Dan Aykroyd Says ‘Ghostbusters’ Is Better Than Original, HIT THE DECK
Despite the perfect storm of a black child falling into a gorilla cage, which forced the execution of said gorilla igniting the internet into a shit-nado of predictable racism and overzealous animal love (because clearly that gorilla was going to raise the child like Tarzan and not, oh I dunno, fucking snap its neck at any second), let’s not forget the hordes of small-cocked wiener-nerds who are still out there absolutely losing their shit over the new, all-female Ghostbusters. Mainly because it’s funny to laugh at them as they scream and flail about how their “childhoods are ruined” despite the fact they can still watch the original whenever they want and no one’s holding a gun to their head to make them see something they clearly like but with vaginas this time. So it’s really going to help that Dan Aykroyd – who not only starred in the original Ghostbusters, but goddamn created it – just gave the new movie his endorsement and said its better than the first two. We’re at DEFCON ACTUALLY, people!
“As originator of the original: Saw test screening of new movie. Apart from brilliant, genuine performances from the cast both female and male, it has more laughs and more scares than the first 2 films plus Bill Murray is in it! As one of millions of man-fans and Ray Stantz, I’m paying to see that and bringing all my friends!”
Of course, I should probably mention Dan Aykroyd is an executive producer and gets a nickel anytime someone even says Ghostbusters, but that still doesn’t make it any less hilarious that one-fourth of the sacred, untouchable original just endorsed a reboot (as did Bill Murray by being fucking in it) that the entire online He-Man Woman Haters Club thinks is a cootie-bomb waiting to explode feminism over everything. That’s like the inventor of video games saying, “Oh, no, girls can play them, too.” The wiener-net’s gonna flip.
Photo: Sony/Columbia Pictures