Dane Cook Joked About The Colorado Shooting. Goddammit…

July 27th, 2012 // 54 Comments
Dane Cook
WATCH: Dane Cook Jokes About 'Dark Knight Rises' Shooting
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Daniel Tosh
Daniel Tosh Made A Rape Joke?
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If you thought anyone learned a thing from the Daniel Tosh and Tracy Morgan incidents, clearly you’ve underestimated the media’s reluctance to let go of these taken completely out of context comedy jokes stories. So I hope everyone’s ready to be constantly forwarded an 8,000 word Lindy West essay on how to tell a shooting massacre joke because here’s Dane Cook trying out material at the Laugh Factory last night where he did a bit about The Dark Knight Rises shooting in Colorado (above). My God, a comedian using topical humor? Whoever heard of such a thing? Via TMZ:

“So I heard that the guy came into the theater about 25 minutes into the movie … And I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie, but the movie is pretty much a piece of crap … yeah, spoiler alert.”
Cook continued … “I know that if none of that would have happened, pretty sure that somebody in that theater, about 25 minutes in, realizing it was a piece of crap, was probably like ‘ugh fucking shoot me.’”

Here’s what’s going to be absolutely retarded about this whole situation without even getting into the joke not being that funny or, again, it’s a fucking comedy club. EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET WAS MAKING JOKES BEFORE THE LAST SHELL CASING EVEN HIT THE GROUND. Dane Cook didn’t even do anything edgy or controversial or offensively groundbreaking. In fact, he actually waited a few days, which he didn’t have to, before cracking a joke in the most appropriate of all places to crack this sort of joke. Except not anymore because now there’s always some jackass with an iPhone just waiting to post a video to YouTube of a comic trying out material and hopefully saying something that will sound horrible out of context. The whole thing makes me want to gang rape a theater shooting for not stabbing its gay kid in the head.

Photo: Getty


  1. The Cricket Nerd

    It’s not much of a joke. In fact, it’s more social commentary than humor.

    • CranAppleSnapple

      Yeah. Quite apart from the fact that he is an asshole, he’s just not clever or funny.

      • eatme

        …takes some balls to make a joke like this, and I didn’t think this fucktard had any. I actually think more of him now. Hopefully he’ll make some rape jokes next.

  2. USDA Prime McBeef

    most people like their panties tied up in a loose knot, so they can pull the ends on a moment’s notice.

  3. jimmy james

    you suck, Dane Cook. just shut up.

  4. Urvag

    Here’s a joke: people actually paid money to go see this guy.

    • gunt

      Ha! seriously though, this clowns dissing the batman movie? … dude have you ever watched one of your own movies?

  5. The douchebag could have at least tried to write a funny joke about the shootings. Oh wait, I forgot who I was talking about for a second…

  6. Devilish Diva

    Dane Cook is still performing? People pay to see this d-bag?

  7. Triscuit

    Dark humor has its place. Not everyone can handle it, though. I bet he enjoys dead baby jokes in the privacy of his own home (because come on, who doesn’t!)

  8. El Jefe

    They showed on the news the other day the comedy act of one of the guys that got shot in Colorado and he was much funnier than Dane Cock has ever been. Not even kidding.

  9. Dane Cook is to comedy what James Holmes is to the 2nd Amendment.

  10. Muffintopper

    Dane Cook : Comedy :: James Holmes : Movies

  11. That joke is about as funny as a New Yorker cartoon.

  12. quaterindie

    Shouldn’t we be more offended that his jokes sucked?

    The real tragedy in all of this is the thousands of dollar worth of popcorn that the sick bastard ruined.

  13. Negrodamus

    That’s pretty funny, because I saw Dave Chappelle perform two nights after the shooting, and while he brought it up, he knew not to joke about it. And the people I saw on Twitter telling the jokes to stop were, wait for it, COMEDIANS! So, if anybody are hypocrites, it’s the comedians themselves. One week rape jokes should never be interfered with, the next week comics are threatening to no longer associate themselves with anybody who makes a joke about the shooting. But Dane Cook already has no friends, so it doesn’t really affect him.

  14. bbiowa

    The outrage should rightfully be directed at whomever he stole the joke from.

  15. You want to joke about the shooting? Fine, you’re a “comedian,” I get it.

    But dude, can you please come up with better material than your average 9 year old internet troll?

  16. Inner Retard

    I bet someone 5 minutes into his show already went: Ugh, fucking shoot me.

  17. Brandon

    I’ve never understood the idea that comedians should get some kind of immunity from outrage when telling jokes that are, at best, in poor taste, and at worst, horrifically offensive and delivered for shock value instead of laughs or entertainment.

    • Read “The Naked Jape” by Jimmy Carr & Lucy Greeves… they explain it quite well. Actually, I recommend it to anyone who wants to get a better understanding of the concepts of comedy.

  18. mike

    Big shock. This is what that no-talent hack has to resort to in a futile attempt to get a laugh.

  19. Livinus Nwambe

    Poetically, the lady who got her panties in a twist over the Tosh comments was in the audience to see Dane Cook.

  20. Herbalchic

    I can take an offensive joke, but not a fucking lame ass joke. If you’re going to be offensive, at least be clever. I never understood why anyone thought this guy was funny to begin with. He’s always had terrible jokes that weren’t funny. This is just more proof.

  21. judgingyou

    Now if only it had been funny, but it’s Dane Cook so that’s impossible.

  22. Smapdi

    Cook hasn’t been funny in the past, isn’t funny now, and won’t be funny at any point in the future. He is to comedy what Kutcher is to doucheness. I’m sure there are many comedians out there successfully pulling off similar jokes, but it works because they are funny, but it doesn’t work for Dane Cook because he isn’t funny.

  23. Ugh

    I read funnier stuff as off-hand comments on messageboards. E.g. “If he’d shot up a John Carter screening, there’d have been no casualties.”

  24. Mortimer

    This “joke” is not comparable to the gang-rape “joke”.

    This is an actual joke – or an attempt at one – while the gang-rape bit was just dumb and threatening.

  25. ADT

    The most offensive thing about this is that they’re still letting Dane Cook tell jokes.

  26. Fred

    Greatest “too soon” joke ever: Gilbert Godfried at the Hugh Hefner Roast. “Sorry I’m late, but my plane made an unscheduled stop at the Empire State Building.”

  27. Charlie Hodge

    I don’t believe this because Dane Cook can’t tell a joke.

  28. Wouldn’t it be funny if like five guys came into the comedy club and shot up Dane Cook?

  29. whogivesashit

    he is an ass

  30. Axel

    I’ll one up you. What if somebody came and shot Dane Cook’s FAMILY when they were going to the movies? Wouldn’t you find that so funny? Truly hysterical stuff.

  31. Rutty

    The jokes not funny because Dane Cook told it!

    ahhh ahh! See what I did there!!??!

    That’s right. I’m super funny and clever.


    6 or 7 people posting above this.

  32. The headline says “Dane Cook Joked.” That’s one of those contradictions in terms, like “LeAnn Rimes Ate” or “Britney Spears Thought” or “Lohan Family Donated.”

  33. such an unfunny asshole

  34. HATE

    Mass murder is cool!

    Misanthropy !!!!

    ……..…../´¯/)……….. (\¯`\
    …………/….//……….. …\\….\
    ………../….//………… ….\\….\
    …../´¯/…./´¯\………../¯ `\….\¯`\
    .././…/…./…./.|_……_| .\….\….\…\.\..
    (.(….(….(…./.)..)..(..(. \….)….)….).)
    .\…………….\/…/….\. ..\/……………./
    ..\…………….. /……..\……………..…/
    ….\…………..(………. ..)……………./

  35. Frunken

    Whenever people talk about this guy it’s either that he stole jokes from Louis CK or that “he was never funny”. But when you try mixing the two you’re indirectly saying Louis CK wasn’t funny.

    I remember the side-by-side comparison videos used to call him out and still think Dane’s delivery and timing were better.

  36. Anonymous

    I think the most offensive thing about this is that people actually paid to see this comedy hack. He’s not even remotely funny and never has been. No clue what the hell people see in this untalented douche.

  37. People need to worry more about terrorist of the world and Westboro Baptist Church Hurting families and picketing soldiers funerals and other people then one small joke by a big hearted comedian that helps the homeless and does good. Westboro Baptist Church Protesters Blocked At Fallen Soldier’s Funeral http://huff.to/NqzxI8 via @HuffPostPo

    Cook has a big heart and does care and helps alot of people. Don’t judge less U be judged. We have all have made a bad decision before and alot of comedians have done the same. It’s a joke and people laughed at it. He didn’t say it with malice. He just wants to make people laugh and not hurt people. It has’t to be a hard job to do that every night.People have said alot of hurtful things to Mr.Cook about his parents and their deaths. I feel sorry for all he has had to put up with. People have said some very cruel things to him. Try walking in his shoes for a day. I don’t think I would want too. This was posted on Twitter before the joke was told. Dane does care about his fellow man.
    23 JulDane Cook‏ Please help comedian Caleb Medley who was seriously injured in the Aurora massacre. His wife gave birth today. No one made a big deal out of all the 9/11 jokes that everyone told.

  38. metal_gear


    That just means they’re just as insensitive as that dick is. Dammit, people. You can be funny without cracking jokes about tragedies like this. I’ve seen it done!

  39. SarahR

    Anyone who jokes about this is a heartless jerk. You have no idea how painful the experience was, you disgusting, ugly, pathetic excuse for a man.

  40. SarahR

    Kimberly – “I don’t think I would want too” – goes to show the education level of the people that defend Dane Cook. Glad you’re a bleeding heart for him, so apparently that makes it ok for him to make light of everyone else’s tragedies? You’re just as bad as he is. I hope you are spared horrific tragedies, because you obviously would not be able to deal with them.

  41. Errol Flynn

    He looks awful.

  42. Ugh. Wasn’t even a good joke. Poor Dane — the first exposure he’s gotten in years and it’s a flop joke. Somebody get him a pasta salad and a motivational cassette tape.

  43. titi

    well, it was all a staged inside job, anyway

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