BREAKING: Alanis Morissette Did Not Go Down On Uncle Joey In A Theater

If you look at the media today, you’d just assume there are a lot of things happening in the world right now: Global warming, the deadly underbelly of misogyny, obvious Manchurian candidates. Except all of those are just distractions from real issues like whether or not Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” is about Dave Coulier. An issue that Buzzfeed wasn’t afraid to tackle, so before you go around criticizing the “sad state of journalism,” the system worked. The system worked:

It’s been almost 20 years since Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” was released. How do you feel about the song today?

DC: I never think about it. I think it’s just really funny that’s it’s become this urban legend, so many years after the fact.
I dated Alanis in 1992. You know, it’s just funny to be the supposed subject of that song. First of all, the guy in that song is a real a-hole, so I don’t want to be that guy. Secondly, I asked Alanis, “I’m getting calls by the media and they want to know who this guy is.” And she said, “Well, you know it could be a bunch of people. But you can say whatever you want.” So one time, I was doing a red carpet somewhere and [the press] just wore me down and everybody wanted to know so I said, “Yeah, all right, I’m the guy. There I said it.” So then it became a snowball effect of, “OH! So you are the guy!”
It’s just become this silly urban legend that I just have to laugh at.

Great. Awesome. So, all those times I imagined Alanis Morissette looking up at Dave Coulier in the middle of Reality Bites and going, “Got any wooooood?” were based on lies. I’ll kill you for this, Gladstone! *gets held back by Cody from Step-By-Step* I’LL KILL YOU FOR THIS DEAD!

Adding… Super creepy bonus quote:

Where do you think Uncle Joey would be today?

DC: Well, he’d be married to Kimmy Gibbler, they’d have three kids and he’d probably be running a comedy club in Iowa. (Laughs.)

Haha! He’d fuck his niece’s best friend. Cut. It. OUT.

Photo: Getty