David Beckham is totally inappropriate

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David and Victoria Beckham were spotted at The Little Door restaurant doing whatever it is you’d call this. Maybe it’s because I’m such a gentleman, but fingering your wife in public outside a restaurant seems a little tacky. At least put on a top hat or a monocle. You know, to class it up a bit. I never engage in sexual activities unless I’m wearing a full tuxedo and holding a cup of tea with my pinky sticking out.