Danielle Lloyd appreciates the ancient art of breasts and ale

November 10th, 2008 // 80 Comments

Former Miss England 2004 and British glamour model Danielle Lloyd stopped by Mansion night club in Ireland Saturday night where she displayed my two favorite things in the world. She also drank Guinness. (Hi-YO!) Why can’t more American celebrities dress all cleavagey while brandishing a frosty ale? That’s just downright patriotic! You see, kids, after Mel Gibson won the Revolutionary War by stabbing British soldiers with Old Glory, Samuel Adams took his first opportunity as a free man to invent beer so that America would rise up and grasp its greatness like so many tasty nachos:

ELIZABETH ADAMS: I’m with child.
SAM ADAMS: What lamentable news. Calamity not withstanding, you’ve presented an opportunity to test my new elixir. *chugs* Repeat your proclamation, would you, please?
ELIZABETH: I’m with child.
SAM: Curious. I find myself no longer contemplating a perilous ride off a steep precipice. I believe I’ve done it! *chugs* Fetch my quill and parchment!
ELIZABETH: For what purpose, dear?
SAM: I’m stricken with the immediate need to inform my colleague Thomas Jefferson that he prefers the lustful company of men and there exists a distinct possibility he was sired from my loins.
ELIZABETH: My word, Samuel, you’ve soiled yourself.
SAM: So I have. Good show!

Photos: WENN

  1. Homer

    mmmmmm….cheap and greasy….uuuuuuuuuuuugghhhhhhh

  2. Tits mcGee

    uurrrr. not my cuppa tea

  3. Ted from LA

    It’s not an ale, Fish, it’s a stout. You’re obviously not Irish because you’d know this and you’d be funny and write well.

  4. Im glad she enjoy a frosty finish in public but what about in private? which is very crucial!

  5. You why this girl is so wonderful? she looks pleasant and we know nothing about her!

  6. havoc

    Aw yeah…..

    Nice and sweaty….


  7. Sid

    If Fish were Irish he’d also know about the Irish boomerang – when you throw it, it doesn’t come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to.

  8. Where have they been hiding all of these good looking women in England??

  9. meh

    Dammit English & Irish girls aren’t supposed to be tan. I like my Asian and black girls brown and my white lasses fair. Natural’s always hotter.

  10. Danielle Lloyd, Llanielle Doyd, I don’t care. I would do them both!

  11. Ted Mosby

    Pic #2 was a potential nipslip.

  12. Ted, That is damn close to a nip slip..

  13. ChuckleHead

    Something has happened to the REAL Superficial writer.
    The real Fish writer would have spelled ‘revoluationary’ right.

    Spell it with me fake Fish writer R-E-V-O-L-U-T-I-O-N-A-R-Y.

    Will the real Superficial writer, please stand up.

  14. Sam

    umm….ok. But when I look at her it’s more like “Former Miss England 2004 and British glamour model and typical chick I see at the bars near Florida State University Danielle Lloyd.”

  15. Ron

    Guinness is a stout not an ale.

  16. supersex

    ok what the hell i guess i would fuck her

  17. Capsular Contracture

    Looks like the fake tatas are beginning to show signs of deformity.

  18. with a body like that you would expect to see her on


  19. Randal

    Guinness is a great beer but it’s not cheap beer, especially when purchased in tall boy cans. Four cans can easily be $10 or more in some places. You’re better off getting it in a dry glass at the pub instead of from the can anyhow.


  20. Fit Beer Drinker

    I agree with the writer and this is why I like to show cleavage and drink good beer like Guiness, but my breasts are real.

  21. Randal, I know who you are. Stoppit. You KNOW I know who you are.

  22. iwantbeer

    I liked her much better blonde.

  23. I don’t like eating dinner at mymom’s. she thinks that every day is thanksgiving. Now I’m 2 pounds heavier… :(

  24. Binky

    I like the Guiness in the can, with the widget.
    Unless you’re in Ireland. Then the stuff on tap is ok.
    (Just in case anyone was wondering…that type of thing)

  25. morga

    #3/ #15…a stout is a style of ale, you morons.

    Go re-learn your beer hierarchy.

  26. But the WII she has….whoa that is one piece of shit right there. I wouldn’t reccommend it to mty 5 yr old nephew (even though he loves it)

  27. E

    a stout is an ale but an ale isn’t necessarily a stout

  28. I could use a stout right about now..

  29. Binky

    Oh. Frist. Congrats on your engagement !! All the best !!! (You’re one of the only people here who talks to me.)( Well ok other than those Chinese guys and Cliff Notes. ) (Like where did Barbado Slim, sid, etc go ?)(Well ok and Ted from LA)
    Congrats !! And where did you get the dead baby thingie for your profile ? I’m going to miss that good ol’ skull !! Life marches on I suppose….
    I’m trying your slow cook masala recipe this week – will let you know how it goes…

  30. King Monkey

    Nice big shameless advertisement for that “Horse-Piss” she’s drinking
    That’s the nastiest crap I ever mistakenly drank for beer in my life.
    Swear to god the bottom of my glass had twigs, leaves mud left in it

  31. Kahlee

    I don’t like this girl. She came across as such a bitch on celebrity big brother. Giving British girls a bad name.

  32. I found her blogs on “””””’ Millionaire Romances.c om_____, a totally free social

    networking club for celebrities and stars! I just wonder if the blogs were written by herself?
    xxx ???????????????????????????????

  33. I like a video. I think the maker is a talent. I would recommend it my friends whom I met on

    dating millionaire site called””””’ M i l l i o n a i r e R o m a n c e s.c o m ”””””””’I hope to see more in

    the future.


  35. daharia

    Guinness is stout.

    I doubt she even liked it too. All for cameras.

  36. hendero

    Danielle Lloyd, Danielle Lloyd
    The perfect study for Sigmund Freud.
    Your head is an empty, wasteless void,
    It’s that staggering rack we can’t avoid.


  37. nico

    GuiNNess. Please don’t blaspheme when it comes to important matters.

  38. ummm...yeah

    That bitch looks like she hates that fucking beer/stout/ale, whatfuckingever!
    She also has man hands!
    Bloody Bitch!

  39. Stanky

    How can her teeth be white but still fucked up?

    Oh right, she’s British. They did the best they could with the teeth. For some pretty choppers, please see any American hottie such as Jessica Simpson.

  40. Stinky McStinkface

    fish, you should post the pics of suri going ape shit on katie holmes (well, as ape shit as an alien baby can go). they’re hilarious.

  41. the_dude

    I haven’t read all of these comments with any strict thoroughness but I believe I might be the first to say that I would like to shag that tart rotten.

    She doesn’t like Guinness, you say? Shame.


    {hahaha, he was lookin’ over my shoulder}

  43. Nancy

    Yeah those are funny pictures of Suri! She looks like she’s summoning Zorg to shoot some death rays at her mom.

  44. {but it’s true and a good thing – I sure as hell don’t want any more kids!!! I’ve got one too many!!!}

  45. Well, I had no choice. Time to get rid of that monster meal at mom’s. No fuckin’ way I’ll look fat in my wedding dress!!! I guess there’s always exercising or even having some self-restraint, but fuck that – in honor of the Superfish, I’m doing this Britney-style! Mom’s getting up their in years so she has lots of one of the two products they advertise all the time on TV for the elderly (laxatives, not adult diapers…yet), and I totally binged on her stash. I only hope that it doesn’t hit suddenl–pfffft…PTHPPTHBPTHBPTHBPHBPTHB…PBRRRRBRBRBRB….squirt…squirt…PLOBPLOBPLBOPPLBO!!! FARRRT!!!…pfft…




  46. crux5503

    She looks like she uses Guinness for tanning lotion.

  47. ___

    Hey #33, #34,

    Fuck you, you dirty fucking gook. Go Kamikaze off the nearest tall building please.

  48. Trolls are Retards

    #47, you are a retard. You fool nobody.

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