If you didn’t watch David Blaine’s attempt to break the world record for holding his breath underwater yesterday, you didn’t miss much. Mostly because he didn’t. The current record is 8 minutes 58 seconds and Blaine claimed he would top it, but fell short and only managed 7:08 before divers had to jump in and rescue him. He’d been living in an underwater sphere for the past week and this was supposed to be his big finale.
On Sunday, six days after he’d submerged himself into the water-filled tank, Blaine told ABC News that life in a big fish bowl was starting to become “horrific in many, many ways. Every muscle doesn’t just ache, it feels like a sharp, shooting pain–like a knife being stabbed.”
Actually, other than that, Blaine’s maladies included, per reports: atrophied muscles, an earache, skin rashes and a touch of liver damage. “I don’t think it’s permanent, but I’ve never felt this kind of pain in a stunt before.”
7:08 is a pretty impressive number, but Blaine’s “tricks” just aren’t exciting anymore. Maybe for his next stunt he can crank things up a notch and try flying a rocketship into the sun. No twist, just fly into the sun and then disintegrate.
Lou | May 9, 2006 at 12:15 pm
zing
Lou | May 9, 2006 at 12:15 pm
zing
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | May 9, 2006 at 12:16 pm
So David Blaine is dead, right? Magic is awesome!!!
ImCurly | May 9, 2006 at 12:16 pm
What’s up with this … I think he should stay in his damn bubble … what a FREAK !
krisdylee | May 9, 2006 at 12:17 pm
I’m fairly certain he is the Anti-Christ.
o-n | May 9, 2006 at 12:17 pm
Apparently it was considered cheating anyway because he was breathing pure oxygen beforehand. He would have to have gone something like 15 minutes. So he didn’t just fail it, he really failed it.
Lou | May 9, 2006 at 12:18 pm
David Blaine turns me on in a nerdy kind of way.
ImCurly | May 9, 2006 at 12:18 pm
I could think of better goals in life … having the most shoes, filling my two walk-in closets completely, sporting the hottest man on my arm … lmao … But holding my breath and staying in a bubble … Sounds so not fun- very dreadful !
andrewthezeppo | May 9, 2006 at 12:23 pm
I know how he can top himself next time though…the most death defying stunt of all… Sleeping with Paris Hilton without a condom
Stephanie | May 9, 2006 at 12:24 pm
I don’t know you guys… I think David Blaine is exciting. It’s the houdini kinda thing – you watch because it may be the last time. And if he DOES make it, it’s still pretty impressive.
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 9, 2006 at 12:24 pm
Ha ha! Failing in front of millions of people. This guy is a bona fide freak.
suzy | May 9, 2006 at 12:25 pm
eh, he’ll try again next year
didn’t he fail the ice box thing?
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 9, 2006 at 12:26 pm
This could also be a stunt for “Longest Time Spent In Utero”.
Lipgloss Assassin | May 9, 2006 at 12:26 pm
I was really hoping that there would’ve been a more spectacular ending to this whole “magic trick.”
Namely, Blaine melting when he touched water.
You know, because witches do that.
eatmyass_sherry-co | May 9, 2006 at 12:27 pm
I agree with both #5 and #7.
Shit, I better go to confession quick.
TCLTC
Italian Stallion | May 9, 2006 at 12:28 pm
I held my breath for 3 minutes once, I wasn’t under water though, it was in a Taxi cab in Baltimore…. Man those Arabs stink something fierce……….
honey | May 9, 2006 at 12:31 pm
who’s douche is he floating in? maybe that chick with the crotch froth
he might have been swimming with herpes which is a little bit like swimming with dolphins only different
Nimuë LaMer | May 9, 2006 at 12:31 pm
Hmmm… confined to a small, uncomfortable space, feeling like you’re drowning every second and failing miserably in the end.
And he did this for what, seven days?
I’m not impressed. I get the same feeling every day when I go to the office. Try it for twelve years, then we’ll talk.
Go back to slight of hand, David. These self imposed endurance tests are not magic. They’re just some kind of weird masochistic masturbation.
Conductor71 | May 9, 2006 at 12:32 pm
Another waste of time, money and resources…maybe he should try disappearing into thin air or time-travelling back to the 12th century so they could burn him for witchcraft.
Alternatively, he could just fuck off and work in a call centre – if you can handle that for more than 7 minutes then you a true hero
86 | May 9, 2006 at 12:33 pm
He should lock himself in a safe that’s headed for Niagara falls.
Gerald Tarrant | May 9, 2006 at 12:34 pm
@19 – If Blaine tried to work in a call center he’d have to move to India. I don’t think he’s up for that.
Lindsay Lohan | May 9, 2006 at 12:36 pm
I was hoping it would either be death or glory. Instead he’s just a loser.
UNWASHEDMASSES | May 9, 2006 at 12:36 pm
This was all in preparation for Blaine’s next big event – curling up for one week inside Oprah’s minge. He’s going to need to hold his breath for longer than 7 minutes for that one.
SheasGirl | May 9, 2006 at 12:39 pm
did better then I could do, but still not good enough… he sucks lol
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 9, 2006 at 12:42 pm
#16
Try holding your breath for an entire flight. I had to sick behind some East Indians, and they reeked of garlic and curry. Plus they were drinking Slurpees.
Stereotypes are so much fun.
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 9, 2006 at 12:43 pm
*sit*
But I was sick by the end of the flight.
Sheva | May 9, 2006 at 12:45 pm
Okay, I’ll give all the losers here oxygen by hose and no food for a week. Then let’s see who can hold their breath for the record.
Not every goal of physical stamina is going to be met in the attempt. I like David Blaine. He once dated Fiona Apple who made a great first album. Then she said she was going to boycott the business because someone told her to eat something.
Or something like that.
David Blaine is still cool. He’s making serious coin trying to do the 21st century Houdini. I give him credit for his toughness.
I don’t give any credit to the braying biyatches.
Bunch of jackals.
pagebetty | May 9, 2006 at 12:47 pm
He’s Realy good At WHAT HE DOES THOUGH. HE TRIED. I like David Blaine.
sweetcheeks | May 9, 2006 at 12:49 pm
#18 — I agree. Where’s his attractive assistant? His magic cape? His saw? Unless you have those things, you are very definitely NOT magic.
The real question is, with that artfully trimmed man-stubble, why isn’t he a memeber of 98 degrees?
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 9, 2006 at 12:50 pm
Oh Sheva, are you here to replace lambananas?
lucycharms | May 9, 2006 at 12:52 pm
Can we now be done with his dog & pony shows…. so tired of this David Copperfield wanna be…. we were done with this crap in the 80′s…..
Houdini he will never be
lucycharms | May 9, 2006 at 12:52 pm
Can we now be done with his dog & pony shows…. so tired of this David Copperfield wanna be…. we were done with this crap in the 80′s…..
Houdini he will never be
tits_on_snack | May 9, 2006 at 12:53 pm
waitasec how did he go to the bathroom in there?
BigJim | May 9, 2006 at 12:53 pm
Tom Cruise can hold his breath way longer than David Blaine. He’s had lots of practice from having a cock jammed down his throat, plus one in each nostril.
Land-Man | May 9, 2006 at 12:54 pm
The real trick would be deep-throating the ol’ 14″ Land-Cock.
BigJim | May 9, 2006 at 12:55 pm
#35:
Go to Thailand and rent a five-year-old. She might be tight enough to feel you.
Binky | May 9, 2006 at 12:57 pm
I’m holding my breath until Blaine disappears….
….
….
Is he still there ? …
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 9, 2006 at 12:58 pm
#33
Easily. Babies crap into the amniotic fluid when they’re in utero, David Blaine was just reverting back to his time in the womb. The sucky thing is, is that after a while you start swallowing your own feces.
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 9, 2006 at 12:59 pm
Aww, BigJim, that is just wrong.
For the 5-year-old.
kate_possible | May 9, 2006 at 1:00 pm
David Blaine is amazing and I totally agree with #27.
he is amazing.
most poeple can hold their breath for a a little bit over a minute.
let’s see you fuck faces try holding it for 7
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 9, 2006 at 1:00 pm
And telling them it’s a Lil’ Smokie doesn’t make it any better.
BigJim | May 9, 2006 at 1:03 pm
Does anyone else think it’s weird that #40, who calls herself Kate, said “amazing” twice in her post?
I’m surprized Tom lets you near a computer that has an Internet connection.
BigJim | May 9, 2006 at 1:04 pm
Feed me:
You’re right. My bad. He can just go buy a gerbil. He won’t even need the duct tape.
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 9, 2006 at 1:04 pm
Is David Blaine by any chance affiliated with the “church” of Scientwatogy?
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 9, 2006 at 1:06 pm
if so, then
DBLT <=====3
Errrika | May 9, 2006 at 1:11 pm
Yeah, I’ve never been into his shit much either (you can take that literally if you’d like). My question is, did you guys see the trick last night when they showed him in Vegas or something and he pulled that chick’s teeth out of her mouth and then blew into her face and they were back? I’m trying to figure out how he did that one. Maybe he IS a witch.
WD-40 | May 9, 2006 at 1:14 pm
Loser.
Lala | May 9, 2006 at 1:15 pm
I went to see him in person at Lincoln Center. With a diaper pin to pierce a hole in the bubble. No, security didn’t like that.
PeteMcLochness | May 9, 2006 at 1:16 pm
holding breath for 7:08 is no finale. I do it for at least 10 every time I take a dump. Last Sunday I finished the L.A. Times Crossword and a moderate sudoku while holding my breath.
A good finale would have been if he dipped his weiner in Sue Bee Honey and stuck it through a glory hole in the wall of the grizzly bear cave at the Bronx Zoo.
I’d pay a dollar to see that!
PeteMcLochness | May 9, 2006 at 1:20 pm
BigJim–props on the Land-burns and the Kate post. LOL