David Hasselhoff gets kicked out of Wimbledon

July 6th, 2006 // 64 Comments

David Hasselhoff was repotedly kicked out of Wimbledon because he was too drunk, forcing a guard to walk him off the tournament grounds after he repeatedly got in arguments with the security staff.

First, the 53-year-old actor had a blazing row outside Centre Court. Guards would not let him in because he did not have a valid ticket. Then he was banned from press and players


  1. Jacq

    #23 – Thanks! Hell, that still beats The Stars are Blind. Whenever I see The Hoff, that is all I will ever think of.

    He should call himself “The Fruit-Salad Head”

    He’s GOT to be drunk to keep showing up to that America’s Got Talent gig.

  2. Queen LaQueefah

    alcohol soothes the sting of mediocrity.

  3. jrzmommy

    I agree with 47–THE HOFF–as he is now forever to be known–just seems to wander around in search of the eternal buzz and is harmless (except if you’re his wife/punching bag)…..more power to that crazy mixed up bastard.

  4. jessieo

    Don’t hassle the Hoff, man. DON’T DO IT!!
    I will not hassle the Hoff no matter what you pay me. Nuff said.

  5. LL

    I laughed my ass off at this. Few things solidify your rep as a has-been like showing up drunk somewhere and then trying to play the “Don’t you know who I am?” card. Damn… And he probably does call his penis The Hoff, or some variation thereof. No, wait, he probably calls his dong Knight Rider. Anyway, hilarious.

    “More like the Jack-Hoff.” Hee hee, also funny…

    I guess it’s a good thing so many of the formerly famous don’t fade graciously into the background, or we’d have hardly anything to laugh at. Thank you, Superficial, for making life worth living.

  6. This guy gets in one movie and all of the sudden he is everywhere as if it’s some super-media blitz that is going to re-juvenate his career in somewhere besides Germany.

  7. tinyTy

    #54 hee hee I love it!

  8. bunnyhugger

    gotta love the hoff.
    and i totally hate to say this but i either read it or heard it on (gasp!) the news that this story was a fake, and whoever spread it around already made a public apology.

    but, much like santa claus and the easter bunny, it’s a lovely story, sure to be loved by children all over the world.

    “It’s David Hasselhoff!! HOORAY!”
    spongebob squarepants

  9. WorldWideWendy

    The person who told this story has made a PUBLIC APOLOGY???!!!!
    What sort of a milk fed, soft cock, tree hugging, neo nazi fucktard APOLOGISES to a ‘celebrity’?
    THEY should apologise to US.
    ESPECIALLY the ‘hoff’, which sounds like the sound guys make when they come in their hands, after all.

  10. funkygoldmedallions

    Dare I say it? Dude is my fucking idol.

  11. Hoff: Do you know who I am??
    Guard:get over it Hoff baywatch has been over years go hide somewhere please!

  12. datter

    I once burned down half a Vietnamese village with the Hoff. Helluva guy.

  13. at least he has a car that can drive his drunk ass home and probably doesn’t mind the drunken verbal abuse!

  14. Kit

    First rule in Hoff club, is don’t talk about Hoff club. Beware or you will get what you ask for. Miami Vice has become a movie, Knight Rider cannot be far behind.

    How about Will Ferrel as Michael?!?

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