David Hasselhoff’s 14-year-old daughter attempted to commit suicide last night by trying to “cut herself.” She was taken to a local hospital for treatment although her condition isn’t being disclosed.
I don’t want to be too insensitive about this, but I can see how waking up every morning knowing you might see your dad doing this (watch the video) would really crush your spirits. It’s tough enough being a teenager, but combine that with being The Hoff’s kid and there’s really no way you’re gonna make it through life without trying this at least once.
UPDATE: Reports are now coming in that Hasselhoff’s suicide call to the police may have been phony. Which possibly makes him the worst human being on the planet, second only to that guy who keeps stealing my newspaper. You stealing bastard, I’m going to kill you!
# 49 – You know the law, he who speaks that name goes back to the House of Pain!
Say it again, it makes my skin all bumpy!!!
That son of a bitch… And to think I had a semisecond of caring… I even thought up that little quote about perminent and temporary… DAMN IT!!
This would have made a better story if the story read:
David Hasslehoff tries to commit suicide: Teenage daughter loads gun for him. Millions of Germans jump off cliffs like lemmings as the news leaks out. Rest of world rejoices.
omg, what’s worse: a failed suicide attempt or having a cat kick your ass right into the hospital?
Hmmmmmmm Dad calls in a suicide attempt then goes on a flight to see movies and doesnt visit?
Poor kid….all the sudden I am at a total lost for words…bleh
My ten year old and I just watched the video. He asked if it was Tom Cruise or Bruce Willis. Somehow, he was shocked when I said it was David Hasselhoff.
You know you really suck at life when you can’t even succeed at killing yourself.
Life’s a bitch.
@56 Your ten year old should not have been put through that pain you just caused him. I hate to say it, but wash his eye’s with windex and pray that he doesn’t have a good memory yet. I like how he thought it was Tom Cruise or Bruce Willis. All he saw was a gay actor and a washed up actor. You choose, but we all know TCLTC…………..
@56 Your ten year old should not have been put through that pain you just caused him. I hate to say it, but wash his eye’s with windex and pray that he doesn’t have a good memory yet. I like how he thought it was Tom Cruise or Bruce Willis. All he saw was a gay actor and a washed up actor. You choose, but we all know TCLTC…………..
hehe i actually enjoyed that video. yet, im not his daughter. but c’mon. when a 14 year old tries cutting herself you know it just means poking herself with the sharp end of a compass until a dot of blood comes out.
Fucking double post! Ferret are you tampering with shit or something? This shit usually happens to you…………………..
LOL
59 I should have listened to you. Kid just woke up and asked me to get tickets to George Michael concert. I usually use the Windex on the dog, exclusively.
aaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! holy shit! you are fucking hilarious! i love this site.
Suicide by cat is NOT funny. You fucking people are so insensitive.
Hey, if William Shatner could launch a big singing career in the 1970s (who can possibly forget his rendition of “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds?” or as it’s otherwise known, “You Klingon Bastard, You Killed That Song!!”), why not The Hasselhoff now?
I saw this shit and almost couldn’t stop laughing. Thats a good reason for suicide too this guy used to be cool now he’s an assclown with weird taste in making music. I’m actually sick with a cold and started laughing at that video.
at 2:25 in this vid it looks like he has one of those lame-ass roach clips from the 70′s attached to his jacket. the type with the big feather that some people attached to their visor or rear view mirror.
shit, i did that!!
God, thst was enough to make ME want to commit suicide. I may never sleep again for fear that I could possibly see it in my nightmares. We could seriously scare the sh*t out of terrorists with that.
that’s actually sad…