David Hasselhoff gets kicked out of Wimbledon

July 6th, 2006 // 64 Comments

David Hasselhoff was repotedly kicked out of Wimbledon because he was too drunk, forcing a guard to walk him off the tournament grounds after he repeatedly got in arguments with the security staff.

First, the 53-year-old actor had a blazing row outside Centre Court. Guards would not let him in because he did not have a valid ticket. Then he was banned from press and players


  1. yuckyfresh


  2. siren823

    Hey! Don’t Hassel the Hoff. Someone of his caliber doesn’t need a ticket. Or any dignity.

  3. tinyTy

    I like drunk celebrity stories.

  4. I’ve met David Hasselhoff. for real.

  5. mrs.t

    His publicists should begin every statement by pointing out that he has battled alcohol his entire life. It takes care of so many of his problematic career and personal appearance choices.

    Otherwise, much like my post, this is indeed boring news.

  6. mrs.t

    MeganHarris, you meet the Hoff every time you look in a fucking mirror.

  7. ed1969

    The Hoff? Drunk? And refering to himself as “The Hoff”? Thats not boring, thats awesome.

  8. torpedo_tits_tonya

    That’s pretty effin’ funny, I wish I could have seen it in person.

  9. smart ass.

    I met him here in Miami Beach once. on lincoln Road.

  10. krisdylee

    blazing row… fucking brits…

  11. krisdylee

    The Hoff is what he calls his cock.

  12. He was so drunk he forgot he wasn’t in Germany, where people are killed at his whim and it is a high honor to place his penis (AKA Lil’ Hoff) in one’s mouth. He has fought a long battle with booze… and is apparently losing. Now I get why he is so beloved by Germany – it’s not the germanic last name, it’s because he’s a loser, too.

  13. henrysgirl

    I totally agree with siren823. David Hasselhoff is a god in Germany. How dare the British show him so little respect. He is a god!!! Who else but a god can be in such classic television as Young and the Restless, Knight Rider and Baywatch? On second thought, maybe he’s like Robert Johnson and made a pact with the Devil at the Crossroads. Bewate if you Hassle the Hoff.

  14. henrysgirl

    *beware* dammit, the Hoff gets my juices going.

  15. BoredStiff

    Now this is a post !!!!!!
    None of that Hohan,kristin whoavelli?,
    It’s all about the Hoff!

  16. Something tells me it doesn’t take much to get kicked out of Wimbledon. The Hoff could have take all those Brits.

  17. Dragulf

    Didn’t he used to have a car? I rememeber a car. Then again if I could fly I wouldn’t need a car either. I am so confused but I do know one thing…

    TCLTC! Superman IS your daddy!

  18. Shelley Bonnechance

    “I’m the Hoff!”

    Thanks to this priceless quote from David Horselhaff, I have just peed myself laughing.

  19. Yoda a Green Schlong Has

    “The Hoff”, a professionally incompetent, egocentric, german power ballad singing, train wreck, who is somehow charismatic and entertaining enough to overcome his “hoffishness”.

    It would have been more entertaining if the “blazing row” turned into a “severe ass kicking”. Tennis hooligans? …

  20. There’s nothing wrong with being too drunk, but David Hasselhof shouldn’t be allowed anywhere.

  21. francesfarmer

    hooked on a feeling?

    And don’t be hatin the Hoff, if you want to read a boring post go scan over lohan’s freckles again or something

  22. Sheva

    The only thing that would make the story is if he knocked over a security guard in order to walk onto the grass during the match.

    Then he’d have my eternal respect. For now it’s Kiefer tackling a Christmas tree in a UK hotel.

    So my heroes:

    1. Kiefer
    2. The Hoff

  23. Yoda a Green Schlong Has

    21. Back, by popular demand, “The Hoff”, …


  24. trailercamptramp

    MeganHarris (quote)
    “I met him here in Miami Beach once. on lincoln Road.”

    did he try and run your retarded ass over
    because thats what i want to do

  25. gammanormids

    A guy showed up naked at a tennis match while Sharapova was playing… was him? perhaps he was but no one recognised him—

  26. poon86

    This guy just wont die. No one likes you Hoff. Get over yourself. Istead of being and old drunk, you should have worked on your marriage to that hot wife of yours.

  27. HelloTimeBomb

    This story blows. Four day old news is not news. This happened on Monday!!

    Also, not that you should be interested (because I’m not), but Wimbledon denies this ever happened:



  28. ffordegroupie

    The Hoff has officially entered Cruiseland. He’s like the C-list version of Tom Cruise WLTC.

  29. Pearly


  30. Tits_McGhee

    This guy is unbelievable. Okay, Hoff, you were famous, like oh say about 20 years ago and you are staggering up to people saying “Um, excuse me, don’t you KNOW who I AM?!”

    With the ego that big, me thinks someone is trying to make up for something much smaller….

  31. Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest

    Hey, at least he got to bang Pam Anderson when she was in her prime. Now don’t tell me he didnt! She’s easier than tic-tac-toe. Have you SEEN what Tommy Lee looks like? Thats one ugly motherfucker and she MARRIED HIM for fuck’s sake!

  32. magickal

    (In William Daniels’s voice): “Uh, Michael…I’m going to crash this black bitch into a fucking wall…oh, and, America’s Got Talent sucks just like you, Brandy and that fuckwad Piers-dude”!!!!!!!!!

  33. magickal

    Oh, and, Don’t Hassel the Mother-fuckin’ Hoff, yo.

  34. ChickenScratch

    Just passing through, I have nothing to comment on this story.

    Okay, maybe one little comment…
    “Kit, TURBO-BOOST!”

    On to the next story of the day.

  35. The Hoff personally ended the cold war and he has a talking car that fires missiles and this is the respect he’s shown by elitist tennis snobs???!!!

    ….He should head back down to Wimbledon and take the upper class fuckers out; with said talking car that fires missiles….in fact apart from the environmentally friendly wombles he should blow the fuck out of the whole area….

  36. Jedi Kevin

    More like the Jack-Hoff.

  37. Rylie

    What’s “repotedly?”

  38. WorldWideWendy

    For a minute there I thought this post said
    “David Hasselhoff has reportedly slipped on a mink coat in the shower and cut his throat with a butt plug”
    But I mis-read it.

  39. NunoH

    “I’m the Hoff” lol

  40. jrzmommy

    Why should he get to be the only Hoff and have all the fun? Why can’t we all be the Hoff?
    This is hilarious. Probably one of the funnier SFs in a loooong time.

  41. RichPort

    In related news, John Tess and Yanni were caught beating each other’s spouses for screaming “I am the HOFF!!!” over and over again while Tom Cruise was caught beating his meat to “America’s Got Talent” everytime Drunk Dave had another stupid insightful comment.

  42. flamarkel

    Where was that talking car during this whole blazing row? I’ve seen that thing get him out of bigger messes than this.

  43. Italian Stallion

    @42 Kit was in the parking lot huffing gas and was in no shape to pick “The Hoff” up. They both need to check into Betty Ford, or the nearest Morgue……………

  44. flamarkel

    I thought maybe Kit was in the parking lot trying to pick up a muscle car. He always seemed, you know, that way.

  45. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    MeganHarris, I just want to know one thing: is there any celebrity you haven’t met/ made out with?
    Just curious. In fact, I think we all are.

  46. jrzmommy

    She knows everyone, Osh. MeganHarris once had a three-way with Abbott & Costello. It’s true. She told me so.

  47. BarbadoSlim

    Hehehehehehehe…the Hoff gets a free pass in my book.

    It’s fucking Knight Rider bitches.

  48. can't help myself

    On “America’s Got Talent” –

    The Hoff = The Paula

    Sure, Brandy always tries to say something nice…but it’s the HOFF who’s Mr. Drunky and can’t sit still in his seat!

  49. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Who the fuck does Hasselhoff think he is? Ted Nugent?! His penis should be revoked.

  50. Discord

    I see nothing wrong with what he did.

    After all, he’s
    “Been looking for freedom
    Ever since he left his hometown!
    He’s been looking for freedom
    Still it can’t be found!”

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