David Hasselhoff knows what the ladies want

April 16th, 2008 // 22 Comments

Apparently this is my morning to kick around stars of the 80s. David Hasselhoff thinks he’s got the magic key to any woman’s pants: Autographed pictures of himself. Damn, Hoff, try to leave some ladies behind for the rest of us. NY Daily News reports:

“Last week, a group of three came into the bar, and they were laughing up a storm,” he says. They had just come from a taping of ‘America’s Got Talent,’ where Hasselhoff is a judge.
“The female of the group [a busty, cute brunette] was approached by the assistant of David Hasselhoff after the taping, and he gave her an autographed photo of him. On the back of the photo was the assistant’s phone number and a suggestion that she get in touch with ‘them.’ Also listed was the name of the hotel [the London] where they were staying.”
The source provided cell-phone shots of both sides of the autographed picture as proof.

Brace yourself for a shock, but the Hoff’s tactics actually failed. WTDF? Obviously, this woman is a man-hating lesbian. I mean, there’s just no other explanation. No straight chick could resist a romantic gesture of this magnitude. And, trust me, I’m an expert on broads.

Photos: Getty Images
superficial

  1. Vas Deferens

    Not first.

  2. mamadough

    hoff-a-pa-looza. man, that’s hot, i love writhing on top of dry leather baggage with some teen wolf hair matted to it.

  3. Vas Deferens

    It has become increasingly difficult for the ‘Hoff to pick up chicks since the release of the video of him drunkenly eating a cheeseburger off of the floor.

    And since he was star of Night Rider, that also does not help.

    And don’t forget he is a famous German pop singer.

    I forget, how did the ‘Hoff get to bang chicks again?

  4. mamadough

    watch out Losa! Godrirra is attack Japan now. Maybe ronery rizard seek find love passion on your site.

  5. RENEE

    And it sure as hell isn’t the Hoff! Yuck! (well, with the exception of the Germany ladies; they seem to love the Hoff for some reason…or is it just Germany in general?)

  6. Auntie Kryst

    Goddamn New York skanks, that picture trick is gold in Berlin.

  7. We all know the chics in the states are done with his goofy ass.
    Now hes getting turned down by the dipshit euros to.
    Way to go Hoff.
    No more blokes for your nasty ass nickers, just damn….

  8. Fumus

    “Obviously, this this woman is a man-hating lesbian.” – Superficial is slacking on it’s pimping….ert editing.

    Also what does WTDF mean?

  9. Name Witheld For Protection

    I’d fuck KITT so hard… yeah. Don’t even care. The ORIGINAL one, of course. Hoff’s car. :D OMG… yes.

    Thanks. Now I have to go change my panties.

  10. moka

    i love this dud
    he rocks
    and is on the rocks

  11. Ash

    I’m truly disappointed in the Hoffmiester… I mean come on, he could have atleast offered the chick a ride in Kitt… and clearly kitt is code for raging boner… I expected more classy things than a photograph

  12. tommy salami

    maybe he will eat a sandwich from the floor of the car in a drunken stupor…………for old times sake

  13. Harry Ballzack

    He “NEEDS” Losa’ spammer site. (His talking car was at LEAST10 times smarter.)

    But then again – ” i did not believe, i think that they are know nothing but dating and love. i am wrong.”……………….HAHAHA – I Love It !!
    Why … Yes You Are – Imagine THAT !!

    Let me guess – China – Self taught english – outsourced job at Client Logic registering Microsoft XP user ID numbers and “$pamming For Dollar$” on the sly at work ?
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ……NAFTA sucks shit Slick Willy – Your wife should be MADE to become president so she can be harassed into cleaning up after it.
    It’s the one thing you did that Bush approves of – that alone should tell you something’s not right with it (or him)

  14. Maybe the Hoff should stop approaching chicks wearing nothing but his Baywatch Speedos and a smile. Grey chest hair is soooooooooo ’90s…..

  15. OMG the spammers are effin funny!!! Wow…i’ve been going through todays comment and it seems there are way more than ever…didnt there only used to be like one per article and now theres like at least three…poorly taught bastards…

    mellie

  16. woodhorse

    The Hoff passing out photos trying to fish for a date (pun! pun! LOOK Fish!) would be a reality show I would actually watch.

    In addition to TCLTC, would all of you please make a fish pun today? I think it’s his birthday.

  17. L

    L0L. I love this site

  18. L

    L0L. I love this site

  19. PettyPape

    #3- Mamadough that is the 2nd time today that you’ve made me choke from laughing so hard!

  20. imagination

    You know what would look good with that? A cheeseburger.

  21. nightrider

    Here’s what went wrong: he forgot to include an authentic tuft of the manly Hoff-hair from the mighty pectorals.

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