David Hasselhoff’s New Music Video Demands Your Attention

Thanks to covering such hard-hitting topics as Christina Aguilera’s Butt: What’s Happening Here?, Kelly Brook: A Report on Titties, and this silly song about Batman, I was forced to push several items to tomorrow because I only have so much dick joke juice to go around and require 16 hours of a rejuvenation process known simply as “Boobsleep.” But one item that couldn’t wait (any longer than the four days it took me to post it) is this David Hasselhoff video for “True Survivor” from the Kung Fury soundtrack because, my God, is this thing was worth how ever many hamburgers it cost to get him to do this. – If I had to give it a number, David Hasselhoff legally owns Wendy’s now. Whatever that number is. – You couldn’t encapsulate the 80s more perfectly if you turned Ronald Reagan into a cyborg that fucks the entire country in the ass with a bible on the end of his robot dick even though that’s what actually happened. His Day-Glo balls still haunt me at night…

Adding… Yes, I noticed the bad guy was Hitler even though Germans love David Hasselhoff. It’s a movie, folks.

Photo: YouTube