David Blaine holds his breath for 17 minutes, breaks world record

April 30th, 2008 // 58 Comments

David Blaine broke the Guiness World Record today for holding one’s breath. David held his breath underwater for 17 minutes 4 seconds. That’s pretty amazing considering one time I got water up my nose in the shower and fled my house in terror. Probably should’ve grabbed a towel first…. The AP reports:

The feat was broadcast live during “The Oprah Winfrey Show” and the studio audience cheered as divers pulled the 35-year-old magician from a water-filled sphere.
Blaine looked relaxed afterward and said the record was “a lifelong dream.”
Before he entered the sphere, Blaine inhaled pure oxygen through a mask to saturate his blood with oxygen and flush out carbon dioxide.

Unfortunately, David’s moment in the sun is about to be cut short. THIS JUST IN: Criss Angel has broken the record for most jewelry worn by one person. Moment’s ago, he stepped into a bar wearing the entire Claire’s charm bracelet collection. When asked to comment, Criss Angel responded by falling over in a crash of sparkly pandas and peace signs. He would later cough up a ruby-crusted family of unicorns before asking a woman for her number. SHAZAM!

Photos: Getty Images

  1. M

    and still no one gives a shit about him

  2. He’s a tool, but that is pretty remarkable.

  3. Wait, you mean he is still breathing? I thought he got turned into a snowglobe or something.

  4. Puddin' Taine

    And this is magic how?

  5. Why isn’t he recognized for his life long record breaking attempt at the douchebag dour blank stare??

  6. Cheating enhanced technology

    Compare this little twerp with oh say Johnny Weismueller who actually swam while underwater. Hypersaturating with oxygen, hmmmm. Is he on steroids and HGH and crack as well?
    Just wait til the future for the genetically enhanced elite performer/athlete/sex-slaves!!!!!!! Brave New World!

    I can’t even get my girlfriend to shut her mouth long enough to give me head.

  7. mcbeef

    fuck i wish he would have died. i would have even watch oprah if i knew that fuck was gonna die on air.

    the only magic him and piss angel are good for is making cocks disappear up their asses.

  8. lisa

    you’re my idol. that’s some funny stuff.

  9. Boobmaster


  10. Expert on Everything

    after a night of stripping at the olympic gardens strip club in vegas, david blane and his posse of geeks asked me if i could score some blow. of course i could and wanted to hang and blow some too. when we got to my friends house they wanted to change the order to HERION. his geek friends didn’t want to say it at the club cuz he’s microscopically famous and doing herion would somehow tarnish his name. i was so down and out at the time (stripping in vegas, coke head, black guys), but david blaine made me feel like mother teresa, he was such a scum bag.

  11. carlos

    #10 Deacon Jones, is that you?

  12. No wonder he’s drain bamaged..

  13. lola

    funniest entry ever! hehahaheehee

  14. john

    fuck David Blane, A scientology ad. on thesuperficial, WTF

  15. john

    fuck David Blane, A scientology ad. on thesuperficial, WTF

    That’s it I’m done here, NEVER viewing this site again

  16. M

    #14+15 You’re a fool for not using ad-blocking software

  17. Ok buh bye john.

    #10 wtf is HERION??? Obviously not an expert on spelling..

  18. Fuck… just two more minutes and we would never had to hear about another stunt from this dumb fuck. Let’s see him set the world record for beuing devoured by killer jellyfish. What’s that Davey Boy? No???? Pussy…..

  19. David


  20. john

    Thats not the point, the fact is that the site admin. has sold ( for MONEY) web ad space to scientology. “Cunts”, if you #16 can see the ads. or not does not fucking matter. thesuperficial have sold their sole’s

  21. veggi

    hahahahaha!!! 20- who cares if they sold the bottom of their shoes? Couldn’t have gotten much for that, eh? Unless thems gots diamonds…..

  22. veggi

    Or was it the fish?? Those overseas spammers gotta eat too..

  23. Grunion

    I’d be more impressed if he got Oprah to shut the fuck up for 17 minutes.

  24. Oprah

    There’s nothing wrong with Scientology. People need to learn to be more tolerant.

  25. What is the big deal? I can hold my breath for 20 minutes..

  26. john

    you now what the fuck i mean “souls”
    they still made money from scientology, if you don’t “get” the irony of that then this site is one big fucking joke, or shall we all surf together the articles mocking “Tom and his merry men”

  27. I once had this girl hold her breath for about 20 minutes… then she finally gave up and let go of the pillow.

  28. wonder if I can get youporn at work..

  29. veggi

    naw, naw, I’m just funnin john…. however, I don’t see any scientology ads…although I see we can get dental implants and sex panther T-shirts..

  30. I really need some more radiohead. I mean COFFEE!!!! God I need to lay of the HERION

  31. Huh all I get are fifteen fucking thousand ads for RINGTONES!!!!!

  32. M

    #26 “you now what the fuck i mean “souls”"

    lol.. it’s spelled “KNOW”

    I thought you were leaving anyway, twat.

  33. Uncle Eccoli

    This guy is a con man, plain and simple. I would be willing to respect him as an impressive illusionist if he didn’t hold out his ‘stunts’ to be genuine feats of endurance. He didn’t hold his breath, he wasn’t frozen in a block of ice, and he wasn’t in that box dangling above London for days on end – which is fine in and of itself, it’s a good trick – it sure *looks* like he’s in there, just like it sure *looked* like David Copperfield had made the Statue of Liberty disappear. But David Blaine wants you to believe that he’s *actually* sawing the woman in half, which is a sore insult to his audience and other magicians.

  34. Trover

    Sadly, he started breathing again. He ought to try to hold his breath TO DEATH. A dirt nap is what this clown needs.

  35. um, excuse me. SPOILER ALERT.

  36. Hecubus

    Not nearly long enough.

  37. i wish he’d held it for 18 minutes. or whatever length of time it would take death’s icy fingers to grip his chicken neck.

  38. jimbonics

    Geez guys. Regardless of how he did it, he held his breath for 17 fucking minutes. As a former diver in HS, THREE minutes is a long fucking time, hyperventilating included.

    And John, if you didn’t search so much for Scientology, the ad service wouldn’t push it to you. You actually think Scientology came to the Superficial looking to give them money? No, you fucktard.

  39. IFuckingHateYou

    Fucking Fish & Scientology – I can’t see any Scientology ads and it’s really making my self-esteem come crashing down. The Scientologists don’t want me?!?!?
    Does this mean Tommy Boy has more money than me somehow?
    FUCK, now I remember, I spent all of grand-daddy’s inheritence on coke & hookers. Of course they don’t want me.

  40. pj

    well i guess since he failed miserably by almost 2 mins trying to hold his breath underwater without pure oxygen last time, he might as well try this.

  41. IFuckingHateYou

    Ahhh, now I see the ad. I think if you type
    TCLTC three times, the ad magically appears.
    Fuck David Blaine, that’s real magic there.

  42. Guy

    Beat Guybrush :(

  43. Tapeworm

    I believe the Criss Angel record you’re thinking of is being the biggest fucking douchebag poseur pussy on the planet.

  44. Ted from LA

    Next, I’d like to see Oprah hold her breath for an hour.

  45. Jrz

    Words cannot express how little I care about this.

  46. Jodi

    Re: 42.

    Good to see a “The Secret of Monkey Island” joke…my favourite game of all-time, easily.


  47. xtina

    HEY! I love that you posted this! At least this guy is famous for doing something a little more interesting then having a big ass or some mediocre sex tape. I was rolling at sparkly pandas, man you can write some good nonsense.

  48. Racer X


  49. Anexio

    You Barbie sized my hat you bitch!

  50. “That’s pretty amazing considering one time I got water up my nose in the shower and fled my house in terror. ”

    I nearly pissed myself with laughter when I read that. Hahahahahaha

Leave A Comment