David Hasselhoff “Secret Agent Man” music video

July 11th, 2006 // 76 Comments

Time for your daily dose of the Hoff. The things this man does with his face are epic.

superficial

  1. craptownusa

    it looks like one of those videos they make in the mall. and he feels like this is his big shot so he’s putting every ounce he’s got into it. so sad. so very very sad.

  2. hessalhoff

    What a cheese ball. Is he for real?

  3. pop

    that video is painfully arousing…why do i feel both turned-on and empty inside after watching it?

    http://popculturepundit.blogspot.com/

  4. adunleavy930

    the hoff dose it again…another awesome video

  5. hessalhoff

    It just plain Hoffal.

  6. rolson

    Ha…number 6, you little beotches!

  7. francesfarmer

    the hoff is good, the hoff is wise

  8. Fugurself

    Hoff fucked Barbara Bush in the ass once. The old one.
    She kept yelling, “Faster, you meatball! Faster!”

  9. jane's eyre

    Must I? I’m not sure I want to waste another few seconds of my life watching the Hoff embarrass himself. Why doesn’t he just have a video of him banging MeganHarris, if that’s what he really wants to do?

  10. Meghann

    Now I know Germans are famous for their horrific taste in music, but COME ON.

  11. bigponie

    this guy is a dope on a rope, Mr. york and tattoo should take his ass to fantasy island.

  12. RichPort

    I like the Walmart rendition of this song much better… it’s reasons like this I used to turn the volume down on Baywatch and just watch the girls running to the beach bouncing scenes.

  13. pinky_nip

    I think the cheese industry should utilize his videos in marketing campaigns.

  14. xavierh

    “Hooked On A Feeling” I could watch because he at least somewhat stayed in key. Not so here! I made it barely 1:20 into this one before it had to go. There should be a warning like “this video has sound, please turn your computer speakers OFF before proceeding.” I can’t even think of anything sarcastic, as my ears are still bleeding.

  15. khi2

    That is insane… Wow! He reminds me a bit of Carlton in Fresh Prince… Y’know, when he was signing and dancing… But that was comedy…

  16. pop

    …and seriously, how many times does this man bite down on his lips when he’s dancing?perhaps it’s all those years experience from biting his pillow…

    http://popculturepundit.blogspot.com/

  17. The Jenny

    Hasselhoff in flames. I like it.

  18. ScriptRadar

    Wow. If he’s a hit in Germany, I wonder what them Germans are hitting… that Black Forest Buddha Bud must be freakin’ strong shizz.

  19. blowdart

    Damn you to hell, where is the sound? What good is the Hoff without his melodious voice? I didn’t get sound on his last video either.

    Such a tease.

  20. penguinwaddle

    I am quite certain his name must be logged somewhere on the National Sex Offender Registry.

  21. Fact about the Hoff:

    In the series Knight Rider, he did most of the singing on the pop tracks in the backround.

  22. You know what? After analyzing these Hoff videos, I’m decided that he’s really not a bad singer. The videos suffer from lack of direction and tackiness, but his vioce is fine.

  23. Musa_ acuminata

    Fact about Megan Harris:

    She has the entire series of Knight Rider on DVD and she wove an indian blanket out of the hair on The Hoff’s ass.

  24. Toonlite

    OMG!!!! I JUST recovered my hearing and vision after watching the Paris Hilton video…now this….sheesh good thing I didn’t return the special keyboard to the institute for the blind…

    *falling over computer desk* UUugghhh….It’s okay..I’ll be okay….

  25. penguinwaddle

    why don’t you just come out and say what you really wnat to say Megan…that you are flicking your bean to the Hoff.

  26. Xanthia

    If I didn’t already know the song and was hearing it for the first time, I would think the title was “Secret ASIAN Man” – his diction is as bad as his video…….. and when is he going to go into a twelve step program to break the wristwatch addiction????

    Personally, for pure laughs I like the one where he is flying around and dancing like someone stuck a poker up his ass……. don’t remember hte song – I was laughing too hard at the images

  27. who the FUCK told this idiot he could sing?

  28. Lauren

    David Hasselhoff > Daniel Craig

  29. I_hate_you

    At least the special effects aren’t straight out of 1982 like his other videos… Too bad we can’t say the same about his hair.

  30. bigponie

    KIT should’ve ran him over…

  31. twzzlrgirl

    This is hysterical. I love the part where he looks like a midget with the power pack on his back.

    As funny as it is, I didn’t make it to the end — I found myself wanting to poke my eyes out with a fork.

  32. penguinwaddle

    Notice how he is looking thru the binoculars at the woman holding her breasts….he looks slightly confused and somewhat appaled by what he is seeing. Interesting…

  33. The more I see of these “videos” the more I am convinced that the German people absolutely melt for public personas with warbly voices, exaggerated hand gestures, and excessive egos (Hitler, Hasselhoff). I love the subtle admission by the Hoff at the end when his face is superimposed on a woman’s buttocks. It is as though he is admitting he is a big ass and full of shit. I would love it if MTV fucked him and nominated this shit for Best Video. Couldn’t you see Hoff sitting in the front row, that shit-eating grin dominating his face as his name is called and he beats out Christina Aguilera, Pink, AFI, and Kanye West for the award? The chorus of boos and laughter mocking him as he walks to the podium to accept his award, his ’80′s inspired sunglasses glued to his head. It’d be great, but MTV’s too pretentious for that now. BTW – You just know that the Hoff still decorates his pads with Nagel. Fucking meatlover.

  34. Jedi Kevin

    Where *does* this shit come from?

  35. rata de chapinero

    he’s never gonna top hooked on a feeling. :(
    besides…Devo does it better (anybody could)

  36. spatz

    sigh. i want to have hasselhoffs babies.

  37. Italian Stallion

    Fact about Megan Harris: Worst fucking taste in music EVER!!!!!!!!

    Fact about The Hoff: makes his own Moonshine and hangs out with Tom and various cocks……………

  38. Wild Rose

    Does this dude hail from Wisconsin? ‘Cause honestly…his affection for cheese is truly astounding!

  39. educatedguess

    So I’ve always kinda thought of the Hoff as that hairy guy who balanced out Baywatch, but ever since I saw that naked picture with the puppies I just can’t wrap my mind around this guy. This video was freaken sweet. I’d have to say my favorite parts were the charlie’s angel’s type shot where he’s aiming the gun and then he fades into a silliuette, the motorcycle riding, and when he plays the recorder. I bet you every morning when he wakes up, after his first shot of Jager, he looks in the mirror, runs his fingers through his mane of 80s hair and thinks to himself, “I am one one bad mother fucker.” But it’s all cancelled out by the fact that he probably can’t fall asleep without the sound of his own gentle weeping.

  40. PapaHotNuts

    This video makes me want to make out with Megan Harris. It’s that bad.

  41. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I wonder if his balls are as beady as his eyes…

  42. penguinwaddle

    Edna, Megan Harris and the Hoff should have a threesome.

  43. HollyJ

    That kinda reminds me of my trip to Columbia.

  44. kandyk0119

    is this shit recent? Awful

  45. panamoncreel

    I pray to the Lord Almighty that that is the next theme song / opening credit song to the next James Bond movie. Please, baby Jesus, please let this be true. Thank you, God.

  46. Lettusaurus

    Ok, dont get me started on how bad the singing was, because it’s been adressed. The thing that bugged me was the granny panty lines on some of the silouettes of the “sexy chicks” writhing around throughout the video. wierd

  47. 5centsWORTH

    hmmm… was he thinking that he had actually come up with the next Bond-007 soundtrack?

  48. Ez-EEEE

    the next bond movie will suck so bad, they might as well have a horrid sound track with it.
    all i have to say is two little words that sum up the entire existence of the hoff:
    CHEESE DICK.

  49. Silje

    Ok… is it possible for ur brain to explode twice?? i am quite sure my brain exploded when I watched the GET INTO MY CAR (singing very loudly) video yesterday, but I am sure I felt something burst inside my head watching this one too. If u keep up this Hoff video marathon, I will be walking around brainless and drueling very, very soon*cry* Thank god I live in Denmark and not Germany!! Although… when I watch these videos, denmark is actually way to close to Germany anyway*whine*

  50. adamstevens123

    Is this real? I am serious.

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