Damon Dash’s man-parts will drive you crazy – literally

The former chief of Roc-A-Fella Records Damon Dash is being sued by a Georgia woman who claims he exposed himself to her at a nightclub causing her to hear voices in her head. Jamie Roberts claims in the lawsuit she wrote herself that the incident happened in 2004 and Damon Dash allegedly used an alias when he met her at the club. She had no idea who he was until she watched an episode of Chappelle’s Show in 2005, according to NY Daily News:

A complaint filed in Manhattan Supreme Court says the encounter left the woman – who admits to suffering from schizophrenia and bipolar disorder – hearing Dash’s voice in her ear “giving her certain instructions to follow.”
Roberts alleges she met someone introducing himself as “Jeremy McIntyre” at a Miami nightclub in March 2004, and agreed to rendezvous with him later at a marina near the club.
She is seeking $30,000 in damages.

These allegations sound a bit kooky to me. And, if I learned any life lesson in college, it’s this: Women only become crazy after you have drunken sex with them on top of a keg then don’t go to the mall with them the next day because you’d rather play Halo in your dorm room while drinking warm beer from a trunk under your bed. So, clearly, these accusations have all kinds of holes in them. I should be a lawyer.

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