David Hasselhoff takes teenage daughter to sex shop

September 24th, 2009 // 42 Comments

Apparently it’s Fucked Up Fathers Week on The Superficial because here’s David Hasselhoff taking his 17 year old daughter Hayley to an erotic sex shop for a lingerie show last night. I’m assuming this is some sort of psychological revenge for her calling 911 the other day for his “ear infection” which had to make for a great car ride home.

HOFF: Did you see the way the lingerie accentuated the tits? *sips from flask* I love tits. You gotta make sure you show a man your tits to get him to like you. Tits right in his face!
HAYLEY: *VOMIT* *VOMIT* *VOMIT* I’m a lesbian now. *VOMIT*
HOFF: And that’s why you let daddy go on a five day bender. Now, grab the wheel. I’m taking a nap. Zzz…

Photos: WireImage

  1. chupacbra

    all i can say, is jesus fucking christ, what the hell is going on?

  2. Wow, I wonder how many Big Macs she eats a day.

  3. Martina

    Well, I guess that Billy Ray Cyrus was busy.

  4. teatreeoil

    I’m sensing a Mackenzie Phillips all over again……

  5. teatreeoil

    I’m sensing a Mackenzie Phillips all over again……

  6. tony

    chubby bitch needs plus size clothing.

  7. havoc

    Hopefully his daughter drove…..


  8. is this icky, creepy parent week or something?

    did i miss a memo?

  9. Amy

    Is this “creep me the fuck out” week?

  10. stupidass

    i like making fun of the hoff as much as the next guy, but i don’t really see the big deal with this. she’s almost 18 and wanted to go to a fancy britches display. it was also apparently some sort of commercial event since people are posing for pictures, which is probably why the hoff went with her. i don’t see the big deal.

  11. Jay

    at least now we know what’s not sobering up the hoff…FOOD. cuz apparently 17 year olds seem to have a great appetite nowadays.

  12. Jay

    at least now we know what’s not sobering up the hoff…FOOD. cuz apparently 17 year olds seem to have a great appetite nowadays.

  13. Dr. Phil

    He’s just being a good dad and taking her to a lingerie show so she’ll be motivated to not be so fucking fat.

  14. steve

    She was in that last episode of Baywatch, where the new female teenage lifeguard jumps into the water and everybody is killed by the resulting tsunami.

  15. Patrick Swayze

    She’s blond, overweight, and wearing too much makeup. I’m sure the black guys were hitting on her.

  16. Bladder Infection

    Medical science originally gave us antibiotics to remove bacteria by killing bacteria. But let’s pause for a moment and remember that our goal is not to neccessarily kill them, but to remove them, right ? ClearTract works smarter, not harder, and takes it easy on your body

  17. blame it on ROUGH daddy

    Don’t hassle her, hassle the hoff. Wouldn’t be chubby too if you had to play the parenting role?

  18. mark

    #16 = Kim Kardashian

  19. DaddyDoggiesDaughter

    After a hard night off looking at women’s lingerie with his underage daughter, David likes to take the edge off by popping a Viagra pill and doing his daughter in the poop chute until the drugs wear off. David is very careful to make sure his daughter understands that anal sex is not really sex at all so this isn’t incest. No wonder this guy can’t stay sober.

  20. pete

    Hey, don’t criticize her body! So she turns to food for comfort, big deal. It’s only after waiting until her alcoholic dad finally passes out, then getting him onto his bed, pulling the blanket up over him, calling out “Dad…dad!…DAD!” to see if he’s really out, and then when he doesn’t respond, pulling the blanket down, taking his pants off, sucking him until he’s hard, and then getting on and riding his cock until she reaches another bitter orgasm. And then: Haagen Daz!

  21. Sport

    Wow, you should just move to Germany Hoff, where people care. I was never able to understand why people with that are set for life financially have so many emotional, substance and family issues. Buy a place on the beach, kick back and enjoy your life dumbfuck. Incredible …

  22. You can’t blame him for trying to spend quality time with his daughter…

  23. Rachel

    It was all innocent fun. Unfortunately, he got mean drunk later that night, and when they got home he made her imitate the lingerie show using her own underwear. Which, of course, consisted of large previously white briefs with “skid row” crotches. A few hours later she tearfully ate an entire box of Fudgesicles, one by one, going from the living room into the kitchen and promising herself it was the last one each time she reached into the freezer.

  24. samanthamay

    Better than her going by herself!!! Television is worse for kids than a 17 year old young woman going to lingerie show. Yeah it might be weird because it’s The Hoff but so what?

  25. amoi

    She’s got enough foundation on to hold up a house.

  26. JohnPhillips

    David, I’m dead now so I know. There is no god so there is no hell. Don’t let your daughter write a book about your love life after you die. Get some of that cold cash for yourself. Tell the world how special she is to you and then make movies. Use all the profits for the alcohol binge you always wanted. Then when you die we can compare notes in whatever this freaking place is I am now. You’ll like it here. No one cares what you did to your daughter.

  27. balkie

    Is that Hoff’s daughter or the girl from Wilson Phillips?

    And somebody PLEASE tell hoff that he looks skeevy and ridiculous with his shirt unbuttoned like that. This is not sexy. It is like a dog to scratch…

  28. You guys are honestly worried about this poor girl’s weight? Sure, she’s fat. But look at how much bullshit she has to put up with. Her dad is an alcoholic and she has to be HIS parental figure. Maybe she copes with food. It’s better than her snorting cocaine up her shnoz….

  29. jake_ryan_hot

    Check out pic #4 in full size view. This guy’s eyes are totally fucking bloodshot. I love a guy who just refuses to give up on the one thing in this world better than pussy.

  30. Nero

    What was it again with drunkards and kids?!

  31. Gando

    Penis and balls? Or only penis? He wouldn’t matter anyway.

  32. Beetlejuice

    I see David got the Bruce Jenner Asian Facelift Special

  33. Randal(l)


    are you sure he doesn’t drink because his daughters a little piggie. think about it, his career was filled with talking cars, big tittied broads in bikinis, thousands upon thousands of Germans at his feet, and now he comes home after being a judge at a talent show to his daughter chins deep in a bag of chili Fritos. I can see why he would drown his sorrows in bottle after bottle of vodka if I were him.


  34. Lemmy Caution

    C’mon. Y’all all know, boozed up and hornin’ it, he looks over at the fruit of his loins and thinks, “Hey, who’s the new blonde?”

  35. PsyKo

    well, she’s fucking 17… ok, I know, why her father… boggles the mind indeed.

  36. K

    He should probably take her to a salon next because those extensions are completely horrid.

  37. Rebecca

    She is so on her way to becoming a porn star. She even looks like one.

  38. she is still 17.

  39. @34

    You’re amusingly sick. She’s his daughter and she’s 17!

  40. hey …! This man is too old now ….

  41. She’s blond, overweight, and wearing too much makeup. I’m sure the black guys were hitting on her.

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