Seen here doing a remarkable job pretending Mark Wahlberg‘s lack of prosthetic breasts doesn’t bring him unspeakable sadness, The Fighter director David O. Russell is apparently under investigation for fondling his 19-year-old transgender niece’s breasts even though he claims she told him to which, let’s agree, makes this sound not-at-all fucked-up. TMZ reports:
The Broward County Sheriff’s Dept. has confirmed … Russell has been accused of inappropriately grabbing his niece’s breasts during a workout session at a South Florida hotel gym on Dec. 30.
According to the police report taken 3 days after the incident, Russell’s niece … who was born a man and is currently in the preoperative phase of her transition … told cops the two had been doing abdominal exercises when he asked questions about her transformation.
The niece — who does NOT have a blood relation to Russell — told cops they began to talk about her breasts … and how certain hormones she’s taking have made them larger.
According to the report, the niece claims Russell then “put his hands under [her] top and felt both breasts.”
Cops say the woman said she felt “uncomfortable” … but admitted she “did not ask him to stop at any time.”
On top of allegedly asking him to inspect her breasts, David O. Russell also claims his niece made him “pinky swear” to never tell anyone about the incident and then goes on to make probably the best money quote to come out of an uncle-niece fondling session since Cletus H. Beauregarde noted in July 1987 that his niece’s “bergina done look like a retard possum.”
In the police report, one of the investigators notes, “Russell stated [his niece] is always causing drama since the transgender transformation and has become very provocative and seductive.“
“Ever since he – I’m sorry, ‘she.’ – got those things, it’s been nothing but come-on after come-on, so frankly, I feel like I’m the victim here. When your nephew-turned-niece prances around all day going, ‘Oooooooh, my titties are swollen,’ what are you supposed to do? Not fondle them? Get outta here.”