Danielle Staub made a sex tape

I don’t even know what this thing is but apparently you’re going to be able to see it fuck – and in it’s current form! Whee! TMZ reports:

Hustler Inc. tells us it is all set to distribute a 75 minute tape, featuring Jersey’s most hated Housewife — and mother of two — in a naked romp with a mystery man.
A rep from Hustler tells us the tape was shot last September — several months after 47-year old Staub first appeared on the Bravo reality show. The tape is set to be released on June 14.

For the record, Danielle was a prostitute/coke mule in the 80s, so maybe.. Okay, I’m sorry, there’s no way to justify watching old people sex. Who do I call to make the legal age limit on sex tapes 29? Because this can’t be this less dire than that oil spill thing. Seriously, I might get drunk and accidentally download this and you do not want that shit on your hands. Trust me.

Photos: Splash News