smear campaign…I have an idea Gary Busey making love to Jiffy peanut-butter, from now on everyone will buy Peter-Pan and not just because he is a man-child.
Fatty Boom-Batty | February 10, 2006 at 10:51 am
Clarification: Peter-Pan is the man-child, not David Hasselhoff…wait a second, or is he…?
Fatty Boom-Batty | February 10, 2006 at 10:52 am
Oops, I mean Gary Busey…or do I?
God damn alcohol, and it’s effects on the short-term memory.
Shaun | February 10, 2006 at 11:00 am
That guy looks like he is getting ready to deep throat the microphone. What a disturbing image.
hermanita | February 10, 2006 at 11:03 am
Oh wow. I don’t even wanna think about how enlarged his anus must be…but I am…I mean…hey is that shit on the wall? -__-
ribbit25 | February 10, 2006 at 11:06 am
Looks like the pepsi bottle is a premature ejaculator
hermanita | February 10, 2006 at 11:06 am
“10. Posted by Shaun on February 10, 2006 11:00 AM
That guy looks like he is getting ready to deep throat the microphone. What a disturbing image.”
You shouldn’t have pointed that out. I will have nightmares about him again tonight.
bjpack | February 10, 2006 at 11:09 am
I just wonder, before the giant Pepsi bottle exploded out of the ground, why was he singing in a giant bathroom?
Coolguy7711 | February 10, 2006 at 11:16 am
Elvis called….he wants his concert suit back……..
playahater101 | February 10, 2006 at 11:19 am
#11, that DOES look like shit on the wall. That is way too funny. Is this an add for pepsi or a porn gone bad? REALLY bad. Looks like Knight Rider is taking it from both ends.
LaydeeBug | February 10, 2006 at 11:25 am
Isn’t he supposed to be in jail or something? I miss Knight Rider.
LaydeeBug | February 10, 2006 at 11:28 am
Anyone who appears in a SpongeBob movie is A-OK with me. He does look good though. Never had any complaints about him, he always took care of my “ahem” needs. Call me, Davie.
Tracy | February 10, 2006 at 11:34 am
It looks like he’s crackin’ open that big ol’ Pepsi bottle with his microphone. What a stud!
Chris'sMom | February 10, 2006 at 11:43 am
You see, this is exactly why his wife finally divorced him. She couldn’t take being second place to Pepsi bottles and various other inanimate objects. A woman…she could deal with, a man…maybe. But not the Pepsi bottle.
Also, if you look at his leg/butt he is the envy of every anorexic teenage girl in America.
spammy | February 10, 2006 at 11:53 am
why is he doing an ad? who’ll go “oh my god if it’s good enough for david hasslehoff to drink then it’s good enough for me!”, who gives a damn? he can drink billy zane’s piss in the morning for all i care…
dusk_phoenix | February 10, 2006 at 12:12 pm
*Low whistle*
Far too much thought into where the bottle and microphone are going! >_<
dosita | February 10, 2006 at 12:31 pm
Thank you, Dave. That was the cherry on the cake of my day.
PapaHotNuts | February 10, 2006 at 12:42 pm
You bunch of jealous losers. This cat is the coolest mother fucker since Shaft. If given the chance, I would dry hump his leg until my penis rubbed through my jeans. Are you forgetting Baywatch? That patch of man-hair on his golden brown skin, the way he carried his “flotation device”, otherwise known as his dick. You keep rockin’ Dave, and I’ll keep finger-bangin’ this Pepsi bottle.
rachel | February 10, 2006 at 12:56 pm
I love David Hasselhoff. Any guy who is willing to make a complete jack ass of himself over and over again for my entertainment purposes is alright by me!
Xanthia | February 10, 2006 at 12:59 pm
His mouth looks like a PEEZ Dispenser!
ranesing | February 10, 2006 at 1:00 pm
He is deep throating a microphone while mounting a giant Pepsi bottle spewing something the color of feces all over the wall as it rises from a bathroom floor.
And he’s actually turning around to see who is watching as he rocks those white cowboy boots with the silver pointy things on the end.
Too much – who thinks this shit up?
SMF121490 | February 10, 2006 at 1:15 pm
Thank goodness I drink coca-cola. I would hate to see this image everytime I took a sip of my soda.
This guy really needs new management. The things they have him do are really embarassing and stupid. But then again, he does them, sooooo….
Onrico | February 10, 2006 at 1:22 pm
I have lost some respect for Australia. No…make that a lot of respect.
HollyJ | February 10, 2006 at 1:23 pm
What I see is David Hasslehoff with open-mouthed fckface, holding his pole in his hand, with spew flying up from his hip area and slathering the wall. =/ I’m going to have nightmares.
5paniard | February 10, 2006 at 2:34 pm
why the fuck is this guy even alive! seriously pepsi, surely you can get a better z-rated celebrity, like i dont know, chachi or cory feldman
LaydeeBug | February 10, 2006 at 2:45 pm
All this talk of spewing, slathering, popping, spraying, shit on walls is just getting me all kinds of horny. I want to pinch David’s tight little coolie and have sex on Kit’s back.
Allie D. | February 10, 2006 at 2:59 pm
Too fucking funny. I actually love this guy, because he’s so superficially cheesy and he knows it and exploits the living hell out of it. LOL
Kelly | February 10, 2006 at 4:05 pm
That’ it I am never drinking Pepsi again.
LaydeeBug | February 10, 2006 at 4:11 pm
Pepsi sucks anyway. I only drink it when there is no more Coke left (sniff).
just joking.
escapevelocity | February 10, 2006 at 4:18 pm
actually, it looks like he’s lamenting via song the woes of premature ejaculation. he’s to star in an off-broadway musical of Sex & the City, playing the role of Samantha, the she-man.
DannyJames | February 10, 2006 at 4:29 pm
that looks like shit exploding out of the pepsi botle.
HughJorganthethird | February 10, 2006 at 4:35 pm
I think if you live in a country where Hoff is considered a “singer” and his lame ass likeness is acually used to sell shit, it’s time to move. Anywhere but where you are. In fact most places would probably consider you a refugee.
escapevelocity | February 10, 2006 at 4:42 pm
looking at that picture, i’ve suddenly been overcome by this urge… this urge to go get a Pepsi. dear god, what could this mean?!
Wild Rose | February 10, 2006 at 5:23 pm
You said it Allie D.–He’s the king of Cheese! LOL
bone_daddio | February 10, 2006 at 5:27 pm
ok. you all have got this one wrong. this is actually a scene from Dave’s new porn musical –> “Soda Jerk” –> you see he just got done getting reamed by Capt. Pepsi and that wall stain is Hasselhoff’s anal ejaculate. the bottle is easing away for a smoke as Dave bursts into a musical number. this scene leads into the big gang bang that consists of bats, Saddam Hussein, Bin laden, an inter-continental balistic missile and Pink banging hasselhoff all night long – and mainly all at once. it’s gonna be an award winner!
dimestoredetective | February 10, 2006 at 6:04 pm
I ran into Hasslehoff on the studio lot a few weeks ago, and he doesn’t even look human. He looks like a glossy magazine photo. You know when you shake a magazine and those annoying subscription cards fall out? Yeah, that’s what he’s like. Like some one held an “Us” upside down and shook it and he fell out and walked away.
a concerned fan | February 10, 2006 at 6:48 pm
Pepsi is on quite a roll, eh? First those “inspired” commercials at the Super Bowl and now this. Sales must be rockin’
billabong021 | February 10, 2006 at 7:06 pm
Damn those germans for encouraging this man..
Kg | February 10, 2006 at 7:56 pm
Wow, I hope he’s lubricated himself enough
happyday | February 10, 2006 at 9:30 pm
Don’t hassle the Hoff while he’s getting off.
happyday | February 10, 2006 at 9:45 pm
This will blow your mind
http://www.randomshite.co.uk/hassle-the-hoff.html
The Lazy Asian | February 10, 2006 at 10:41 pm
I thought he was just a German sensation – didn’t realize that Australia loved him too. His fame is spreading, which makes me think:
Maybe the whole world is smarter than us? And maybe tight white pants on a guy is a good idea.
Tom McKenzie | February 10, 2006 at 10:42 pm
Hi! I’m Australian (in Melbourne) and yes, this is a real ad. It’s mostly on busstops and posters at train stations, I haven’t seen it anywhere else. Rest assured that Hasselhoff is as much of a joke here than he is there, and I have no idea why he’s doing these ads. Many ‘celebrities’ are doing simliar kinds of ads for pepsi, shown in the same context.
Tom McKenzie | February 10, 2006 at 10:45 pm
Followup:
“The Hoff joins stars such as Beyonce, Madonna, Delta Goodrem, Robbie Williams, Jennifer Hawkins and Sonny Bill Williams as an Australian Pepsi celebrity ambassador. The summer campaign will launch December 2005.”
http://www.bandt.com.au/news/00/0c039500.asp