Daniel Craig isn’t so tough
Jumping right into the British talk, current James Bond Daniel Craig is a bit of a poof, according to Page Six:
Craig, 41, has demanded personal security be available to shadow him at all times while his equally famous co-star, Hugh Jackman, hasn’t asked for any protection at all, sources told Page Six.
“Everybody thinks it’s funny because the truth is, Daniel rarely gets approached by the public in the street and at restaurants — especially now that he has the huge handlebar moustache for this role,” a production source said.
This isn’t the first time that Craig — who’s rented a lavish, $38,000-a-month apartment with top security as his safe haven in town — has been accused of being a wimp. In 2005, he made a splash in London when he was unveiled as the new James Bond on a Royal Marine commando boat — looking seasick and wearing a life jacket. Craig even admitted the ride had scared “the [bleep] out of me.”
His dad, Tim Wroughton-Craig, was forced to jump to his defense following claims the star was scared of guns. He said at the time, “It is all cobblers. Daniel is a hard lad — you wouldn’t want to meet him in a dark street. Is he a wimp? No, I wouldn’t like to call him that to his face. He can look after himself all right.”
Wait. Did James Bond’s dad just call him a fruit-based dessert/rapist that lurks in alleys with an erection? I’m confused. This is exactly why I stopped watching Guy Ritchie movies. Everything’s all masturbating penguins dressed like Mr. Rogers. (See? I can make shit up too.)