David Cook whines about being famous

March 24th, 2009 // 79 Comments

So American Idol winner David Cook hasn’t even been famous for a year and already he’s whining on his MySpace blog:

Hey everyone,
First off, I want to say thank you to everyone who has been coming out to the shows since my last post. The vibe at these shows has been amazing.
Secondly, I have to address some behavior that has become disturbing. We pride ourselves on being accessible to you as fans, but in contrast, we do enjoy what little privacy we can muster. To that end, the efforts by some fans to find our hotel rooms, call our hotel rooms, attach things to our bus, etc., is something I have to condemn. This relationship only works when it remains healthy for both parties, and should this behavior continue, the only thing we can do is take more preventative measures to maintain our privacy, which in turn makes us less accessible to you.
I hope this doesn’t come off as harsh. I merely want to nip this in the bud so we can continue to have a great experience with all of you at the shows we have coming up. Take care and see you at the next show.
~D

Wow. Since when did rock stars become giant pussies from the pussy district of North Pussyville? David Cook here needs to spend some time with a true musician like Slash who would’ve not only opened his hotel room door but had coke-fueled sex with whoever was on the other side. Sure, his wallet might get stolen, but then he’d just step outside and carve a new one out of an alligator. I mean, honestly, are they teaching kids anything in school these days?

Photos: Getty
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  1. Richard McBeef

    this cocksmoke is not famous so I am not sure what he is bitching about.

    pics 1-3 – gay
    pic 4 – GAY

  2. His Huge Greatness Himself

    Who’s he!? What’s he doing here!? Who’s responisble!?

  3. deviousjinx

    who the fuck is this douchebag? oh, american idol…nuff said

  4. Guest

    Who the fuck is David Cook?

  5. Darth

    Is he wearing a toupet!?

  6. Bobby Malone

    I would like to find his hotel room and knock on the door. You know he would answer as I am a 6′ 6″ black guy with a foot long dick. After heading inside I would casually reach towards my belt, as if to pull out aforementioned dick, but instead removing a silenced 9mm handgun. After two shots center mass, I would put a final shot in his head. Then he can blog about the trials of being famous from hell since homosexuality is a sin.

  7. Nero

    Dane Cook,David Cook.What’s with all these Cooks!?

  8. 342

    Again…..
    who?

  9. Gando

    His earhangers hanging upside down!

  10. Deacon Jones

    Couldn’t have said it better myself Fish.

    Great minds think alike

  11. havoc

    You get the feeling he says “nip this in the bud” with a lisp?

    .

  12. Never heard of him, sorry.

  13. catch22

    he looks like deacon frost (stephen dorff )in blade

  14. Jrz

    That THUD sound you just heard was Gene Simmons fucking fainting.

  15. Yomamaluvsit

    If guyliner equaled manliness, this douche rocket would be Chuck Fucking Norris.

    Actually he sort of looks like what would happen if Chuck Norris anally raped Richard Simmons, then Dick Simmons shat out a kid two weeks later.

    David Cook doesn’t have a chin under his beard, just another toothless mouth for blowin’ hot dudes.

  16. Yomamaluvsit

    If guyliner equaled manliness, this douche rocket would be Chuck Fucking Norris.

    Actually he sort of looks like what would happen if Chuck Norris anally raped Richard Simmons, then Dick Simmons shat out a kid two weeks later.

    David Cook doesn’t have a chin under his beard, just another toothless mouth for blowin’ hot dudes.

  17. Yomamaluvsit

    If guyliner equaled manliness, this douche rocket would be Chuck Fucking Norris.

    Actually he sort of looks like what would happen if Chuck Norris anally raped Richard Simmons, then Dick Simmons shat out a kid two weeks later.

    David Cook doesn’t have a chin under his beard, just another toothless mouth for blowin’ hot dudes.

  18. Yomamaluvsit

    If guyliner equaled manliness, this douche rocket would be Chuck Fucking Norris.

    Actually he sort of looks like what would happen if Chuck Norris anally raped Richard Simmons, then Dick Simmons shat out a kid two weeks later.

    David Cook doesn’t have a chin under his beard, just another toothless mouth for blowin’ hot dudes.

  19. vanessa

    wow, what an ungrateful prick. he’s whining about a few teenage girls trying to find his hotel room? he’s lucky he even has a damn job.

  20. oh noooo, some lame reality contestant whining about being TOO FAMOUS.

  21. Fuck U

    Wow!!! A gayass knome that talks!!!!

  22. Not Quite Famous

    Seriously I don’t know this guy. It goes without saying there are so many “WHO?” comments..lol Probably a good idea not to think your famous because a few idol fans like you…douche..

  23. Fuck U

    oops, lol I meant Gnome, doesn’t her look like one? He is ugly and has no fuckin talent . I hate American Idol.

  24. Almost

    Seriously I don’t know this guy. It goes without saying there are so many “WHO?” comments..lol Probably a good idea not to think your famous because a few idol fans like you…douche..

  25. Newcastle

    What a douche.

  26. JJ

    G-A-Y.
    The biggest No Talent Ass Clown since Michael Bolton.

  27. Mr. Jones

    Crazy fans come with the turf. The Beatles (who actually had talent and relevancy – not a 15 minute turd like exhibit A) had girls stalk them night and day, and mob them at every opportunity. And this was in Germany before they were famous.

    He should be lecturing his bodyguards, not his fans. He should be arranging security details with venue management. Fans are only a force of nature.

    I guarantee you, in a couple years he will WISH fans will even know who he is, much less harass him in a hotel room.

  28. F-Him

    American Idol does not equal famous. This guy’s a tool.

  29. Pacoton

    He will have the popularity of Taylor Hicks in 6 months.

  30. R2-D2

    Beep,boop! Eewww! Blip!

  31. feckless

    @19 Evidently Chuck Norris makes your fingers tremble. In order to avoid multiple posts, save his name til bedtime cause Chuck Norris blows (just not on hte original wife).

    David Cook’s voice is incredible.

    and #29, Paul has a badly neglected illegitimate daughter in Germany.

  32. Broccolisgoodforyou

    Never heard of him.
    He kinda looks like Clay Aiken and Pete Wentz had a baby together. Which they probably both want so bad.

  33. shar

    I don’t blame him, there are some sick people out there. Just take a look at comments on this space, imagine what they would do in person.
    They entertain us,if you don’t like him, don’t bother buying his records or going to see his concerts.

  34. Blech!

    He’s cool and all, but his hair……..

  35. Deacon Jones

    “….in other news, authorities have announced the arrest of a Mr Deacon Jones, for alledgedly stalking and imitating idol star David Cook. Mr Jones was arrested across the hall from Mr Cook’s room wearing a Klingon mask and a red scarf.

    Police were tipped off by the large red arrow stapled to the wall that had “David Cook’s Room” transcribed across it. Investigators found a half pound of cocaine and a box set of Dora the Explorer. More details to come.”

  36. Galtacticus

    He’s not regular in his hairdo,isn’t he!?

  37. RMC

    he should wear more wrist bands

  38. farty mcshitface

    who the fuck is this shit-eater? never heard of him before this. and number 17- that was pretty good! i am usually a tough audience since i usually write all the funny shit around here but i had to laugh at that shit!

  39. llmtelecaster

    Don’t sweat it David. In 4 months you’ll fade away into obscurity and nobody will care anymore. Just hang in there!

  40. llmtelecaster

    …..and he looks like the love child of Conan O’Brien & Pete Wentz

  41. Jen

    I don’t think he has fans…. I think he’s trying to make fans….

    I also think he’s a complete douche bag. If he was THAT good, he wouldn’t have needed douche-fest american idol cut him a deal.

    I bet him and Dane Cook are boyfriends. It would all make sense.

  42. Zanna

    He makes me glad I don’t have a penis. Then I’d have to fuck people like him up the ass.

  43. mon

    I didn’t know that anyone outside of the American Idol circuit even knows who he is. Obviously he doesn’t know that either.

    “Oh boo hoo… my teenage girl fans who made me the winner in the first place are doing typical fan antics! I’m so unfortunate that they actually want to see me!”

    Maybe he’s bitter since any real rock band can’t take him seriously..

  44. Leo

    Good for him to actually show some brains and call things like they are.
    Someone mentioned The beatles, do you know what fans did, right? People can get crazy and needs some warnings.

    What kind of shit are they attaching to the bus? GPS?
    Fans are crazy, David was way too polite and nice.

  45. alice

    He dresses like an aged Jonas Brother.

  46. Cook is Gay

    Gay gay gay gay gay.

    “All these girls keep on chasing me and it makes me scared. They have verginas.”

    gay gay gay gay gay.

  47. S

    I hate this bitch.

  48. April

    Leo, agreed.

    He’s actually not saying everything that’s happened in that blog post…there’s been some creepy ass shit happening to him that could easily warrant restraining orders.

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