David Boreanaz: ‘Cheating Brought Me Closer To My Wife.’ Oh, Good.

October 10th, 2011 // 39 Comments

Full Disclosure: Using this photo was 99.99999% of the reason for this post.

When David Boreanaz cheated on his wife with just a slew of women (NSFW), he never knew it would become the “bonding experience” that would temper their love for each other and turn out alright in the end. Frankly, he just planned to get caught, go through a messy divorce and then resume trolling for random vagina. — I’m kidding, he would’ve kept trolling the whole time without stopping. TV Week reports:

The Bones star admitted last year that he cheated on his wife, former Playboy playmate Jaime Bergman, which he now tells TV Week ended up being “a bonding experience, in the long run.”
“In a sacred ground like marriage, you find yourself out of it at certain times for reasons unknown that can be destructive,” he says. “There could be a demon that kind of comes out and overtakes you.”

In David Boreanaz’s defense, of course, this whole experience made him appreciate his wife more: The man’s got no game. He spent the entire time masturbating in front of women because that’s what happens when you’re married for so long. You forget how shit works. “Well, I can tell by the look on your face you’re not enjoying me jerking it here. But don’t feel bad, don’t feel bad. Let’s try something new, I’m going to start the car and after a couple of miles, I’m going force your head into my crotch, and we’ll just see what happens. Oh, yeah, that door only unlocks from my side. Here we go!”

Photos: Getty, Splash News

The Superficial is in Clusterf@ck! Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Mon, Oct 17.

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  1. First

    First!

  2. Frank Burns

    That’s because his wife was under the other girl?

  3. TomFrank

    So it’s true? They really are making a Simple Jack movie?

  4. are you kidding me?

    “There could be a demon that kind of comes out and overtakes you.”

  5. Some Guy

    Did Forrest Gump’s barber cut his hair?

  6. Richard McBeef

    On a related note, I found that masturbating also brought me closer to his wife. I felt a deep and meaningful connection as I unloaded on the Jan ’99 centerfold.

    • Frank Burns

      Ever see her in the series “Son of the Beach” where she played “B. J. Cummings” – if not, find it!

  7. marriages can survive cheating. right tiki? ewwwps wrong example

  8. cc

    That hair will go well with the 58 Chevy with the red tuck and roll interior and the 327 with triple Strombergs.

  9. Liz

    There are times when it’s best to say nothing. Unless he’s deliberately trolling to get attention (in which case: well played, sir) this is one of them.

    And I see a messy divorce in the next few years. Not because of the cheating, but because he won’t stop and he has verbal diarrhea.

  10. Jess

    A demon, eh? Sounds like a job for Angel Investigations

    • cc

      Sounds like a job for the succubus from Lost Girl. Shit she’s hot. The physical exam episode was my tv watching highlight last season.

  11. Venom

    God, I can’t believe that I used to watch this douche on Buffy and Angel.

  12. $!*¿¤¡$ N€w M°mm¥ $!*¿¤¡$

    I use 2 have a HUGE crush on him when he played in “Angel” & “Bones” I can’t believe what im reading …!

  13. David Boreanaz Jaime Bergman Emmys
    Dr. Otto VanderWahl
    Commented on this photo:

    He should get her bronzed

  14. Urbanspaceman

    No, really!

  15. I thought all men named their penis, “My Demon”.

  16. David Boreanaz Jaime Bergman Emmys
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    “And here’s my imitation of Peter Griffin saying ‘a how do you do’!”

  17. frcrkr

    That’s some kind of fucking nazi hair cut out of the 30s.

  18. samuel

    Other douchebag’s look at this guy and think “i’m glad i’m not as bigger douchebag as David Boreanaz”

    He’s a new douchebag benchmark.

  19. forrest gump

    cheating with cows isn’t taken serious………………..
    UNLESS YOU LIVE ON A FARM!!

  20. Salacious D

    V for vagina …….ladies.

  21. StayPuft Overlord

    “I find the most sensual part of a women is the boobie.”

  22. David Boreanaz Jaime Bergman Emmys
    KC
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he was also cheating on his hairdresser with Supercuts.

  23. Always say cunt

    I’m pretty sure that the picture is of Jerry Lewis.

  24. So tell us Mr. Boreanaz, how many women were you in bed with the times you cheated on your wife?

  25. Burt

    He cheated on a woman most men would be glad to be with…What’s his excuse?

  26. Mark

    How the hell do you cheat on Jaime Bergman?! But I guess for every thousand guys who’d want to boink her there is an a##hole!

  27. Jon

    Successful troll is successful.

  28. David Boreanaz Jaime Bergman Emmys
    Motorboat Captain
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody please tell me he’s in character for a role as Robert McNamara. It’s the only way his hair makes sense.

  29. Why on EARTH would you say something like this after the dust has settled, and your life is settling back down??? What a complete MORON! He may as well post pictures of himself with all the women he banged, and thank them! Ironically, he made this statement the same day Rachel Uchitel announced she had gotten married. Hmmmm…. David is one insecure dude, who probably still jerks off to anything that moves. Douche.

  30. Free Spirit

    Um, guys. Do you actually know the man? Do the writers know him professionally OR personally? NO! SO why dont you just lay off. People make mistakes and it was his wifes choice to stay with him, so let it still be her choice, sometimes love can overcome obstacles, just look at Buffy and Angel, they fell in love, he had pure happiness with her lost his soul, turned REALLY evil and tried to kill her a few times, regot his soul, she sent him to hell and now hes back and they STILL LOVE EACH OTHER, I know they break up but they still love each other even now… Both Buffy and Angel and Mr Boreanaz and his wife.

  31. Randy Giles

    whst the fuck is going on

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