Danny DeVito Was Cheating On Rhea Perlman? Okay, I Can See It

Because they’re the only mole people who can survive above the surface besides Jordan Bratman so no one else will want to have sex with them, Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman were practically made for each other which made news of their divorce so devastating yesterday. Except it turns out Danny was constantly nailing chicks on the side which proves my theory that this recession has hit hookers the hardest. Via RadarOnline:

“Despite his reputation as a lovable, funny guy in movies and on TV, Danny’s actually quite the flirt and ladies’ man. Like a lot of red-blooded males, if he sees an attractive girl in a coffee shop or walking down the street, he will give her the eye.
“After years of turning a blind eye to it, Rhea finally snapped. She had enough of his bad-boy behavior and wanted an end to their marriage.

You know, I criticize America for a lot of things: The Kardashians, the south, Republicans, Olive Garden, laws prohibiting sexual harassment, Republicans. But at the end of the day, a hideously ugly man with a lot of money can still get laid by a bunch of women, so in your face, other countries! What’s that? Happens everywhere? More of a commentary on women in general? Dammit. Well, what about Jon Hamm’s penis? Does anyone else have that? Just us? Ha! Suck it, world. USA! USA! USA!

Photos: Getty, Splash News, WENN