Xenu Can’t Stop Danny Masterson From Losing His Job

I have never seen The Ranch on Netflix and probably never will, but I guess it’s like That ’70s Show except it’s not in Wisconsin or something? It’s another canned laughter, studio sitcom and Danny Masterson and Ashton Kutcher are in it because fuck you, somebody’ll watch it. Anyway, executive producer, lead actor, and alleged rapist Danny Masterson finally doesn’t have a job — that’s the big news here.

If you haven’t been following the story about Danny Masterson and how the church of Scientology has been trying to coverup multiple rape accusations against him, here are a few bullet points…

  • Danny Masterson is being accused of rape by four different women.
  • The LAPD has been dragging their feet with the investigations because Scientology is basically the space mafia.
  • Netflix allowed Masterson to take a “graceful exit” from the show instead of firing him because, again… space mafia.
  • Don’t fuck with the space mafia or they’ll kill your dog.

It’s pretty obvious who is calling the shots in this case. Masterson, one of Scientology’s few remaining active celebrities that actually work, must be protected at all costs to restore their galactic order or some shit.

Here’s a little perspective: It took Netflix about 48 hours to cut ties with Kevin Spacey after he admitted to drunkenly humping a kid back in the ’80s. House of Cards was what put Netflix on the fucking map. The show was a watershed moment for modern television programming and its shift towards the online stream. It was probably their biggest deal up until Stranger Things.

With that in mind, have you ever been standing in line at Baskin Robins (AKA the pulse of America) and overheard someone in line say something like, “Holy shit! You haven’t been keeping up with The Ranch? Grab a couple gallons of ice cream and we’ll binge it over the next couple days.”

No, of course you haven’t. People are stupid but not that stupid and they’re still talking about Stranger Things at my Baskin Robins.

The fact that Netflix took Masterson’s side for so long and didn’t choose to believe the FOUR women accusing him of the big “R” should say something obvious about the church’s involvement and general bro-fending in this case.

At least now Masterson is out of a job, which is nice. If Billy Bush gets blacklisted for just listening to a guy talk about sexual assault, then it’s not really fair that Masterson gets to keep working on his own show after being accused of rape… four times… with drugs… Cosby style…

Leah Remini knows what’s going on here…

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