David Hasselhoff gets alcohol poisoning

The Superficial / October 11, 2007

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David Hasselhoff had a relapse in his battle with alcoholism and was admitted to Cedars-Sinai Hospital yesterday where he was treated for alcohol poisoning. David is currently in a custody battle with his ex, Pamela Bach. TMZ reports:

No word on how the latest lapse will affect custody. A judge awarded physical custody of the kids to Hoff, but we’re told for the last five weeks they’ve been living pretty much full-time with David’s ex, Pamela Bach, while he was in Europe shooting “Anaconda 3.” We’re told he had “infrequent contact” with his daughters, something Hoff’s people dispute.

David Hasselhoff is having a tough time with the booze. Yeah, that’s terrible, but let me tell you about the real tragedy here. They’re making Anaconda 3. C’mon! I’d rather pass a kidney stone then sit through that movie. Is this a franchise that really needs a third installment? But, hey, it stars David Hasselhoff, so at least they’re adding some star-power to this one.

Edit: So, I just learned that you pass kidney stones through your urethra. One ticket to Anaconda 3, please. Besides man sauce and urine, there’s only one other thing that comes out of my urethra: Laser beams.

Edit: Okay, maybe one time Chinese throwing stars shot out of it. But that’s where I draw the line.

Edit: Alright, alright. Yes, during a full moon, I shot a silver bullet out of it and killed a werewolf. But, seriously, that’s it.

Edit: A Civil War-era cannonball, Carl Weathers and a map of Middle-Earth. Okay, I’m done.