UPDATE: David Hasselhoff vs. Alcohol Poisoning: Round 587!

September 21st, 2009 // 35 Comments

As legitimate actors with careers attended the Emmy Awards, David Hasselhoff kept it real by sitting at home chugging vodka like it was the goddamn antidote. Unfortunately for him, it ended up being the antidote to not going to the hospital with alcohol poisoning for the 35th time. RadarOnline reports:

Hasselhoff was home with his 17-year-old daughter Hayley and his male assistant and was on a bender. The Hoff had been drinking for more than a day, a source told RadarOnline.com. He recently wrapped taping for America’s Got Talent and shortly after began boozing heavily on vodka.
When he appeared to be in physical danger 911 was called and he was transported to the hospital. His daughter went with him and was crying heavily.
And RadarOnline.com has also learned exclusively that the actor has been hospitalized with alcohol poisoning more than five times during the past few years.
Hoff has consistently been in denial about his severe alcoholism say people close to him. He denied that it was alcohol poisoning behind his hospitalization earlier this year but the details of his story changed as more people confirmed it.

Do you want to know my favorite part of this story? The fact that I used a picture of David Hasselhoff aggressively holding a hammer. It’s like he saying to alcohol poisoning “Hey, you. Booze. Let’s dance.” And by dance I of course mean sit around the house without a shirt on telling people you wrote a book. “No, really. Just listen to me. Listen. I wrote it all down. In my mind.

UPDATE: TMZ reports The Hoff’s blaming it on an ear infection. Except when asked to touch his ear he fell down a flight of stairs then ordered a pizza. True story.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. matilda jeffries

    YESSSS

  2. kit

    - yea, a real mess…… but he’s big in Germany

  3. It's Me Fuckers

    *shudder* I don’t even want to THINK of his COCK.

  4. necessary ROUGHness

    hahaha I always forget how much of a gold mine this video is. I fail to see the problem, isn’t that the way he got that plush new gig America’s Got Talent the last time…Why are these girls keep ratting him out to the press anyway….

  5. Bizzy

    And to think that Patrick Swayze also had an alcohol problem (many moons ago), but he beat it. Sometimes it really seems the good do die young. RIP Swayze.

  6. b

    Sick fanny pack.

  7. stupidass

    don’t worry hoff

    soon we’ll be having a good laugh about this over some giant steins of grain alcohol

  8. Danklin24

    When did alcoholism and drinking in front of your teenage kid become the punchline to a joke? This guy could die and his daughter wouldn’t have a father. Now that’s some funny shit.

  9. JADE

    That man is suck a freakin tool. Let him drink himself to death who really gives a shit.

  10. TheHammer

    Handling that hammer is the only way Hasselhoff can play with his tool in public without getting arrested.

  11. I hope his daughter’s are hot because with all these daddy issues they’ll definitely end up working at the local titty joint at some point.

  12. havoc

    How bad could his wife be, that this guy actually got custody of his kids?

  13. Neal Down

    Another LaLa-land coughed-up lugee into the to Hollywood spitoon of Crash & Burn…

  14. German Guy

    If we get Kitt and the Hoff, we’ll take him. deal?

  15. I call 'em as I see 'em

    Is it more ironic if it’s HIM wearing the “don’t Hassel the Hoff” t-shirt? Or is that just really, really sad…
    I know what I think…

  16. lola

    I love this. Thanks for the laugh

  17. Randal(l)

    Smart move superficial writer, hassle the hoff while he’s wearing a shirt that specifically says not to. Now none of us are safe. The man single-handedly brought down the Berlin wall, gave us a pre-wall hitting Pamela Anderson, and calls a liter of vodka a “pussy sip” and you go and hassle him. You’ve doomed us all.

    Randal(l)

  18. Haydun Silsden

    The Hoff is my god! All hail the Hoff!!

    We’re not worthy… we’re not worthy…

  19. rdubbz

    DON”T FUCK WITH THE HOFF!!!

  20. rdubbz

    DON”T FUCK WITH THE HOFF!!!

  21. shallwedance

    A place someone who can treat you as a king or who can spoil you like a queen, this is the great place. It’s dedicated for those sugar daddies —sugarscupid.Com— !!! who are rich and successful to support and pamper women who will treat you like a king and for sugar babies who are attractive and young to seek a generous benefactor to mentor and take care of you.

  22. Albin Bainbridge

    @ 9

    “That man is suck a freakin tool. Let him drink himself to death who really gives a shit.”

    His 17-year-old daughter, which is the most tragic part of this whole story. If Hasselhoff was childless I wouldn’t care so much, let him drink himself to the grave, but the man has an underage daughter, and instead of being a proper father he’s pathetically trying to recapture his youth and stay relevant in the media. What a selfish, selfish man.

  23. Stephen Glover

    David,
    I’m a great admirer of yours and I think I can give you some knowledgeable advice. Binge drinking will kill you! Anti-buse will kill you because it blocks absorbtion and processing of alcohol; thereby causing alcohol poisioning. I’ve been were you are. I’ve found tht Campral (which reduces or eleminates your ‘need’ for alcohol) and Naproxen (which even if you do choose to drink, blocks the effects of alcohol on the brain) (although you could still blow a .25 on a breathalizer) I know you get a lot of critism and ‘helpful advise….but look into this for your health and your life. If you care to reach me I’m at Stephen30@bellsouth.net.

  24. Stephen Glover

    Sorry about the Naproxen, looking at wrong pill bottle … no, I’m not drinking, just in a hurry to get this on the post. The real name of the alcohol inhibitor is Naltrexone. Stephen

  25. Linda Smith

    David, I hope you follow the advice of the above post and seek help. You are a good man, but you have a disease,it is treatable but not curable.

    As a daughter of an alcoholic, I know how your daughter feels. Allow her to live her teen years, without being a mother and have to police you.

    Best Regards,
    Linda Smith,RN

  26. suzeee

    ok so how bad is his ex-wife that she was the one that lost custody??? Really I want to know???? How could he even think that he is the better parent? He is a falling down drunk. gross. too bad he didn’t get fired.

  27. Rhialto

    The Baywatch Curse might be even more powerful than i thought in the first place!

  28. what about cock?

  29. cc

    “Sick fanny pack.” you mean fagbag don’t you?

    Anyway, this guy is really starting to climb up the rankings of my death pool. If this isn’t a guy just waiting to choke to death on his own vomit, I don’t know who is.

  30. This guy does not age ..

  31. ghd

    i like your blog very much.

    ghd

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