David Hasselhoff adds pants-pissing, doctor-punching to his drunken resume

October 9th, 2009 // 31 Comments

David Hasselhoff managed to drink himself into the hospital again. This time in London which is an almost superhuman feat considering those people drink 20 pints of ale for breakfast. The Sun reports:

The bender began at the weekend when the US actor joined about 400 A-listers at X Factor supremo Simon Cowell’s posh birthday party. He got smashed and was escorted out of a side door and back to the hotel.
A source close to the star said: “David is very hard to handle when he drinks, often very emotional and aggressive. On this occasion he became so drunk he wet his hotel bed – ruining two mattresses – and was becoming a real pain for staff. His assistant Joe Townley was so concerned he called out a doctor. David was furious and lashed out at him – but mistakenly hit the doctor.
“They decided they had no option but to lock him in the basement until an ambulance arrived.”

I’ve funneled a significant amount of booze through my liver, but I can honestly say I’ve never been so shitfaced it required an entire basement to contain me until a team of paramedics arrived to talk me out of going for nachos. And that’s a shame I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life. *sniff* DON’T LOOK AT ME!

Photos: WENN
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Comments (31)

  1. sim | October 9, 2009 at 3:40 pm

    that’s Hoff-full

    Reply
  2. Ruby | October 9, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    Lucky bastard. I only get superhorny and then sleepy when I’m Hoff-drunk. It hurts when I pee!

    Reply
  3. Randal | October 9, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    I’m loving the suit there David. Stripes are in, especially those that are so bold and defining. The purple colored pocket squares adds a sense of flair and party style that goes well with your fun personality.

    A hit if I ever saw one.

    Randal

    Reply
  4. Jim | October 9, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    And the Overused Organ Award goes to….It’s a tie!!! Congrats to:

    Hasselhoff’s liver and Lohan’s vagina.

    Reply
  5. Jimmy | October 9, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    David’s new nickname, “yellow stain.”

    Reply
  6. joejoe | October 9, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    I cant stand drunks

    Reply
  7. HRH Adam | October 9, 2009 at 4:19 pm

    This guy is bloody pathetic. Far from the tortured, addicted genius of, say, Noel Gallagher in 1994 or so many musicians, he’s just a lame twat who has somehow struck gold twice with two shitty TV shows and has been given a free ride in life, yet continually squanders it

    Reply
  8. HRH Adam | October 9, 2009 at 4:19 pm

    This guy is bloody pathetic. Far from the tortured, addicted genius of, say, Noel Gallagher in 1994 or so many musicians, he’s just a lame twat who has somehow struck gold twice with two shitty TV shows and has been given a free ride in life, yet continually squanders it.

    Reply
  9. bob | October 9, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    Oh come on. Don’t fucking believe anything The Sun says. He probably was drunk but everything else will be entirely made up. Fucking slapstick swinging for someone but hitting a doctor? Pfffffft and tits I say.

    Reply
  10. chopper | October 9, 2009 at 4:37 pm

    light weight

    Reply
  11. crazypants | October 9, 2009 at 4:39 pm

    that’s a lot of pee – two mattresses soaked?!? Hoff is a super-human.

    Reply
  12. Turd the third | October 9, 2009 at 4:51 pm

    David Pissal-Puff, I hope I am never on the same airplane he is flying in..

    Reply
  13. Sport | October 9, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    awesome.

    Reply
  14. Kick | October 9, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    I am starting a group called the Randal-ettes.

    Reply
  15. mike | October 9, 2009 at 6:41 pm

    we got the story from insidethe rehab shop!!! from the Hoffs only friend in the world, his last mate, his one and only friend KITT read his story , it’ funny and a bit beyond http://bit.ly/3kVFjz

    Reply
  16. vintage Rough | October 9, 2009 at 7:13 pm

    With so much laughter, his assistant has got to have the lowest blood pressure on the planet…how embarrassing!

    Reply
  17. Duece | October 9, 2009 at 10:30 pm

    ” I cant stand drunks”

    I can’t stand teetotalers. Stuck-up (or pussy) is the word that comes closest to mind when seeing that quote. But hey, whatever suits you.

    “I’ve funneled a significant amount of booze through my liver…”

    Hahaha. Yeah, I’m sure. Douchebag or i-think-i’m-something-that-actually-matters is the what crosses my mind when reading that.

    Reply
  18. weirdo | October 9, 2009 at 10:51 pm

    It’s only a matter of time and like Michael Jacksons family, his will try to find out who is responsible for his death. I know who did it ! IT WAS THEIR OWN FUCKING FAULT, GODDAMN DRUG ADDICTS AND ALCOHOLICS.

    Reply
  19. Tanzarian | October 9, 2009 at 11:50 pm

    Why is he dressed like a Batman villain?

    Reply
  20. jeu educatifs | October 10, 2009 at 1:59 am

    He should be arrested for that hair!

    Reply
  21. Pazuzu | October 10, 2009 at 3:29 am

    I’ve heard about the Baywatch Curse before! I’m impressed!

    Reply
  22. Rhialto | October 10, 2009 at 3:35 am

    His nowadays KITT is his videotaping daugther.

    Reply
  23. Dave | October 10, 2009 at 11:05 am

    Fucking awesome. I love watching pathetic losers destroy themselves.

    Drink up, David!

    Reply
  24. Dave | October 10, 2009 at 11:07 am

    Fucking awesome. I love watching pathetic losers destroy themselves.

    Drink up, David!

    Reply
  25. Dave | October 10, 2009 at 11:16 am

    Fucking awesome. I love watching pathetic losers destroy themselves.

    Drink up, David!

    Reply
  26. Esol Esek | October 10, 2009 at 12:47 pm

    Oasis is a terrible band. Dont bring them into this. and both Gallaghers are such pompous twits, they hold the record for ponces in a city London brim with them.

    The staff at the hotel are on ‘PeeWatch’

    Reply
  27. Ex.Texan | October 10, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    WTF? How do you ruin two mattresses? Pissing on one, I can see. Did he arc it over to another bed?

    Reply
  28. i m not dina u fat pigs | October 11, 2009 at 9:39 am

    Two matresses?!?!?!?

    He’s still my hero. Rock on!

    Reply
  29. joejoe | October 11, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    #17=I can’t stand teetotalers. Stuck-up (or pussy) is the word that comes closest to mind when seeing that quote. But hey, whatever suits you.

    for the record, I’m not a teetotaler, stuck-up, or a “pussy”. I meant irresponsible drinking followed by acting toolish.

    Reply
  30. cc | January 6, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    This guy is way too low on my celebrity death watch. I mean, seriously, how much longer can it be before his liver simply explodes or he chokes to death on his own vomit?

    He’s pulling even with Lilo.

    Reply
  31. small business health insurance | March 17, 2010 at 10:12 am

    the hoff!

    Reply

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