I think my brain just exploded.
![]() |
Courteney Cox's Shocking Confession About Her Sex Life – Huffington Post |
Why Was This Celebrity Booed Off This Hit TV Show? – Fox News | |
50 Most Scandalous Cheerleaders in Sports History – Bleacher Report | |
Skinny Star in a Bikini Talks About Being Anorexic – Evil Beet Gossip | |
Sasha Grey keeps doing it for the kids. – TMZ | |
Kate Middleton Steps Out On Her Own – Lainey Gossip |























ScriptRadar | July 10, 2006 at 12:57 pm
First?! and Sweet Maria this rocks!
okiedoke | July 10, 2006 at 12:57 pm
First!!!
Hmmmmmm | July 10, 2006 at 12:57 pm
OMG. He is painful.
HollyJ | July 10, 2006 at 12:58 pm
He’s lived in Germany too long.
okiedoke | July 10, 2006 at 12:58 pm
You beat me ScriptRadar – yes, you do rock! LOL!
pop | July 10, 2006 at 12:59 pm
this is terrible. i just don’t think i understand….why the hell is the Hoff so big with the poop-eating germans? i guess if you eat poop your taste in music can’t be that great either…
http://popculturepundit.blogspot.com/
ellaminnowpea | July 10, 2006 at 12:59 pm
…followed by jumping off the nearest bridge….Note to SF: Please don’t post heinous crap like this at lunch time!
He’s the HOFF – dammit!!!!
okiedoke | July 10, 2006 at 12:59 pm
That video is vomiticious!
HollyJ | July 10, 2006 at 1:00 pm
I hope he’s making fun of himself and doesn’t actually consider this a real video (or a real song, for that matter). It’s like 80s Elvis.
Hmmmmmm | July 10, 2006 at 1:03 pm
There was a discussion last week on a NYC radio show re: whether he may have starred in a soft-core porn video back in the 70′s – may be true:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001327/
- see “Revenge of the Cheerleaders” a/k/a “H.O.T.S III”, in which the Hoff plays a character named, aptly, Boner.
ScriptRadar | July 10, 2006 at 1:05 pm
#5 (aka “okiedokie”) I meant the video rocked. It hurts so good.
Rylie | July 10, 2006 at 1:06 pm
Grease 3?
sharkbite | July 10, 2006 at 1:09 pm
Oh god, so scary. I wonder how Hasselhoff feels during these videos…
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
5centsWORTH | July 10, 2006 at 1:10 pm
where can i find the words to describe what i just felt……
Lipgloss Assassin | July 10, 2006 at 1:12 pm
he hurts my soul.
and the weird girls singing are helping that much either. my think bone needs a break now.
jane's eyre | July 10, 2006 at 1:13 pm
I had to avert my eyes out of embarrassment for him. I second #9. Please please let this be a joke.
The Germans are playing this over and over on every station, every TV channel, I bet.
Lipgloss Assassin | July 10, 2006 at 1:13 pm
he hurts my soul.
and the weird girls singing are helping that much either. my think bone needs a break now.
Saucie | July 10, 2006 at 1:15 pm
“I think I just peed in my mouth and threw up in my pants a little.” Osh circa May ’06
Quote used without permission – but reflects my sentiments exactly.
naeboo~ | July 10, 2006 at 1:15 pm
HAHAHAHAHA
he forgot to dance ard with some german sausages. that wld have sealed the deal!:D
5centsWORTH | July 10, 2006 at 1:15 pm
here they are: HE SOOO STOLE FROM Rex Manning !!!
naeboo~ | July 10, 2006 at 1:17 pm
HAHAHAHAHA
he forgot to dance ard with some german sausages. that wld have sealed the deal!:D
naeboo~ | July 10, 2006 at 1:19 pm
oops. sorry for the double posts. it jammed juz now
endometriorama | July 10, 2006 at 1:21 pm
wow, he’s had a lot of botox! and the chick he puts in the car is a poor man’s adriana lima.
RichPort | July 10, 2006 at 1:22 pm
Kit must have been paid ALOT of high octane gas to agree to be in this embarassing waste of film and time. Either that or the car’s a fruitcake too.
Sassy | July 10, 2006 at 1:25 pm
What. The. Fuck. Was. That.?
Ez-EEEE | July 10, 2006 at 1:27 pm
who in this tragedy is speaking for kit?
“the hoff” is an adult and can turn down being in such a vulgar display (anf for the life of me cant figure out why he didnt turn it down) but KIT. KIT is just a car. sure it can run over everything in its path. it can leave a path of blood and carnage in a tantrum like fit. but once it runs out of gas, it is again subject to the evils only “the hoff” can imagine.
I DEMAND KIT BE RELEASED FROM THE PERILS OF THE HOFF.
FREE KIT
FREE KIT
KILL HOFF
FREE KIT.
(chant with me kids)
naeboo~ | July 10, 2006 at 1:28 pm
#24>> yeah poor kit. i didnt even manage to watch the whole vid.
it’s juz killing too many brain cells.
UNWASHEDMASSES | July 10, 2006 at 1:29 pm
I sincerely hope he has embraced his schmaltz factor, much like William Shatner, and this is all meant in fun. Otherwise, this is painfully bad. The end, where he actually kicks the young chick out of the car because she lives too far – even going to the point of physically ejecting her – makes him look so out of touch. Like the Hoff is going to turn down fresh ass because he’s going to put a few extra miles on his odometer. I’m sure K.I.T.T. appreciated it.
Zanna | July 10, 2006 at 1:30 pm
Et tu, Kit…et tu?
UNWASHEDMASSES | July 10, 2006 at 1:32 pm
A better ending would have been Hoff looking smugly at the camera, lifting a can of Valvoline, and lubing up K.I.T.T.’s exhaust pipe.
UNWASHEDMASSES | July 10, 2006 at 1:34 pm
A better ending would have been Hoff gazing smugly at the camera, lifting a can of Valvoline, and lubing up K.I.T.T.’s exhaust pipe.
karatekachick | July 10, 2006 at 1:37 pm
No, a better ending would have come about 2 seconds after starting that hideous ordeal. That was by far the worst video I have seen in years, I mean come on the “fake” walking and “running” and don’t even get me started on the gyrating hips and horrid dancing. and… OMG I just don’t even know where to continue, so much is so wrong with that on so many levels……………………….
DancingQueen | July 10, 2006 at 1:39 pm
Wow, that was sad. They need to have a Baywatch reunion show w/the Hoff and Spam Anderson and call it PlasticSurgeryWatch.
mishelliew | July 10, 2006 at 1:42 pm
My eyes and ears are burning. I ask myself why, oh why is he a judge on America’s Got Talent? Apparently they saw this rockin’ video. For the love of God.
Ez-EEEE | July 10, 2006 at 1:43 pm
best ending for that video: the hoff eyes another girl on the sidewalk, sure shes ugly as hell, but maybe she lives closer.
he calls her over and they make out, he bends her over kit’s hood, and pulls down her panties to find balls.
then some sort of warning message about “if you see megan harris, please do not make out with megan harris because she has balls -sincerely, the hoff”
PapaHotNuts | July 10, 2006 at 1:45 pm
This is absolutely, with a doubt, the greatest fucking music video ever produced. He’s got the moves, the music, and the women. You all are bunch of haters, and jealousy has consumed you. The Hoff should be elected Supreme Ruler of the Universe and this song should be our universal anthem. Two words- chest hair. No one rocks the chest hair like DH. Quit all the hatin’ and open your hearts, and then get in his car. And if you play your cards rights, you won’t get ejected by the Hoff’s dope ride.
bootface | July 10, 2006 at 1:46 pm
what…….the……FUCK IS THIS!!!?????
Grapegoodness | July 10, 2006 at 1:46 pm
And to think this video has been edited!!
He cried during the American Idol finale…he’s gay…and this video helps prove it!
Smivey | July 10, 2006 at 1:52 pm
The official anthem of creeps everywhere.
okiedoke | July 10, 2006 at 1:59 pm
I am sitting here CRYING – from the video – and from the comments. Some of you really need to be PAID comic writers.
TRGal | July 10, 2006 at 2:10 pm
Jeezus!!! I’m going to have nightmares now!!
If that wasn’t enough for you, he has another video out there.
Hooked on a Feeling – http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-720650682163363570&q=Hooked+on+a+Feeling
rudesauce | July 10, 2006 at 2:14 pm
2 things:
1) His eyes look crossed and like they can’t focus on anything.
2) The real Kit had the steering wheel on the left. This must be Euro-Kit!
Paris Hilton’s video was worse. At least this one made me laugh!
feliques | July 10, 2006 at 2:15 pm
Hello folks. I’m from Germany and I’m terribly sorry to spoil your expectations but I haven’t heard of The Hoff since this “Looking for Freedom” thing. He’s neither a big star nor is his music played in our tv and radio channels. And what’s this “poop-eating germans” about?
prideofchucky | July 10, 2006 at 2:21 pm
Extra points for the “Don’t Hassel The Hoff” T-Shirt.
bigponie | July 10, 2006 at 2:22 pm
I’m gonna send this video to snoop dog and let him and his gangsta take care of this insult
Musa_ acuminata | July 10, 2006 at 2:22 pm
How can one go on living after seeing such horror? I believe my life force has drained away in a futile attempt to avoid the reality of the existence of “The Hoff”. There can be no God and a “Hoff” at the same time, it’s a metaphysical impossibility.
The horror…the horror.
prideofchucky | July 10, 2006 at 2:32 pm
THIS JUST IN!:
“Jump Into My Car” named Germany’s New National Anthem!
(Actually “Das Lied der Deutschen” isn’t much better)
Drusilla | July 10, 2006 at 2:40 pm
I guess I’m just weird (like you guys aren’t?) but I thought it was hysterical. In a creepy, totally out of touch way, of course, but I loved it anyway.
mrschickee | July 10, 2006 at 2:41 pm
He looks like a sexual predator. And what’s with the Wonder Woman shooting stars? I am so very confused by this man.
Queen LaQueefah | July 10, 2006 at 2:49 pm
that’s awesome. he’s fighting tooth and nail to hang on to that microscopic shard of sex-appeal he ALLEGEDLY had at some point in his life. Alright, Michael!