David Beckham is kind of a pussy, also idiot

Tough guy David Beckham decided to start a fight with a paparazzo yesterday, but then let his bodyguards do the dirty work while he jetted off to get a manicure and, let’s assume, vaginal rejuvenation surgery. E! Online reports:

According to an eyewitness, Beckham went up to the car and tried to get the driver to come out. When the driver declined, Beckham’s bodyguard went to the passenger’s side and punches began flying.
The scuffle did not go unnoticed by the authorities. “They started fighting right in the street in front of the police station,” an eyewitness tells E! News.
“Once the bodyguards and the paparazzi started fighting David ran back to the car and he and Victoria drove off…The cops finally came and broke it up.”

Questioning of David Beckham’s testicular fortitude aside, I gotta admit it’d be pretty badass to have bodyguards that will fight people on command. But at what price? A plastic wife and a best friend who’s always trying to wash your back in the shower? – – Then again, cleanliness is Godliness, and it’s not like I haven’t slept with Barbie before. So where do I sign, and can my bodyguards carry chainsaws?

Photos: WENN