Danielle Staub made a sex tape

June 8th, 2010 // 36 Comments

I don’t even know what this thing is but apparently you’re going to be able to see it fuck – and in it’s current form! Whee! TMZ reports:

Hustler Inc. tells us it is all set to distribute a 75 minute tape, featuring Jersey’s most hated Housewife — and mother of two — in a naked romp with a mystery man.
A rep from Hustler tells us the tape was shot last September — several months after 47-year old Staub first appeared on the Bravo reality show. The tape is set to be released on June 14.

For the record, Danielle was a prostitute/coke mule in the 80s, so maybe.. Okay, I’m sorry, there’s no way to justify watching old people sex. Who do I call to make the legal age limit on sex tapes 29? Because this can’t be this less dire than that oil spill thing. Seriously, I might get drunk and accidentally download this and you do not want that shit on your hands. Trust me.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Jones

    Meh, I’d DBL bag it and tap it. Crazy old desperate whores will drain your cock till it’s spitting old wisps of smoke.

  2. Taz

    She looks like the joker

  3. URMOMMA

    Its not old people sex, this chik cant be more than 14 years old mentally
    Her kids must be soooo proud

  4. miked

    This website should be ashamed for promoting wanna be celebs, any shank can have a sex tape how is this worthy?

    Take down this waste of a post and put up something that the readers actually care about. It would be different if:

    1. she is attractive and
    2. in some form of undress

    both not one or the other. Stick to this critrea you douche…

  5. EWWWW. What a skank. I hope HER mom releases a sex tape.

  6. PoohEater

    Memory is hazy, but I think I might have been one of her johns back in the day. @4: we should hang out some time.

  7. pimp

    @4, completely agree. hey fish, i have a sex tape, can i get some press?…

  8. Deacon Jones

    @1 Correct.

    I’d watch the tape. I’ve done worse.

  9. frankw

    @2

    That’s an insult to the Joker.

  10. Willie Dixon

    @4 – You are the new voice of the boards.

    To add, Fish, the lightbox ads are annoying enough, but the one from this morning didn’t even have an “x” to get rid of it. Poor form, dude. Glad to see it’s gone now.

  11. bar room hero

    @2, 9 LOL..

    Who watches this shit???

  12. drenk

    freckled meat curtains yum!

  13. Pat

    Hey, don’t get mad at the Fish. The audience for the Bravo channel is mostly fags and bitter hags, so he reasonably assumed a story about one of their reality “stars” would be perfect for this site.

  14. Jon

    It looks like her face caught on fire and someone put it out with a chainsaw.

  15. ROUGH is never having to say you're sorry

    yeah but I still want to see how distinctive her staub is. Where are those stills a la Kendra…

  16. What in the fucking hell is a Danielle Staub? Some kind of fucking ghoul?

    2 things here made me laugh like hell:

    OP: “I don’t even know what this thing is but apparently you’re going to be able to see it fuck ”

    @14 Jon: “It looks like her face caught on fire and someone put it out with a chainsaw”

    Watching this saggy, wrinkled cunt fuck somebody probably looks like seeing a raisin get stabbed by a toothpick. Fuck me.

  17. I forgot to mention the age freckles. So maybe I should have said “diseased raisin”.

    Did they remove the broom and black pointed hat before they took her picture?

    I’d love to get a running start and slam my fist into her puss. The one on her neck, not the one between her legs. I don’t want to catch a disease or anything.

  18. Admirial Nimitz

    How much is she paying people to watch it?

  19. Nero

    Let’s wait for the sex tape,tho “Staub” means “dust” in German . .

  20. Jen

    the people bitching about Fish, go to another website…BYE!

  21. Jon and Kate plus Haiti

    This has got to be performance art. don’t be too startled when you find that it is the new spock from the new star trek in high heels and a jockstrap.

  22. dude

    I would.

  23. Blech

    “Danielle Staub made a sex tape”…

    … that I will not ever watch!

  24. Sorry…I’m not into seeing horror movies. I think I’ll pass.

  25. turd da third

    that douchebag has a huge mouth I bet it will fit at least 4 cocks at the same time.. I guess we will find out in the second sex tape

    what an ugly old cunt she is……..

  26. random

    fish – its not the age that should be regulated for these things, its the hotness. think about it – limiting it to 29 would put kelly brooke, jen aniston, and halle berry out of the running. that would truly be a shame. not that i foresee any of them releasing one any time soon, but we can dream…and just in case, we wouldn’t want to restrict them. i think you should have to be at LEAST a 6, probably 6.5 in the looks department to tape yourself having sex. and that number is unadjusted for age – so no ‘hot for an old lady’ types. you just have to be plain hot, age aside. a 6.5 isn’t like ‘wow’ but its not painful to watch, either, like this she-beast would be.

  27. curlyjo

    Thanks for the lousy post, which yielded such hilarious comments.

  28. captain america

    where: THE HOME FOR THE ELDERLY?

  29. no viewers for her tape..what a waste

  30. What’s with the post-facelift face? :)

  31. Lenny

    You got to remember this is the road to success today. If you don’t have a sex tape you’re nobody. Forget about acting, dancing and singing. Screw someone on tape and that’s the real road to success.

  32. cc

    Even on these boards, I generally don’t say anything this unkind but…she’s revolting. I’d sooner watch two pigeons humping on the roof of the bus station than sit through her sex tape. BARF!

  33. cc

    With a little bit of make up, she’d make a great scary clown, don’t you think?

  34. SHADE

    Post the nude stills from the video… TMZ had em up this morning, and her tits weren’t looking half bad except for the giant pink stars covering them shits up.

  35. ro

    #13 Pat, you’re as trashy as Danielle. Hey, maybe they can do an article on you. Low life.

  36. Mark

    If she had as many sticking out of her that she had stuck in her, she’d be a porcupine!!! What a psychotic obnoxious douche. She gives Jersey a bad name and it doesnt need help. She should get (or probably has)hepasyphiherpesaids.A complete waste of life subjecting her kids to her trampy selfcentered unending rants of stupidity. The other 4 should put a pillowcase over head and beat her with old typewriters. Just sayin

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