David Archuleta’s dad busted for soliciting prostitute

June 18th, 2009 // 32 Comments

David Archuleta’s asshole dad was busted for soliciting a prostitute at a Utah massage parlor in January, according to RadarOnline:

A doctor who was renting a building for his practice had sublet some of the suites to what he thought was a legitimate massage business. When he noticed that the masseuse “therapists” were arriving in rather scanty outfits, he asked the cops to check it out.
“After determining that no business license had been issued for whatever was going on in there, I sent in an undercover officer to put eyes on,” Det. Sgt. Salazar said. “The next day, five officers, including myself, went in to shut them down.”
At the time of the raid, only one client was there. “He was just finishing up in suite number one. I sent two of the officers in and the male was on his stomach on the table with a masseuse in lace underwear.”
That client was Jeff Archuleta. “We read him his Miranda rights twice. The second time because he said he didn’t understand them the first,” said Salazar. “During the questioning, he said he’d found the place on Craig’s List. He was asked if he’d received any sexual services and he said he had.”

Wait. You can find dirty massage parlors on Craig’s List? …. Ow, my back!

Hold my calls.

Photos: Getty

  1. gabe

    I’m not a douche even though i’m in this position… ok?

  2. Yawn, the guy got a happy ending. Whoopie! And no, his son shouldn’t be considered a “celeb” either.

  3. gabe

    tra parentesi: quanti italiani leggono the superficial?
    ho notato nel tempo diversi commenti che lasciavano intuire la presenza di italiani…

    confessate e dichiaratevi!

  4. missguydead

    Could you explain oral massage one more time??

    I’m not getting it… think you could show me?

    *high fives officer* Mannn, is she dum!

  5. Danny

    Why don’t the cops go fight real crimes?

  6. Paul

    Who? I’ve never heard of this guy let alone his dad. The kid is holding a CD so he’s a singer… I guess? The only archuleta I know of is that kind you put in your salad… oh wait, that’s arugula.

  7. Giggles

    Oh SNAP!!

  8. OhPlease

    Sounds like consenting sex to me. I think police like busting prostitutes because naked men put up less of a fight than gun totin’, pill poppin drug dealers. They are to busy making sure the cops don’t how little their junk is.

  9. Schmeeky

    But they were operating without a license!!!!

    Won’t someone think of the children for whom the business licensing fees and sales tax dollars will never be spent on? Plus the dad’s the male equivalent of a pageant mom so good for him getting his ass busted in Utah.

  10. Zanna

    Fucking Mormons.

  11. CrunchPop

    David who?

  12. So What

    So What, people need to get over the prostitution thing.

  13. Barney Frank

    Was the prostitute Mormon? I heard those Mormon girls like to party.

  14. dude_on

    I think some of this will have legitimate legal defense – but It still makes for good laughter. Davy is likely relieved that it was with a woman.

  15. I guess David wanted to stop the “dressing up like a 15 year old thai hooker and serving daddy drinks” game….

  16. CManSB

    Who among us has not has not gotten a blow-job from a women(or a T/S) we met on craigslist?

  17. So what’s the big deal it’s the oldest profession in the world

  18. Ananana

    HAHAHAH prostitues in Utah…

  19. pappy smeary


    david wouldve been busted too but the last he accompanied his dad to the massage parlor he spent the entire time weeping and made his dad hold his hand like he does when he gets a shot at the doctors office while the massuese (sp?) was jerkin his impubecent willy, true story

  20. Adrienne

    @16: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL *raises hand*

  21. FromOutofFrakkinNoWhere

    any one get the address?

  22. One L

    Yawn, next!

  23. PostmortemG

    tra parentesi: quanti italiani leggono the superficial?
    ho notato nel tempo diversi commenti che lasciavano intuire la presenza di italiani…

    confessate e dichiaratevi!

    * * *

    I understand bits and pieces of that, because i dig the piss out of Italian Horror & Exploitation films. =D Mario Bava, Lucio Fulci, Dario Argento, Umberto Lenzi, Sergio Martino, Andrea Bianchi, etc. all make me very happy!

  24. Prof

    Things I wish someone would “check out/crack down on”:
    Credit Card Co’s interest rates that don’t give a damn about the poor economy,
    Major Banks actual lending practices that don’t give a damn,
    How Gas & Elec cos have raped everyone for years and nobody gave a damn.

    People I want the police to bust right away:
    Crackheads that want money and don’t give a shit,
    Home invaders that want your stuff and don’t give a shit,
    Carjackers that want your car and don’t give a shit,

    What I, nor anyone else shouldn’t really give a damn or a shit about:
    A pudgy middle aged guy trying to get an extra oily happy ending!

  25. This is the answer of men when you can’t buy a HUSTLER or some porn magazines in an ordinary shop or bookstore, folks.

  26. Darth

    I’m gonna look more often on Craig’s List.My tired muscles could need a relaxing massage too.

  27. AteIsEnough

    He needs to get a happy ending, his own arms don’t look long enough to reach his junk! They look like mini-arms or something! Hilarious. Plus, how fucking dumb is he to admit he got sexual favors. Unless his mini-me was sack deep in her throat while she was holding a $20…were’s the proof? Moron!!!!

  28. Aud

    This is, word for word, an episode of Two and a Half Men. wtf

  29. cureholder

    “He was asked if he’d received any sexual services and he said he HAD!”

    Wow, the Nobel Committee should be calling any minute now for this genius.

    Hint: If someone asks if you are a god, you say YES! (See: Ghostbusters). If someone asks if you just received illegal sexual services, you say NO. (See: common sense).

  30. Patrick Henry

    So its okay to have gay marriage and negro presidents but you can’t have a happy ending? Amerika sucks!

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