David Copperfield isn’t a rapist after all

January 27th, 2010 // 48 Comments

Despite the fact he looks exactly like one and mastered the art of sorcery, David Copperfield is not a rapist and now the woman who accused of him sexual assault on his private island has been arrested for prostitution and pretty much pulling the exact same scheme on another man. TMZ reports:

Authorities say Carroll met the man in a bar and went to his hotel room. As they began having sex she allegedly told him, “Put $2,000 in my purse and you can have it all.” The man says when he refused to fork over the money, she told police he had forced himself upon her.
Shortly after making the report, she refused to cooperate, claiming she had another case going (Copperfield) and felt the new claim would “tarnish the other case.”
Authorities didn’t believe her and charged her with filing a false police report and prostitution.

At this point, The Superficial would like to apologize to David Copperfield for making all those jokes about him being a rapist Bond villain. I should’ve gone with my instincts and assumed the woman was lying which is simply their nature. However, in my defense, David Copperfield is creepy and has assistants draw him a map of potential dates in the audience so he can rape them on a mystical island buy them Italian dinners.

Photo: Getty

  1. pappy smear


  2. barryp

    I thought he was guiiiiiilty…..that bitch lied.

  3. Nero

    For sure he did rape his own hair color.

  4. Darth

    Never trust a woman with a glass eye and a wooden leg.

  5. Rough's goodwill tour

    Im still waiting for that episode of “Magic Secrets Revealed” tv show, for how he pulled Claudia Schiffer…



  7. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Its like when Rock Stars have people saying they raped them. Hello? This man got CLAUDIA SCHIFFER. Why the Hell would he wanna rape you?!

    Im not a fan of his magic but he made a pretty decent horror movie called TERROR TRAIN in the 80s. Its no HALLOWEEN or ELM STREET but its pretty damn good!

  8. blah

    ….and for my next trick, I will make this woman into a Gold Digging Tramp….PRESTO!






  10. Your An Asshole

    You’re an asshole. And when men lie, it’s simply because they’re assholes.

  11. havoc

    A woman lied?



  12. Watch carefully

    And for my next trick, I will make my magic wand disappear inside this extortionist woman’s vagina and then be forced to retain an attorney!


  13. Butch

    So, he’s not a rapist. He just hires hookers.

  14. B

    I mean, if I were a millionaire celebrity, I’d have people who drew maps of hot women in the audience. I’d have a team of people solely for that purpose. because really, why be rich and famous if NOT so that you can have your pick of the hottest women you can find?

    That’s about as obvious as the thing about women lying by their very nature. Both are immutable laws of nature.

  15. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Well if he KNEW she was a hooker that makies it all the funnier, He manually put the money on the nighstand and when he was leaving he zapped it back in his own pocket using mind control! LMAO!

    Never try to pull a fast one on a magician , Folks. Unless you’re a ginormous white tiger and its Sigfried and Roy (Too soon?)

  16. @9

    This man, did not ‘get’ CLAUDIA SCHIFFER”. Some studio head paid her a gazillion dollars to pretend that she’s let this guy see her naked. There is no way on God’s green earth, that anorexic old Klinger, from MASH, has ever had naked sex with a woman, who he has not paid for…

    He couldn’t cut it as an actor, and so he chose another avenue, backcombing his hair, and wearing Sigfried and Roy’s costume. I do, however, commend him on using what little he has, to gain so much.

    Finally, escorts exists for people such as this, too much money, and no game. The guy has no fucking game, just looking at him makes me want to laugh…and I’m just average looking, you can just imagine what good looking women have done to this guy’s ego.. they sit around with their equally gorgeous leggy friends and openly laugh at him, after drinking his champagne and stealing trinkets from his house, as proof that they’ve been on the inside of his glass house, perched on top of a mountain. Then they individually laugh at him some more, before they get pictures taken in public, with this , joey buttafucco face.

  17. Hav.No.Bal$


  18. SevanSins

    I’ll take The Rapist for $400, Alex.

  19. anon

    To protect women (and men) who are actually raped and men (and women) who are falsely accused women (and men) who cry rape should be charged as much as a rapist would be.
    See how I’m covering all angles.

  20. Rico

    @18 suck my cock. Where did you get your info on Copperfield? Failed actor? He was a professional magician by the time he was 19 so when exactly did he have time to fail as an actor?

    And you’re a douche nozzle if you believe Claudia Schiffer was paid to date him. Why would she go out with Copperfield? Maybe because he was famous, successful and worth millions. That might have something to do with it.

    You were probably one of the assholes that had already found him guilty before it even went to court.

    Suck a bunch of fuckin cocks you douche.

  21. Veronica

    believe me, we women who aren’t assholes condemn those nasty whores that cry rape or fake pregnancies.


    That headline with paired with that picture just made me laugh hysterically for about five whole minutes!!

  23. dancy

    So, he’s not a rapist. He just hires hookers. ========^^^^PlusFlirt____ CooM^^^^..nice and free place for BBWs and handsome men to interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends. OO…….

  24. WC

    David Copperfield’s Hair Cleared Of Rape – weeklycoitus.com

  25. I forget this is America when the feds can bust down your down and steal your money over mere allegations. How is that not an unreasonable seizure?

    Seizure law is abused to the point of tyranny.

  26. He’s still a skeez :p

  27. Me

    Ya right… women are such liars. Statements like that are why men generally get away with rape, because in fear of not being believed women are frightened to come forward. Its a million times more rare for a woman to lie about it than a man actually doing it & getting caught. That topic is no laughing matter. Get some new material jackass!

    • Martha

      That and the assumption that you cannot rape a prostitute or a sexually promiscuous woman. Boys will be boys, right?

  28. W

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    make a wish: http://www.real-wishes.com

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  29. J to the 3rd power

    WTF Fish.. Not cool, you are showing your true self in the statement that lying is in a woman’s nature. Joke or not it was in poor taste. I suspect the years if looking at pictures of gorgeous women who wouldn’t even give you the time of day has made you bitter. Way to alienate a long time reader.

  30. My Room

    This guy is a CREEP!!! He was in a small shit town in northern BC when I went to school there and was desperately trying to pick up young university girls. No one wanted to touch this guy because he was so damn slimy!!!

  31. anon

    Well piss off then

  32. @22so funny

    ..pardon moi, are you defending, DAVID COPPERFIELD? The magician?

    this in and of itself is too funny.Unless you are DAVID COPPERFIELD,in which case, I hope you were deeply offended by my post.

    Magician, professional magician, is it cause his hair is fluffier, than an amateur magician?…

    please honey, he’s so lucky, to be doing what he’s doing, it’s time he got fucked up the ass, that, MIME.

  33. david


    hear hear!

  34. Rico

    @34, I wasn’t defending him as much as pointing out what a sick cunt you are. Where is your hatred for this man coming from?

  35. @34 David Copperfield sucks

    I’m not sure you made your case about my ‘cuntiness’ but I stand by my comments concerning Mr. Copperfiled, he is lucky to be doing what he is doing and get paid( $$$$) ..

    I have no ”hatred’ for this man, as he is unimportant in my life, and in anyone except, possibly his mothers’.

    You, I find funny, defending a man who wears unitards, and gold glitter, and gets paid, possibly more than you do,for pulling rabbits out of a hat, this, I find strange, are you related?

    I am pleased to ridicule any man who I find ridiculous, that Claudia Schiffer even agreed to be photographed, next to this Vegas tragedy, is a joke. By no means is this person REMOTELY good looking enough to get any sort of quality woman, unless he writes them checks, a la Charlie Sheen. He’s written, a lot of checks in his lifetime.

    Again, while David streches out his rickety old body, and fluffs up what’s left of his hair, I will get back to work, as should you, moron.

    I suspect that he must use

  36. anon

    i don’t know if you all have heard, but hookers get raped, too. (yes, it’s still rape, even if it’s a prostitute). that it should happen twice in one hooker’s life is not rare. that both times it should go down like that–john says he’ll pay, when alone with woman he refuses, then he forces himself on her anyway (despite her protestation)–is not particularly surprising.
    that a man once had a beautiful wife does not mean he is incapable of rape.
    she might be falsely accusing, i don’t know, but let’s not assume that , because most women don’t get raped twice in a lifetime, a hooker is lying when she says she was.

  37. #38

    ….I am a woman so it’s pain me to say this, but if you are fucking for money, you’re pretty much getting raped anyway.

  38. Rico

    @37, I may not have proved you’re a cunt but your last post sure did. You for some reason hate him because he performs magic on stage and makes a lot of money doing it. You sound jealous. You then go on to knock his looks and say no quality woman would date him. Not only does that point out how shallow you are it also says what you think about other women.

    Your insane posts have done enough to prove what a psychotic cunt you are.

  39. D COPPERFIELD is a magician

    “He does magic”…. paying a woman for sex, is not magic, it’s called being a john, so he is a ‘quasi famous’ john.

    I’ve never seen David perform, ‘magic’ on stage, as I don’t have money to invest in furthering Mr. Copperfield’s sex life. I suspect, that this is where all his money is going, sex with prostitutes, strippers, b level models, starlets, Tila Tequila types.. Claudia Schiffer is counting her lucky stars that she didn’t have to be linked to this dorky looking slime ball in a unitard, for much longer.

    I’m a cunt…an anonymus cunt, laughing at this dork, paying for sex!!!

  40. Rith

    Before sex:

    Woman: Hey, Copperfield! Show me a trick, in private, and I’ll give you $2000.
    Copperfield: Sure! Why not?

    After sex:
    Woman: I didn’t see any magic. You’re just another John.
    Copperfield: (tucking the $2000 in his pocket). I f*cked you, and now you are going to disappear!

  41. Well that is good to know

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  43. Sara Jaboson


    “Why would she go out with Copperfield? Maybe because he was famous, successful and worth millions.”

    and then

    “You then go on to knock his looks and say no quality woman would date him. Not only does that point out how shallow you are it also says what you think about other women.”

    Um, okay, that just made me laugh out loud. And you are a wealth of depth, understanding, and sanity right Rico?

    I am sincerely hopeful that Copperfield is paying you handsomely for working so hard at giving him that excellent rim job!

  44. I forget this is America when the feds can bust down your down and steal your money over mere allegations. How is that not an unreasonable seizure?

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